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-   -   What do I do? I'm a 23 year old orphan. (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/grief-loss/896794-what-do-i-do-im-23-year-old-orphan.html)

Jazmin7 04-13-2012 12:50 AM

What do I do? I'm a 23 year old orphan.
 
So my Dad died about a year ago. My mom died 8 years ago. I have a little sister who is taking it really hard. She is 19. I don't know what to to do to help her. I'm trying my best. I talk to her every day and tell her that I love her all the time. She is depressed and talks about hurting herself. She doesn't believe in herself. I tell her that she is smart and talented and beautiful and I really do believe it but she doesn't.

I miss my Dad so much. He was my best friend. My everything. He was always there for me and was such an amazing person. It's not fair that we have to go through this. I'm a good person. I pray and believe in God. I try my best every day to make good choices. It's so hard though. I just don't know what to do sometimes. I don't have a very good support system, it's mostly made up of a few people my age. My relatives don't seem to care about me.

I don't know what to do. I'm trying really hard to help my sister while still trying to keep my life on track. I give her everything I have. I can't even have a good time without feeling guilty that she's having such a hard time. She lives a couple of hours away from me right now and I told her she could come and live with me until she can get a job and a place of her own up here since her living situation right now is no good, but she doesn't have confidence in her self. I know she can do it but I don't want her to come out here and then just give up and feel like a failure.

I guess I'm just hoping for some advice on what to do. Is there anyone out there who went through a simular situation? It's so hard since I'm so young. I don't feel how a 23 year old should. It's so unfair...

slenderella 04-14-2012 11:54 AM

Re: What do I do? I'm a 23 year old orphan.
 
You have had some terrible losses. I'm so sorry!!!! It sounds as if you are doing all you can for your sister. You love her, you have offered many ways of support, but ultimately it is her life, just as you have your own to live. My suggestion, since you do believe in God, is to consider looking for a Church or temple to attend. In time, they can become like a new family for you. My own Church family is very loving and its been so helpful.
Also, I believe in my heart that God does NOT want you to feel guilty for having good times, knowing that your sister is not. You both need to move forward with your lives, and having good times is a way of moving forward. Your parents would want that for both of you I'm sure.
You sound like a loving and responsible girl, but try not to take on all of the responsibility of your sister, too. We each have free will, and if she is not willing or ready to accept your help, just stay lovingly removed and continue on with your own healing.

blessings, Sue

siddharthsid 11-01-2012 03:53 PM

Re: What do I do? I'm a 23 year old orphan.
 
Such things happen in life.
I'm so sorry for your loss but I feel you have a bright side to this I'm an orphan to from the beginning I can tell you how hard it is.
You guys have got the lovable memories of your loved ones, on the other hand take me I was an orphan from my birth(i guess) i was in a orphanage till the age of 5, I was forced to leave it since it was low on fund from then I grew up on streets and now i found a job at a coffee shop.

i'm sure your sister will be alright just show her my post
tell her to get over with it and try to make out of the life which your parents gave.
you atleast got to have parents.I never had then except a picture of them but even it was stolen when i was living on the streets.

i don't know if my story makes you feel better but i wish all the world for you to get better.

sid.

Suttonx5 11-12-2012 09:12 AM

Re: What do I do? I'm a 23 year old orphan.
 
My situation is alot similar to yours. I am 35 years old & my sister will be 46 in a couple of weeks. We lost our mom to breast cancer when I was 16 & she was 27. Then less than 2 months ago on Sept 24th, we lost our Dad to cancer. We only knew he had cancer for 12 days when he died. I am having a much harder tine than my sister but no 2 people grieve the same way. Just remember that but don't feel guilty to move on with your life. Just be there for your little sister all u can & give her encouragement. I am so sorry for your loss as well. Kuddos on being such a wonderful big sister. She is very lucky to have you!


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