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Old 12-19-2011, 11:43 AM   #1
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Shunner HB User
Worried about my mom

Hey

I'm frustrated by the fact that my mother's too damn proud to do anything about her symptoms.
She's 71, she SMOKES, and she's basically very active, and works a lot around the house and in the cellar, lifts around stuff, etc.

On the phone today when I phoned her she sounded like rats *** and told me that yesterday when carrying something she got such intense heart pain that it made her physically feel like puking, and she's still fatigued and still feels terrible today, and sleeps during the day.

Now. I KNOW she needs to see a doctor about this (especially because she's been telling me she's worried about being out of breath more than before in recent months too), I told her to go see a doctor but she's all "meh, it was only over exhersion" .. so she basically refuses. She's still feeling god awful and I'm scared about her, by the way she sounds over the phone God knows what could happen to her, for all i know she could drop dead in the night or get a serious heart attack in a few weeks and she refuses to do anything about it!

What can I do, also any ideas as to what exactly she could have? I am frustrated that she should act so childish about her own vulnerability by denying anything is wrong when it's plain to see!! But she's always been extremely over confident in herself and she's the type of person who will ignore things instead of confront them properly so she just thinks it's exhertion and it will go away. Still, she needs to stop smoking and see a doctor and get her heart checked but she refuses to do any of it. She even has the fake cigs I bought her that she won't smoke. I feel her arrogance will be her death. HELP.

 
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Old 12-19-2011, 05:36 PM   #2
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Jimmysyd HB UserJimmysyd HB User
Re: Worried about my mom

My mother was the same, and it lead to a heart attack and quadruple bypass, ever since she has spent sometimes months in hospital for various reasons over the years, and her quality of life is now confined to the house. Thus she is now depressed as well as being sick.

She now takes a total of 17 tablets each day for all her issues.

Most of the time, it's not arrogance of her thinking she will be fine. But it is a covering of fear of what they might find is wrong with her.

You are just going to have to be supportive and go with her if and when she does go to the doctor, and be her support. Worse thing you can do is send them to doctors and tests alone.

Trust me, if I knew back then, what I know now, then not only would my mothers life be happier, but my health also.

My mother smoked years ago, and she is now paying for that with late onset asthma in her life, and breathing and shortness of breath. Her lung function of bad.

Good luck with you mum, hope all goes well

 
Old 12-20-2011, 01:36 PM   #3
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Re: Worried about my mom

Hey

Thing is, she's extremely independent and strong willed and she doesn't need me to hold her hand in the doctor's office, but she does however need to see one. I'm tired of hearing her excuses every time I tell her she needs to get herself checked up (hasn't had a proper check up in at least a DECADE) all I get from her is apologetics. "Yeah I know's" (to change the subject, I know she won't go), it's funny because even she told me she's scared she might have the beginnings of something more serious yet she STILL refuses to go to the doctor. She just thinks that by ignoring it she can make the problem go away, even though she herself knows it's irrational.

Honestly, she's the kind of person that even if she got a heart attack because of HER OWN MISTAKE of not going to the doctor in time she'd still find a way to excuse herself like "it would have happened anyway bla bla bla" I'm tired of this. Any way to get her to GO? And once she goes, convince her to actually heed the doctor's advive? (I know in advance she won't...) I'm out of ideas. She's a grown woman, can't force her, like you said.

But at the same time I don't see why I have to pay the price for her own stupidity and take care of her when she could have warded it off by acting like an intelligent human being about it. As for me, I always go to the doctor the minute I have any concerns, better safe than sorry.

 
Old 12-20-2011, 03:11 PM   #4
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Jimmysyd HB UserJimmysyd HB User
Re: Worried about my mom

I am the same, off to the doctor if I have any worries. I had a Melanoma removed when I was young, it was a tiny little thing, got it early, small cut out and gone. Imagine if I left it, I might not be writing this as we speak.

 
Old 12-20-2011, 06:01 PM   #5
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Re: Worried about my mom

Totally, I know it's super important. I've never had anything serious, ever, thankfully.

 
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