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Old 02-26-2008, 06:40 PM   #1
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Lillie3981 HB User
How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

I have a close friend that has a full beard. Like a guy, but she shaves it everyday. Unfortunately, she gets that "shadow" around evening and it is very obvious. She tries to cover it up with makeup, which makes it even worse because the makeup's not even the right tone. I think she thinks she has me and our other friends fooled. Nothing has ever been said to her before, at least by our friends. Her mother is a nurse, so I'd be surprised if she hadn't said anything. I wouldn't even know what to suggest to her to rid herself of this awful problem. I don't think she could afford laser or anything expensive.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. We've been struggling with this for years.

 
Old 02-27-2008, 10:08 AM   #2
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b4byfac3 HB User
Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

I think you should be honest with her and be a good friend and tell her your opinion. If you had like something on your face the whole day I'm pretty sure you would want your friend to tell you. As for the removal of the beard, i think laser is the only way to go. Maybe your friends can pitch in and pay for the treatment. Anyways, best of luck to your friend.

 
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Old 02-27-2008, 01:23 PM   #3
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Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

Do not say anything to her about it! She KNOWS it's there. And for her to have a true full beard, there are other medical problems going on that perhaps she isn't comfortable discussing with you.

Laser is not necessarily the best way to go with facial hair. It isn't effective on everyone, and especially if the hormonal problems that are causing the hair are not under control, laser would be a waste of money at this time.

Electrolysis is often the best solution for female facial hair. Even if the hormone imbalance isn't under control, electrolysis can be started.

Shaving is her best temporary method. It's not perfect. But if she were to wax or tweeze hormone induced facial hair, her problem would become even worse. Her mother, the nurse, has probably informed her of this.

Please, keep your opinions to yourself in this situation. Women who shave their face daily already have tremendously low self-esteem. You would not be the first person to point her beard out to her. Be her friend and just leave it alone.

 
Old 02-29-2008, 08:02 PM   #4
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Audrey11 HB User
Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

You've got to help her! She obviously doesn't know what to do to get rid of it but the question is how. Here are some suggestions:
a.) go get your make-up done together, might as well at least get her the right shade. Make sure it's non-comegedic and oil free (those will clog her pores and make the hair look even darker) I suggest going to ulta for bare minerals.
b.) bring her to the dermatologist with you, or get a medical facial together. You could even call ahead and present the situation. They are professionals about this stuff and could offer some suggestions. Plus, many small dermo offices offer laser hair removal and they might lower the price given the circumstances or offer a finance plan.
c.) there is a pill that slows facial hair growth (I dont know what it's called)
d.) The problem needs to be fixed and she won't even start to be happy unless she knows there's a permanent solution. Facial hair for women is embarressing and makes women feel introverted. I would just handle it by yourself, not your whole group of friends together. Yall should select who ever is closest with her to bring her with you to the dermo

 
Old 03-01-2008, 10:05 AM   #5
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Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

I literally know hundreds of women like your friend, and that's why I can say with such strong conviction, leave this alone. I have seen good intentions like this backfire terribly. She knows she has a hair problem. She knows what to do about it. She will take care of it when SHE is ready. It's not just about money, it's about getting the courage to allow another person to be up close and that personal with her, allowing them to see and touch what she works hard to conceal from the rest of the world. Absolutely do not put her in a position where someone else touches her face. No make overs, no facials, unless she initiates it.

Women who haven't dealt with having that amount of facial hair think that if the shoe was on the other foot that they would want a friend to be honest and tell them what to do. It is just the opposite when you are that woman. It is mortifying to them to have someone point it out and tell them what they should do about it. It's an extremely private situation. It's an extremely embarrassing situation. Never ever offer a woman advice regarding facial hair UNLESS she asks.

 
Old 03-01-2008, 10:08 AM   #6
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beautyofspeed HB User
Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

I agree with one of the posters above, I wouldn't say anything. It's not like she doesn't know. The only thing would be the makeup color -- you could casually drop into a conversation that you put on your foundation (or whatever makeup) in front of a window with natural light. Then maybe she'll try that too and see it's the wrong color. Or it might even bring up the topic and she will ask you if she has the proper color, etc.

