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Old 01-24-2012, 07:07 PM   #1
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Loss of daughter

Coming up on six month anniversary of death of 36 year old daugther from rare brain disease (moyamoya) So how are you out there coping with your losses? I always considered myself a pretty well grounded person but find grief really has no pattern, no time line and changes from day to day. Some days the memories have a gentle tone to them and one can smile and move through it pretty well, but other times seems like I am back at square one thinking about the bad memories , last moments and dealing with the organ donation issue. I live in a very small community and haven't found a support group-I saw a counselor (I had previously seen for a personal stress issue) She saw me twice and then suggested that we "take a break" that she thought I was doing pretty well and could always call her again if I really thought I needed to talk. I cope by talking and some of the talking I need to do isn't fair to burden those around me with. I think it was disappointing to feel like the counselor wasn't too interested in my grief. I would welcome any comments someone may have. Dream Catcher

 
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Old 01-24-2012, 10:32 PM   #2
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Re: Loss of daughter

hi,its not that different people deal with grief differently,i have lost people close to me ,grandparents,a parent,and gone through the grief process ok but two years ago i lost my 35 year old daughter and im still not able to move on nothing seems to help perhaps in time that may change

Last edited by souriya123; 01-26-2012 at 10:33 PM.

 
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Old 03-30-2012, 10:22 PM   #3
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Re: Loss of daughter

My condolances to you both. I know the sadness of loosing a child as well. My son was 26 and what happened 19 months ago when my world crashed in still feels like it happened yesterday. The heartbreak of our loss is still so unbearable at times. I didn't leave my house for several months after his tragic death. I'm getting through my days better now, it's the alone time minutes I seem to falter with. Those horrible thoughts that creep into my brain when I least expect them. I've tried to do everything to keep good memories alive in my heart...the smiling pictures, spending time with people who meant something to him, the memories of all the precious and joyful times, the knowing of how much we loved each other. As was stated, some days, some minutes are easier, while others are more challenging making the loss feel brand new to me. Sometimes I experience unsettling physical reactions. I expect that as time moves on, those will be less frequent.
I'm one who needs to talk about my son. Others cope by not talking. I understand that, but it's been very hard for me to deal with it. I'm trying to respect that we all cope differently, but in my mind I want to scream, "he lived....please let's not ignore that by never talking about him". I do get emotional and tearful sometimes when I'm talking about him and I see that makes some people uncomfortable. I do wish other people would suck it up more, and just let me express myself even if it makes me sad. It's all a necessary part of our grief process of loosing a child.
I went for counseling one on one for a while immediately after my son died. It was helpful considering I didn't feel I could talk to others easily. 7months after my son died I felt ready to attend a series of berevement sessions (small group) that were offered at a local cancer center for anyone who'd lost a loved one. It was a good experience for me. It offered each of us an opportunity to express our loss with others who were grieving their loss. Everyone was so compassionate and generous. The group leader gave us small lessons from week to week which were very helpful in getting us to explore our feelings as we told our stories. I would encourage looking into similar support groups that might be available in your area...especially if you feel the need to open up.
To Dream Catcher...regarding the experience you had with your counselor... perhaps she herself isn't comfortable or experienced in working with people who are grieving. Try to find someone who is willing to spend the time that you need exploring the depth of your loss. Try contacting an area hospital's social work service, or chaplain. Typically, they would be familiar with available resources for people dealing with grief from loosing loved ones.

Last edited by hopefloats36; 03-30-2012 at 10:27 PM.

 
Old 03-31-2012, 12:41 PM   #4
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Re: Loss of daughter

God bless all of you ladies. There is nothing worse than losing a child. My prayers are with you.

Sue

 
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