It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Grief & Loss Message Board

lost my parents 30 days apart

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-28-2012, 03:31 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,106
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
lost my parents 30 days apart

I just lost both of my parents exactly 30 days apart. Although my parents had lived a full life and had been married 64 years, it still was not the time or the circumstances that anyone would have ever guessed.

My mom had become dehydrated and exhausted trying to keep up with caring for my dads needs. My dad had really slowed down and my mother was working herself to death. One night my dad found my mother face down on the patio at about midnight, she had collapsed and broken her neck. She lived for 23 days in agony and it was the hardest thing in the world to watch her die that way.

On the second day after my mom died, my dad stopped eating and soon after was admitted to hospice, where he died on the thirtyith day after her death. It was shocking and horrible that they both were gone just like that!

I planned an entire double funeral with full military honors for my parents and me and my two sons gave the service by ourselves. It was a beautiful day and I will never forget it. I know ther are looking down on us and guiding us along.

Very soon after the funerals, I had an awful accident out in the desert off roading on my quad. I broke 7 ribs, my clavicle, and punctured my lung with my ribs. I could have easily lost my life too, and have spent the last 8 weeks in bed recovering.

Now I feel like the real grieving shall begin. as much as I dont want it to...I know it has to come. Today was a milestone just because I opened the box with the will and the insurance papers in it to fill out. I have avoided them until now, for good reason.

My thoughts and prayers to all of those out there, who have expressed their losses in life, especially the youngest ones, I was lucky to be grown and have my own children for supprot Lvoe to all...

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 03-04-2012, 04:58 PM   #2
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Rockhampton
Posts: 42
Augustusine HB UserAugustusine HB User
Re: 25 Years Old, Lost Both Parents and Have No Siblings-Help

I am so sorry that you lost your parents and especially that you were away when your father died. People made you leave the hospital only because they were concerned for you and sometimes those we love need to be alone in order to go (die). I wasn't there when my husband died and I felt guilty but I had asked them to ring me when his time was getting close. He died so quietly they did not realise he had done so at first even though they stated there was a nurse in the room. I can't blame them can I? I have blamed and punished myself long enough. Your boyfriend sounds loving and caring and that is just what you need. You might have to just make them your whole family. Go for the bigger wedding , just have him ask if some of his family can spread around the church a bit rather than sitting on one side. You will always have that day to look back on. We all lose those we love and I understand how you would love to have someone share your happiness and milestones but you'll have him on your side anyway and he sounds a whole lot of good to me. What else do you need sweetheart?

Old 04-13-2012, 01:16 AM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2
Jazmin7 HB User
Re: 25 Years Old, Lost Both Parents and Have No Siblings-Help

Hi. I also joined this message board because of your post. I'm 23 and both my parents have passed away. My Dad was just about a year ago and my mom 8 years ago. I hate it. I loved my Dad so much and he was taken away from me. I'm blessed to have a little sister, but she's going through such a hard time and I try to be the best sister I can but it's really hard sometimes. I try to be the parent and I'm so not prepared for that.

I keep going because I can't give up. I have to make something of my life because this is my only chance. I tell myself that I'm blessed for having such great parents, even if it was only a short time. But it's hard. I'm not married and sometimes I don't even want to get married since my dad wont be there to walk me down the isle. I dont even want to have kids sometimes because they wont have him. He was so amazing...

It's hard and I pray that it gets easier. It seems having good people in your life who care for you helps.

If you ever want to chat I'd love to.

Old 04-17-2012, 07:26 AM   #4
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,106
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
Re: 25 Years Old, Lost Both Parents and Have No Siblings-Help

Hello to all...

Although I am older, I too have just lost both my parents, withing 30 days of each other. My mother fell and broke her neck, and suffered for 23 days until her death. My fathers reaction was to simply quit eating, and he died on the 30th day after. There is nothing easy about this loss, and at about 4 months past the losses, I still find myself simply breaking down for no obvious reason.

Just this week I lost my only aunt this side of Mississippi, and tomorrow is the funeral, I have to go to represent my parents, but there is nothing about it I look forward to.

One thing I have learned that I have to repeat to myself, it that ...
I am strong, I am resiliant. i can do thing, I have my own children to protect and raise still. I am wishing you the very best, but understand how very hard it is...


