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Old 11-24-2011, 04:22 PM   #1
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help... am I in the right place?

Hi everyone,
I'm not sure if Im in the right place but I don't know where to turn to. There really is no place for a person in my situation. A little over 6 months ago, a very special friend made a suicide attempt, however I feel as if I have lost him/he has died. I am thankful to God everyday that he survived and there was an angel watching over him. With that said, you probably wonder why I am here if he's still alive.
This friend was really close to me, but I didn't know my friend's family. I was able to see him once in the psych ward a few months after his attempt, but after that lost complete contact with him as his cellphone and email accounts had been deactivated at the family's request to help him heal. I have heard he is staying with his mother, but she has remarried, so I don't know her new last name and where to start looking for him. To make matters worse, it seems nobody understands why I am taking this hard, but they also didn't know him, nor the impact he had on my life. He was one of those people who got me....good/bad and everything in between and never gave up on me. He was my rock.
It hit me really bad that I miss him when I passed a dead body on the side of the highway, that the police didn't cover so well. It was two days after the 6 month anniversary of his attempt and near a bridge. (My friend's attempt was off an overpass onto the highway). I thought it was natural to miss him, think of him and shed a few tears, but people told me otherwise.....how can they? even one person who was a mutual friend just shrugged it off.
This is why I am here or trying to find the place to be. Is it normal to have grief over an attempt?
Thanks for listening.

 
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Old 12-08-2011, 04:58 PM   #2
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Re: help...am I in the right place?

I think your feelings are important, and I encourage you to focus all of your energy on praying for your friend's total recovery. If that happens, it seems likely to me that he will get back in contact with you. The truth is, as much as you are hurting and as much as you are missing him, thankfully he is not dead, and that is something you need to hold in your heart for all it's worth. Death is final. A suicide attempt is not. He still has the hope of a good, long life.

blessings, Sue

 
Old 01-03-2012, 08:17 AM   #3
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Re: help...am I in the right place?

Quote:
Originally Posted by missing you View Post
Hi everyone,
I'm not sure if Im in the right place but I don't know where to turn to. There really is no place for a person in my situation. A little over 6 months ago, a very special friend made a suicide attempt, however I feel as if I have lost him/he has died. I am thankful to God everyday that he survived and there was an angel watching over him. With that said, you probably wonder why I am here if he's still alive.
This friend was really close to me, but I didn't know my friend's family. I was able to see him once in the psych ward a few months after his attempt, but after that lost complete contact with him as his cellphone and email accounts had been deactivated at the family's request to help him heal. I have heard he is staying with his mother, but she has remarried, so I don't know her new last name and where to start looking for him. To make matters worse, it seems nobody understands why I am taking this hard, but they also didn't know him, nor the impact he had on my life. He was one of those people who got me....good/bad and everything in between and never gave up on me. He was my rock.
It hit me really bad that I miss him when I passed a dead body on the side of the highway, that the police didn't cover so well. It was two days after the 6 month anniversary of his attempt and near a bridge. (My friend's attempt was off an overpass onto the highway). I thought it was natural to miss him, think of him and shed a few tears, but people told me otherwise.....how can they? even one person who was a mutual friend just shrugged it off.
This is why I am here or trying to find the place to be. Is it normal to have grief over an attempt?
Thanks for listening.
Yes,it's totally normal to feel this way ! I am sure you must be scared to death he might try it again and succeed ! This is called anticpatory grief and you're grieving the loss of someone that you were very close to you. Do you have mutual friends that may have your friends mom's address and phone number ? If you get that information I suggest you may want to write a letter to him and give him some time to respond either by a letter back to you or a phone call. He may not be feeling strong enough emotionally right now to communicate with you yet. Be patient and understanding with him.
Sometimes that the friends we feel are strong emotionally aren't but they don't show it or express it to you. I had this happen to me with my favorite teacher in school that I am very close to and confided in her a lot and leaned on a lot for support. She took an overdose of an asthma inhaler and almost succeeded in killing herself. She was in ICU,for awhile not sure how long though. I wrote her letter afterwards telling her how much I loved and cared about her and the positive impact she has had on my life. I live on the west coast and she is on the east coast so I couldn't go see her in the hospital. I always made sure I had a visit with her when I was back east to visit my family but when I came back the summer after her suicide attempt she told me how much more that visit meant to her than any other. I'm not sure why because as far as I was concerned nothing had changed in my heart and mind as to how much her friendship meant to me. I continue to have a very close friendship with her and remind her much she means to me on a regular basis. So,the point I am trying to communicate to you is to let him how much you care about him when you write a letter to him or talk on the phone.

 
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