My Sad Personal Story Regarding SHAVING Facial Hair (I'm a GIRL) - Hair Problems Message Board

justme17 · 04-14-2009, 08:22 PM

Hey guys i just wanted to share my story with you.

I'm 17 and female. I am brunette. I've been shaving the sides of my top lip for about 3 years.

It all started in year 9 when somebody came out with "ohh if i look at you from this angle i see you have a moustache!"... this came as a shock to the system and as soon as i got in from school that day i used my mums hair removal cream. it burnt my skin and i had a rash the next day and my mum knew in an instant what i'd done. it still didn't stop me from shaving with a razor once it grew back.

you have nooo idea how deeply i regret this day, i was so so so stupid. girls please DO NOT START SHAVING because to this day it has been on my mind 24/7. you get so paranoid thinking to yourselves 'oh my god, can anybody tell'. i honestly cannot keep eye contact with anybody for longer than a second and i hate non-artificial light because i feel it allows people to see me better.

how rediculous do i sound? this is only the start of it.

i shave EVERY night without fail. takes only a minute. i use warm water to dampen the part i'm going to shave, grab a disposable razor and rinse it and then do the job. i then wash my face as usual, cleanse it and then use a huge amount of moisturizer on the parts i've shaven.

i also moisturize first thing in the morning, repeatedly. it's a nightmare when it comes to putting on foundation in that area because the skin goes dry.

it's not 100% obvious i shave... i mean, the skin is smooth and there is no visable stubble. but i do not need to shave the whole thing, just part of each side. Therefore i have fine hairs around the center of my upper lip but not on the sides and i feel like this is visable. if this makes any sense?

anyway... i am so scared. Petrified infact. Scared that when i grow older i will have the stubble of a man and it will be COMPLETELY obvious that i do this. I know what you're thinking... JUST WAX IT. JUST BLEACH IT.

If only it was that simple! I've attempted wax once before... i ended up burning my skin and causing damage. I've never really let the hair grow because i've always shaved it without fail but i am guessing that if i just let it grow it would be extremely visable and rather coarse. therefore i think bleaching is out of the window because the individual hairs will be thick. they would be bleached, yes, but still somewhat visable because of their thickness? also waxing... if i let the hair grow, even if it will be thick, would i be able to get it waxed? i don't know if it will work because of the thickness it will be?

Moving on

Emotionally i am a wreck because of this. When people tell me i am pretty i secretly think "if only you knew the truth!". I am so so so self-conscious it is unreal. I would give anything to go back in time to that day in year 9 and stop myself. i feel like my life would be a hell of a lot better if i hadn't have done it. My mistake, i know, but i was young and felt forced to do something i didn't know anything about.

All i can say is... DON'T SHAVE. please. It's really made me feel so depressed.

anybody who is going to reply taking the mick please think twice.
thankyou for reading

Seraph · 04-15-2009, 01:25 AM

Don't beat yourself up over the shaving. I don't think it would have made any difference. I had lip hair all through my youth, I didn't shave it, but i plucked, waxed, the whole thing. It ruled my life. I know just how you feel. It was dark, and thick enough so that bleaching just gave me a blond moustache (no better). If you can afford any kind of permanent or semi permanent removal, go for it. There are natural honey-based waxes now that are easier on the skin. I always felt that even if it was freshly waxed, there was a dark shadow there. It finally started fading and thinning after I was about 40 (whoopdidoo!). The bane of my life!!! Sera.

justme17 · 04-15-2009, 01:19 PM

Thanks for the reply Sera

I've been looking on the internet and i gotta say... it's good to know they are other people with the same problem and I'm not the only one.

Audrey-B · 04-17-2009, 06:11 AM

Hi justme17 - i agree, don't beat yourself up over it, there is no point looking back as it doesn't fix a thing.

I was about 16 or 17 when i was out in the sunlight and my mother made a remark saying i had a few dark hairs on my chin and that i should do something about it. The way she said it you would have thought they were thick and black and obvious a mile off, but they weren't. They were extremely fine, but i was so hurt by her comment that i went straight into the house and plucked them out. It made it worse having my mother say it but then again she did have a habit of saying some very thoughtless things which she thought was nothing.

Once i began plucking there was no going back, then i tried bleaching, but bleach makes the hairs go yellow and they lose their softness and become more strong. Like hair which is overbleached.

Years later i began to get what looked like a tiny shadowy patch on the area where i'd been plucking as some of the hairs would become ingrown or multiply.

Along came the start of laser and i trusted a clinic and paid up to $1000 over one year for treatment, but it didn't work at all. Laser has come a long way since those days. But one good thing about the laser was that i met a lady who did elecstrolysis. The clinic would employ her to wax the hairs prior to being lasered (not sure they do that these days). She confided in me that people were complaining to her that the laser was not working. She told me electrolysis was real and permanent.

I put my trust in her and went to her office for a few electrolysis sessions. She was right, i began to see the hairs become softer and lighter and then one day no more hair. That was about 10 years ago and the hair has permanently gone.

I know the feeling of thinking everybody is looking at you. Now that the hairs are permanently gone and i don't have to carry a tweezer with me where ever i go it feels so liberating. I've come across women who have come into my work place or elsewhere and they have facial hair problems and it's more than obvious as they don't eve bother to conceal it. They must have great esteem!! I know i couldn't do that. I feel like telling them how i had the electrolysis and it worked, but i'd never embarrass them by drawing attention to the hairs.

For the electrolysis i simply had to let the hairs grow out a fraction. I'd bleach them or put lots of foundation on the area. I simply psyched myself up that a little bit of hair showing was worth getting rid of it forever.

Electrolysis is still available even though most people opt for laser. I never went back to laser but i'm sure if you post on here someone can help you out if you are interested in it. also the sooner you start doing something about it the sooner you will feel good about yourself again as i feel you aren't happy about having to do this daily routine day in and day out. So rather than feeling too bad, maybe focus on ways you can actually get rid of it forever.

barb70 · 04-25-2009, 02:08 PM

Stop in at a good salon where they do waxing and have it done professionally. It should last about a month. Any hairs that peek out use a tweezers. I've done this for years and see women doing it all the time.
Don't get into such a panic over this -- it's a very common thing with women. Doesn't hurt and the gal that cuts my hair once a month does it for me for $5.