Old 05-15-2012, 06:50 PM   #5
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Lakewood,CO, USA
Posts: 2
swintzen HB User
Re: 25 Years Old, Lost Both Parents and Have No Siblings-Help

Please don't feel alone. I am too an only child. I lost my mother May 10th. I am heartbroken. I am 27 years old. I envy people with siblings. It is so hard being an only child :-(

Old 05-16-2012, 02:59 PM   #6
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 2
asura HB User
Re: 25 Years Old, Lost Both Parents and Have No Siblings-Help

like most I came here searching google I lost both parents,

I'm 19 and extremely depressed from the combination of losing both parents as well. The panic attacks and other is true, I rip and tear my hair out from the amount of stress and crying. Others go on about their relationships and their friends im without either of them. Its exhausting being so alone!! people know how much Im suffering and still abandon/ignore me by myself. I live off social security benefits but its not what I asked for! commonly you think over the wedding, graduation ceremony and other events they will miss now! I dont even want to pursue life and graduate and so everything on my own!

Last edited by Administrator; 06-17-2012 at 10:19 PM.

Old 06-17-2012, 12:01 PM   #7
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Singapore
Posts: 1
minttt HB User
Re: 25 Years Old, Lost Both Parents and Have No Siblings-Help

Hi all,

I came from other part of the world, from Asia to be specific and like many of you here, I have experienced the loss of both parents.

I lost my mother in 2008 when I was 21. She passed away from lung cancer. She fought so hard for 2 years but eventually succumbed to the illness. I did not spent much time with her during her last days as I was busy with my university exams, and did not get to see her breath her last as she passed away right before my exams, there was no way I could rush down in time. My father kept me in the dark with regards to her poor prognosis as he did not want it to affect my studies.

Life was painful since my mother passed on as I’m closer to her than my father, but I consoled myself that I no longer need to pay anymore visits to the hospitals (I hate hospitals), no more ‘scanxiety’. I thought life was back to normal, then 6 months later, my father fell ill and was rushed to the hospital. He was diagnosed with liver cirrhosis and liver cancer.

Fast forward to 2011, my father’s liver problems led to a serious of complications, which resulted in him staying in and out of the hospitals for the past 9 months. He was hospitalised on average once a month, and for his very last stay before he passed away 2 weeks ago, he was staying in the hospital for more than 2 months, spending his last month in the ICU. It was very very prainful for him as well as my family (my brother and I). He was intubated, he could not eat, he could not talk, he was suffering every single day. What ultimately claimed his life was pneumonia. If he did not contracted any lung infection, he could still be alive today, and he could still be able to go for a liver transplant, which could possibly give him a new lease of life. Such is the irony of life. I was so confident that he could eventually get well from the infections.

As for my father, I’m not close to him actually, we hardly talk and coming from an Asian family, we are not accustomed to showing our affection through hugs or even verbally, nonetheless, I still want to say I love my father a lot and I miss him dearly. Today happens to be father’s day, my family do not have the habit of celebrating father’s day, but I wish my father’s well, and that he has reunited with my mother, and hopefully someday, we will meet again.

It's just so depressing that I have lost both parents, and I'm just 25. I have very few friends due to my quiet character, and even then, I do not wish to talk to them with regards to my loss as everyone still have parents who are still around and are healthy. There is no way they can understand the pain which I'm going through right now. I have very few relatives as well. The only person I had with me is my brother but we are not close.

I'm glad to find this thread. I'm more than happy to make new friends who have gone through the same painful journey as me.

Hope to hear from you guys!

Last edited by moderator2; 06-17-2012 at 12:08 PM.

Old 06-17-2012, 12:15 PM   #8
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 2
asura HB User
Re: 25 Years Old, Lost Both Parents and Have No Siblings-Help

You are strong, a character of such survival. I feel for you, I really do, christmas will be spent by ourselves, birthdays as mine had and the following. Its been exhausting without the support of friends for me, yet reading your post reminds me to stay calm and concentrate on college and life instead of giving into despair.

Take care of yourself.

Last edited by Administrator; 06-17-2012 at 10:21 PM.

Old 11-03-2012, 06:59 PM   #9
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: none of your buisness
Posts: 1
valerielovesGod HB User
Unhappy Re: lost my parents 30 days apart

I know your pain my dad died when I was 4 and now I'm 13. two of my favorite aunts died this summer only a couple of months from each other.i cant tell you its gonna be okay the only thing I can say is that it gets better

Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:22 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2016 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!