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Old 03-31-2012, 12:37 PM   #1
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Can't Grieve - Survivor's Guilt

Hello All,

My brother was murdered in 1990 and I happened to witness it.
From 2000-2005 I seemed to have things under control.
In late 2005,I got into an accident which wasn't my fault and the driver of the truck lied and the "witness" he conjured also did.

Since this accident,i've been feeling utterly guilty for surviving,when my brother didn't.
The two attackers ran right past me and had every opportunity to stab me,as I was frozen from the shock of it all.

Just can't seem to close those flood gates.

Sincerely
Phoenix
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Old 03-31-2012, 12:39 PM   #2
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Re: Can't Grieve;Survivor's Guilt

I'm so sorry for your loss, Phoenix.
Tell us, what do you think your brother would want for you? Would he want you to feel guilty? Does the guilt honor your brother's life in any way?

blessings, Sue

 
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Old 03-31-2012, 12:45 PM   #3
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Re: Can't Grieve;Survivor's Guilt

Quote:
Originally Posted by slenderella View Post
Tell us, what do you think your brother would want for you? Would he want you to feel guilty? Does the guilt honor your brother's life in any way?

blessings, Sue
Hello Sue,

I honestly have no immediate answer to your questions,as my mind is cluttered with so much.

Thank you for your timely reply;I think you set a record

Thank you for your response;seriously.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Old 03-31-2012, 01:53 PM   #4
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Re: Can't Grieve;Survivor's Guilt

Well there are people here willing to listen. Keep coming back to talk and try to sort things out, okay?
My personal opinion is that your brother would not want you to feel guilty. You did nothing wrong. You loved him and would never have wanted him to die but these circumstances were totally out of your control.
The best way to commemorate your brother's life is to live one that celebrates him.
Your guilt will keep you stuck and miserable. I know it's easier said, than done, believe me.

Sue

 
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Old 03-31-2012, 04:56 PM   #5
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Re: Can't Grieve - Survivor's Guilt

You're right Sue,

It's something that i've evaded since my accident because that seems to be when all the thoughts came to me in droves.

I will keep coming back;it's just so hard to process emotionally.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Old 05-24-2012, 04:23 PM   #6
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Re: Can't Grieve - Survivor's Guilt

Phoenix, I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain losing somone you love, I lost 2 sons one long ago and one in 2011. You will go through a gamit of emotion and just when you think things are settling down it can come up again. It is with you every day I am sure but please don't feel quilty you cannot change anything that has happened and you are alive so try to be happy about that. I am sure your brother would want you to be happy. My thoughts are with you at this terrible time.

 
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