Need to talk to
Hi this is my first time here. I'm in such desparate need to talk to someone. I've had BP Disorder for the past 24 years. I've had ups N downs, hospitalizations, manic episodes, very bad depressive episodes. You name it, I've been through it. I've always worked very hard at becoming stable. I do everything I'm supposed to do: drs., meds. always N ontime everyday, therapy, support group, attend Bipolar Depression Conferences all over the US, etc. I've worked at the same job for 18 yrs, working with special needs kids. And love my work.
Here's where my problem lies. My absolute, #1, only person in my life I've ever trusted with anything N everything, my Bestfriend of 36yrs, died unexpectedly in Oct. jus 2 days after we had gone out. That was the last time I saw and talked to her.
My grieving for her has been so bad that I had to take a leave of absense from work, see my dr. more frequently, and raise my meds. Some days are better than others. I know everyone grieves, I do believe that the bipolar makes my grieving exaggerated to the highest level. I can say it and believe it, but it doesn't help to control how I feel.
I miss her so much that I feel 1/2 of me has died. That's how close we were. I don't have anyoone to talk to anymore. Not like I could open up to like I could with her. I'm now holding things inside and it's getting worse each day. I have friends, it's just that I never trusted anyone like I trusted her.
I'm losing it. I need to talk to someone. My husband tries, but I can't talk about the things I want to talk about to him. He doesn't get it, even after all these years.
I'm just so all alone without her.
Last edited by Administrator; 03-24-2013 at 06:43 PM.