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Old 10-10-2011, 12:36 PM   #1
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lost my dad 3 months ago

I'm not really sure how to go about posting on here. I'm not even sure if this is the right thing to do. But I do know I needed to talk and vent somehow. So I'm hoping this will help me get some things out.

I am a 21-year-old college student. But I was still 20 when my dad died. And I guess he was actually my grandfather, but he adopted me when I was four, and raised me as his daughter. Therefore, I really lost my grandfather and dad on the same day. But I don't want anyone thinking he was older or that he had been sick. He was only 62, and this was completely unexpected. He had an aortic aneurysm.

I've dreamt about him on almost a weekly basis, sometimes more, sometimes less. I feel like I'm in absolute denial because I hold onto these dreams to keep him alive. He died June 30, it's October 10, and I still wonder if there's any way he can come back. Just for a short while.

I'm also really irritated that everyone keeps telling me I'm going to be fine, that it's really my grandmother/mom I should be worried about. Don't they understand this is really hard for me, too?

 
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Old 10-10-2011, 12:46 PM   #2
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Re: lost my dad 3 months ago

First let me say how sorry I am for your loss.
I don't think you're in denial because you're dreaming about him.....we have no control over our dreams, and I like to think that our loved ones who have passed on "visit" us in our dreams to let us know that they're ok, and they're still around. I think he IS "coming back to you for a short while". Don't despair about your dreams, think of them as a gift. The spirit lives on. The soul lives on, it just leaves the earthly plane. Your dad is still very much around you and with you. Take comfort in that.

Last edited by mod85; 10-10-2011 at 02:25 PM.

 
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Old 10-10-2011, 12:47 PM   #3
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Re: lost my dad 3 months ago

That really does help. That's a good way to look at things.

Maybe this forum was a good idea after all.

Thank you!

 
Old 10-10-2011, 01:01 PM   #4
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Re: lost my dad 3 months ago

yes this forum is a great idea, glad you found it!
I'm glad I could help. Also there is no timetable for grief, everyone grieves at your own pace. I don't think people are trying to be callous when they say you'll be fine, I think sometimes people struggle for the right words, and they are trying in their own way to comfort you.

 
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