Oh, Carol, how sorry I am to hear of your dear husband's passing.
It's so new and I can only imagine what it must be like for you having lost the love of your life who you have had since you were 15.
It sounds as if you had many happy, memorable moments and hopefully these will help you through the difficult days you are going through.
Thank God for your two children who are there to help you find a purpose to getting up each day.....for now that is what you need and in time you will see that is what your husband would want for you, as you would for him, if the situation were reversed.
Your living and celebrating each day is the best way to honor your husband......I have found this to be true since losing my youngest brother and my dear mom within 9 months of one another.
The two of them celebrated life and it is that which I try to keep as a legacy to their beautiful lives that I incorporate into my own.
So, Carol, grieve as you are entitled to but in your loss learn ways to cherish each day as your dear husband did.
Your future will have many happy moments, your husband will always be missed and you will wish he were there with you to share in those moments but so long as you carry him in your heart he will always be with you no matter where you go or how many days pass.
The first year is the hardest to get through and it will help to have family and friends to share that with.
Talk about your husband and you will find healing in that and eventually learn to smile at all the wonderful memories he gave you like a gift to be opened each day.
I also find that keeping a journal and memory box helps when I want to share special moments with my loved ones I miss so much.
If necessary, find a bereavement group to gather with others who understand what you are going through.
Unless you have suffered a great loss as you have, it's difficult for others to fully understand as much as they may try to.
It's only when another has walked in your two shoes that they understand the journey that you are on.
I wish you peace and comfort at this time and hope that with time the pain will be less and you will be healed with the happy and wonderful moments that you shared with your dear husband.
Love and ((((HUGS)))) ~ Ivory