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Old 08-22-2012, 11:07 AM   #1
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Losing a friend

A dear friend of mine has been stable with this disorder for the last 8 years. But recently because of a toxic buildup in her kidneys (which often happens with the drug Lithium that she takes) they lowered her dosage. But I think they did it too abruptly for she started spiraling.

She would up taking a too large dose and nearly succumed to a hear attack. Now she's in a mental facility where they have been working to stabalize her. She also receives group counseling.

I feel she is slipping away and it's really become a nightmare. I lost a brother-in-law years ago when something similar happend. In his case they stopped his lithium altogether because of the toxic buildup and never could stablize him with other meds. Even shock treatment was used. He commited suicide eventually.

I remain positive when I talk to her and try everything to encourage her. She has very low self-esteem and came from an abusive background. She has so many dystunctional relatives that pull her down still. I have always tried to build her up and emphasize how very important she is to those that love her. But in spite of her desire to get well, that damn brain chemistry is just not working and I feel like I will lose her.

 
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Old 08-24-2012, 09:15 AM   #2
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Thumbs down Re: Losing a friend

Originally I had posted this by mistake on the bi-polar board and then requested it be moved to the board that deals with the friends/family of these patients.

So what do they do? Move it to a grief and losss board. I had hoped for some feedback concerning dealing with this problem when it's a friend, but here the post is shoved and notice no replies either.

Waste of my time joining this board and I'll just keep looking to see if there is any place online that has some advice.

 
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Old 08-24-2012, 01:13 PM   #3
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Re: Losing a friend

Gael I'm sorry to hear about your friend! Don't give up on this board, possibly your post didn't get seen because it wasn't in the correct forum. I think you're a wonderful friend to her and I think you should continue to visit and help to be her advocate. Does she have any family that could help also?

 
Old 08-24-2012, 11:23 PM   #4
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Re: Losing a friend

Thanks for your reply, rosequartz (pretty name). Well, this post was only briefly on the incorrect board but I immediately notifed them here and it was swiftly moved.

Yes, she has family some of which are being helpful but her family, the mother in particular, is extremely dysfunctional. A good deal of her esteem problems stem from an alcholic, abusive mother who though now concerned, has continually been critical and verbally abusive to her.

The others rather look down on her and take advantage of her very generous nature. She in turn is always seeking approval. Add to that one of her daughters who recently turned against her because she went to lengths to protect the grandchildren which resulted in their being taken into care. But the daughter was neglecting them and had been imprisoned for assault of a partner as well.

My friend, however, just focuses on the fact that she could not take the grandchildren in because she's bi-polar. I tried pointing out to her to focus on how she got her grandchildren to safety. And it wasn't easy. She had to persist as once again, she was dismissed by the authorities because of her mental health background. But she really saved those kids truth be known.

She, however, is always critical and hard on herself so she just sees the negatives.

 
Old 08-29-2012, 06:16 PM   #5
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Re: Losing a friend

Gael,

I too apologize for your post being out of place, but I hope you do not give up on this forum either. There are many very kind and helpful folks in this group that really care about offering help to others in the way of words.

I too, commend you for being the friend you are for the reasons you have stated. Mental illness does bring many misunderstood reactions from others who know no better. Once you have taken the time to invest in a friend, mentally ill or not, that is a wonderful bond that is worth fighting for.

Your friend does seem to have had many difficulties in her life, and she deserves to have someone like you in her corner. I sure hope she listens and believes in all the positive things you have to offer her. Thank goodness we have people like you in this world that can offer their friendship with such an open and free heart.

I hope the very best for your friend, and that she can find a place of peace in this world, she certainly deserves it.

My best to both of you..

 
Old 08-29-2012, 10:42 PM   #6
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Re: Losing a friend

Thank you for your very kind and encouraging words. I am praying she makes it.

One positive is that she's motivated to survive and has survived thus far. I keep in touch with her and keep telling her that I love her. She just needs to love herself more and for her doctors to get that chemical balance.

 
Old 08-30-2012, 08:00 AM   #7
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Re: Losing a friend

yes it's good that she is a survivor......
she's probably a lot stronger than people give her credit for.
stick by her, I know she appreciates it.
Hopefully they can get her on the proper medicine and dosage and she will improve.

 
Old 08-30-2012, 08:20 AM   #8
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Re: Losing a friend

Yes, she has had a life of challenges but has fought to survive. The doctors have adjusted her dosage of lithium and are also having to add to the mix other meds to try to control her anxiety and depression. Always scares me that whole thing of messing with brain chemistry but this is not the type of disorder that can be handled by therapy alone.

 
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