Originally Posted by imu
i've never done this before.. so not sure if im doing this right.
so back in march of 2011 my dad was dignosed with stage 4 colon cancer i was 23 never really delt with something like this. i was very close with my dad i saw him every day and he and my mom use to watch my son almost everyday when i worked. anyways the cancer kept spreaading throughout his body and we did surgerys and chemo and radiation. then back in june we found out the cancer went to his brain the doctors said he could still live for maybe 6 months or so but in august my parents were planning there last vacation to virgina to se my brother and the day before htey had to leave my dad was having some issues with his breathing so after he went to the hospital he just kept goign down hill and quick. it was almost two weeks in the hospital that my dad had past away. i was there the night he passed away i was next to the hospital bed as he took his last breath. and now still two months later i still think hes gonna come back and i just keep getting really depressed and angry that God had taken him. my 4 year son ask for him all the time and i just break i feel like i lost the one person that truly understands me and i just dont know what to do anymore i try to remember good memories of him but i just keep getting flashbacks from the two weeks i was at the hospital with him. i get nightmares from the day he died. i can still hear the last breath he took. but i just need some direction on where to go from here bc im completely lost and i do need someone to talk to
I feel your pain, it's been a year since I lost my Mom and 1 week since I lost my dear sister to pancreatic cancer. Cancer is a horrific disease, and to watch someone you love, slowly deteriorate day by day is unbelievably hard.
You want to do all you can for them, when in fact all you can do is keep them as comfortable as possible. The gamut of emotions you go through for a long time is indescribable.
I'm going through the same as you. Trying to remember all the good times, but those last hours of being with someone who is dying haunts you. I wish I could tell you that it will get better in time, but I'm not their, so I don't know.
The depression has grabbed hold of me also, the past week has been really hard for me to do anything. My house is a mess, the laundry is pilling up, and I haven't cooked a single meal. I just don't care anymore, and I don't know what to do either.
But you have a small child who needs you, I find myself lost as you do. Maybe between the 2 of us and those on this site we can just take it day by day.
I know that all, who I have lost are watching over me, helping to get through each day. I feel the same about your Dad. Have you been able to talk to your son, about where is grandfather has gone? Maybe you can talk with a professional, that can help you and your son. Just a suggestion.
I wish you peace and comfort as you come to terms with you loss.