I am sorry about your hair. I have been in that position too since I have been getting blonde highlights for years. Luckily I have learned a bunch of good tips after initially frying my hair.
*If you absolutely must color only do the roots
*If possible, stop using styling appliances that use heat (I have to use a hair dryer but I use the lowest setting - helps a lot!)
*Do not shampoo everday if possible. There are many harsh ingredients in there. If you must shampoo everyday get one with no SLS in it.
*When you do shampoo, only apply it to your scalp and let the rest rinse down through your ends.
*Use a deep conditioner with protein once per week (don't use every day because too much protein can make hair brittle)
*Buy a good leave in conditioner (I love Redken anti-snap - I paid 17 bucks for it but it is worth every penny!)
*You can also invest in a heat cap to use when wearing conditioner. I ordered one on the internet for 20 bucks (helps the conditioner penetrate the hair better)
*Just in case - Don't use Pantene products! They only coat the hair and will not penetrate the hair like a good conditioner would - I learned this the hard way.
Once I started doing the above my hair just got better and better. Today I have minimal damage and my hair feels great!
Let me know if you want more tips. . . or more hair products that I used- I think I have tried almost everything!
Sorry this was so long. I could go on and on and on. . . .