Lost my Twin sister, depressed and not sure what to do.
This past summer my twin sister died in a car accident. Since then things around me have slowly begun to get worse. My mom has been the only one who has really tired to reach out for help. She goes to a support group every week but for the rest of us that isn't really our thing. I tried going to a counselor at my college but the sessions grew shorter and shorter because she would run out of things to ask me about. I always thought they were suppose to help me sort through situations. Idk it just irked me. My grades have been steady but the way I'm dealing with class is making me extremely stressed. I am a Community Health Major and more of the topics in class some how come back to death, car accidents, and young adults passing away suddenly. So I just show up to class for attendance purposes and then study my *** off right before the test.
I also learn about mental illnesses like depression and Post traumatic Stress Disorder which led me to believing I suffer from both. I isolate myself, replay the situation over and over in my head every single day, I'm negative about every situation, I lash out at others, become extremely emotional, create scenarios in my head of something bad happening to others or myself, I have no drive or motivation for anything, I sleep all the time, and I gained 20lbs in 6 months since my sister died.
My boyfriend is pretty much the only person I hang around with anymore and I know it's starting to take a toll on him. He hates the fact that I'm negative all the time and I never want to go out and party with him and our friends. I know he loves me and has been trying but I think it's starting to really get to him. We fight constantly anymore and it's always because of me. He thinks I can just change my attitude by flipping a switch but he doesn't understand that it's not that easy.
I finally told my mom that I was depressed and wanted help but all she gave me was a list of support groups around school. She doesn't understand that I feel like I need a real doctor to talk to and I strongly feel like I need to be on some kind of medication.
Anyone got any advice for me?