My dad died of a sudden heart attack 3 weeks ago. My grandma died 5 days later. I was amazed at how well I was doing, holding up, keeping it together. Now I'm ****** off at everything. I wish I could just stay in my house and not deal with anyone, and I can't. If I don't work, I don't get paid, and I am in the people business and most people use me as a damn psychiatrist and I wish everyone would just shut up about everything. Sick of politics and the insults people throw at each other, sick of having to tell the story about my dad and grandma, sick of feeling bad, sick of crying, sick of bad dreams. My mom died years ago and at about week 3 afterwards, I felt like I was going crazy and I don't want that to happen again. What the hell am I doing wrong? I just want to feel normal. I don't even want to spend time with friends. I am so easily overwhelmed and exhausted and I hate it.
The following user gives a hug of support to purplesky: Ohfisil (11-01-2012)
I'm sorry that you have lost 2 of the most important people to ever be in your life...hugs! Losing them both so close together it's understandable to be so angry. I have lost almost all of my loved ones, and never so close together and I still get angry. I lost my sister in Aug 2011, and my moods go from angry to jealous and everything in between. Just talk about your dad and grandma when you feel like it, talk about your anger and what ever emotions you are feeling whether with someone you know or come back here and let it out. Talk about off topic stuff if it helps. I know what it's like to want the world to feel your pain, and what it's like to hold it in and make myself sick and withdraw from the outside world. Try to eat and sleep, and even smile. Hope tomorrow treats you a little kinder!
I wanted to add that I lost my mom in 1996 suddenly to a heart attack, and my sister was just 48 when she passed the same way last year just 4 days before the 15th anniversary of my moms death. I was 24 when my mom passed and I didn't want to burden my dad or my sister, or my own young family so I held my grief in and almost let it get the best of me. I just want you to know that there are others here who know those same feelings!
Last edited by ItsMeG; 10-29-2012 at 05:51 PM.
The Following User Says Thank You to ItsMeG For This Useful Post: purplesky (10-29-2012)