As for solutions, I'm sure her and her mother and doctor have tried to find solutions that would work for her particular case.

So yeah, the only thing I would CASUALLY bring up in conversation is the makeup color. Otherwise, she's obviously tortured enough by this problem and doesn't need her closest friends saying that they notice.

Last edited by ms_mod; 03-01-2008 at 10:24 AM. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote. Ms_Mod

 
Old 03-06-2008, 06:48 PM   #7
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Unhappy Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

I don't think you should tell her anything Because I have facial hair (not a beard but a mustache.) And whenever my best friend says anything about it my self esteem goes down. And just today I herd a conversation about me and it was two boys.
Boy 1"Do you think she's pretty"
Boy 2"<I DON'T KNOW She has mustache"

When I herd that i just wanted to cry <BECAUSE> no one has been saying anything about it lately and here he goes and the bad part is that a boy I like was talking with them also and herd when he said that.

I hate it............

Last edited by ms_mod; 03-07-2008 at 09:12 AM. Reason: Replaced text message, chat room words with the proper words. Please follow the posting rules. Ms_Mod

 
Old 03-06-2008, 07:52 PM   #8
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PSusanp123 HB User
Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

Lovely, I have the same problem as you, but I quickly shave it off in the morning. Noone sees it anymore and no more comments. As sensitive as you are to the comments, I think this would be a good solution for you, too. And no, it hasn't grown back thicker or darker.

 
Old 03-08-2008, 01:16 PM   #9
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heady8676 HB User
Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

She shouldn't shave it. She should wax it off. When waxed it has to completely regrow. It won't show as soon. Sometimes waxing lessens regrowth. Give her the gift of a facial at a salon next chance you get. The technition will help her with this situation.

 
Old 03-11-2008, 07:42 AM   #10
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Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

Waxing never lessens female facial hair (except in some cases the brows). Waxing, tweezing, and other methods of ripping the hair out of the follicle can actually stimulate more growth, especially if there is an underlying hormone imbalance.

 
Old 03-14-2008, 01:44 PM   #11
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LovelyLove HB User
Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

Thanks i do shave and sometimes my friends that are girls look in the mirror and talk about there's and I really never knew they had 1 so when they say they have one it makes me feel better and then they say they can't even see mine (Because i shave it.)

 
Old 04-07-2008, 06:18 AM   #12
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want2seed HB User
Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

At least you notice it. A lot of girls I know have like a fuzz on their upper lip and I wanna say something but I can't...

I think most girls know too and they also think maybe if you shave it, it will grow back thicker?

 
Old 04-07-2008, 03:58 PM   #13
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Hillbillio HB User
Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

I told a friend of mine that she had a mustache once. She was a beautiful girl, but she had dark hair and you could notice it when you got up close to her.

She was ****** at first, but later thanked me. I was gentle about it and all.

 
Old 04-17-2008, 03:20 PM   #14
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TN Bell HB User
Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

I have had hair on my chin area for a long time and it it frustrating and embarrasing. I tried Electrolysis for a number of years and after a while that can be very expensive, but she DID take out the dark and light hair on my chin. After awhile I got tired doing that and I tried Laser. That only works on dark hair and the blond, grey, or white, you still have to deal with that either by shaving or pulling with twezers or hair removal creams. I have just gotten used to either shaving or twezing and tried to stop worring about it. Almost everyone has some hair in embarrasing places, or worse they have a bad birthmark or something. We aren't perfect or I really don't know anyone who is. Maybe I just developed something that is worse than having unwanted hair, as my hair on my head is now becoming very thin. Good luck and I hope you find an answer. God Bless!!

 
Old 04-18-2008, 06:20 PM   #15
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CDS75 HB User
Re: How to talk to a close friend about her beard...

You will hurt her if you say anything. It is not your place, or your right. I am sure there are things about you that are imperfect too. Would you like someone to point them out? If you are truly her friend stop talking about her behind her back and base your friendship on her personality, not her appearance.

 
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