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Old 08-29-2006, 04:02 PM   #1
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Daughter married Hep C guy

I'm new to all this stuff so I really would appreciate it if someone would help me to learn about this hepa C. My daughter just married a guy that has it. What are the risks that come along with the disorder? Regardless, of what the risks are I never want him to think that I'm shunning him. But I would like to know what to expect. I have 2 other children 16, 10 y/o boys. They really like spending time w/their brother-in-law and thats ok with me. I do know that he isn't getting any kinda treatment for it. He said he could never afford it. My daughter is putting him on her insurance ASAP and hope-fully the insurance company will take him. He told my daughter that he got hepa C from his tongue ring. Although, he has personally told me that he use to be a IV drug user and that he's done everything you could possibly think of. He has several tattoos, eye brow ring, tongue ring and ears piersed. I'm just wondering if I need to be silently guarding my other children or what? My husband is really worried about all this more than me and I'd like some input from ya'll to tell my husband wether it is good or bad. When my daughter made the decision to be with this guy she also was saying that no matter what its ok that you have hep C and I'm willing to take the chance of getting it also. And what about their children if they ever have any? Thanks ahead of time for your replies. I'm not throwing stones at anyone. I am just wondering what I need to do if anything or how to react and what to expect.

 
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Old 08-29-2006, 08:22 PM   #2
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Re: Daughter married Hep C guy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty39
I'm new to all this stuff so I really would appreciate it if someone would help me to learn about this hepa C. My daughter just married a guy that has it. What are the risks that come along with the disorder? Regardless, of what the risks are I never want him to think that I'm shunning him. But I would like to know what to expect. I have 2 other children 16, 10 y/o boys. They really like spending time w/their brother-in-law and thats ok with me. I do know that he isn't getting any kinda treatment for it. He said he could never afford it. My daughter is putting him on her insurance ASAP and hope-fully the insurance company will take him. He told my daughter that he got hepa C from his tongue ring. Although, he has personally told me that he use to be a IV drug user and that he's done everything you could possibly think of. He has several tattoos, eye brow ring, tongue ring and ears piersed. I'm just wondering if I need to be silently guarding my other children or what? My husband is really worried about all this more than me and I'd like some input from ya'll to tell my husband wether it is good or bad. When my daughter made the decision to be with this guy she also was saying that no matter what its ok that you have hep C and I'm willing to take the chance of getting it also. And what about their children if they ever have any? Thanks ahead of time for your replies. I'm not throwing stones at anyone. I am just wondering what I need to do if anything or how to react and what to expect.

I'm much more worried about the fact that he has not come clean to your daughter about his past than I am about his hep c. I have hep c and have raised several children, am now raising twin baby girls--a second family, as the saying goes, altlhough we all consider ourselves one big family--and no one has caugth anything from me. But, they could, there is some small risk. this is reality. the risks of transmission through sex are small, but it seems that they are not zero. the risks to the children are unimaginably small. In all the research on hep c, I do not ever remember reading of a cross-generational transmission, nor any family contagion except through unsafe sex.
hep c is a serious bug if you get it, but it seems--from my readings at least--to be not so easy to catch, so your daughter's gamble on this one is not insane, but not trivial either. maybe reasonable if that's all there were to it.

BUT, this man has engaged in behaviors that carry a risk of HIV, other heps such as hep b, and so on. I am very worried to think that he has not been completely open with your daughter about all this. she has the right to know, and to --for just one obvious example--insist on only very safe sex if she has the slightest worry, and so on.

Or, forget sex--doesn't this pattern suggest he is willing to risk her health to cover his own embarassment? what does this say about him and their marriage? well, i'm sticking my nose way into where I have no right to go, so if you have stopped reading by now I don't blame you. But at least I am telling it as I believe it to be.

as to insurance, he may get coverage, but there will no doubt be some long waiting period before pre-existing conditions will be covered. And, as you may know by now, treatments for hcv are uncertain, very hard to take for many patients, and often the course of treatment is abandoned before completion because the side effects are so bad. And then, for those who finish, there is only a slightly better than 50/50 chance of viral clearance (unless he is lucky and has one of the susceptible genotypes of hcv.)
In other words, there is every chance that he will carry this virus for a very long time. She should know this. I'll bet he hasn't explained it all to her. I would bet a very large amount of money that he hasn't.

My wife knew I had hep c before we married, knew that I had almost certainly gotten it from IV drug use, also knew that I had been tested--twice--for hiv and been cleared of that worry, and so on. In other words, we talked these things through pretty thoroughly. She had her own difficult revelations to make to me, as all couples will discover, and the whole set of conversations was among the best we ever had. It certainly brought us closer, as well as communicated some pretty important info.

Maybe your son in law wants to be open; maybe that's why he told you stuff you could not possibly keep from your daughter (no, you can't--either he tells her, or you do. And if he does, you'd better verify what he says to her against what he said to you.) He must know that this information will worry a mother, and even more so a father, and something will crack. I hope so--that is, I hope that happens, and I hope that's why he was driven to reveal himself to you.

anyway, I don't think your problem is hep c--that is controllable, and in lucky cases reversible. Your problem is that this fellow hasn't yet faced up to what it means to be a life partner of, and a loving protective husband for, your daughter.

first things first.

my opinion only, for sure.

I sure wish you luck wth this.

sean

 
Old 08-30-2006, 08:35 AM   #3
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Re: Daughter married Hep C guy

Thanks for the reply sean....All I know is that I got information one day that he had hep c and I called her at work and had her come home. We discussed it and she got on the internet searching for a little while. I told her that she needed to get checked. She told me she had not had sex with him and that she would go to the doctor. She questioned him about it that evening and he started to cry because he said he wanted to tell her before anyone else did. At the time I told her she had been seeing him approxiamately 3 months or so. Again she was a teenager 19 and told me she wasn't having sex. I knew she was still a virgin at age 18 but I slowly lost that line of communication and she just wouldn't talk with me about it so it's possible that she was having sex with him. Anyways, she said the doctor told her not too worry and that the chances for her to get it were in the millionths. Just not very likely. As for him, he only told here he got it from the tongue ring itself. What do you think? Was it most likely the IV drug using? I've tried to talk to her about contraceptives before she married him and even since shes been married so totally does not want to talk about it and says shes NOT going to talk the pill. Seems as though she just gonna take her chances and might or might not get pregnant. She isn't going to use anything I guess. On the other hand, do you think because she won't talk about it that they may be using condoms because they actually know the risk and just won't tell me. Sorry to throw all this at once. Just wanting to know more. Thanks for listening all.

 
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Old 08-30-2006, 02:00 PM   #4
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Re: Daughter married Hep C guy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty39
Thanks for the reply sean....All I know is that I got information one day that he had hep c and I called her at work and had her come home. We discussed it and she got on the internet searching for a little while. I told her that she needed to get checked. She told me she had not had sex with him and that she would go to the doctor. She questioned him about it that evening and he started to cry because he said he wanted to tell her before anyone else did. At the time I told her she had been seeing him approxiamately 3 months or so. Again she was a teenager 19 and told me she wasn't having sex. I knew she was still a virgin at age 18 but I slowly lost that line of communication and she just wouldn't talk with me about it so it's possible that she was having sex with him. Anyways, she said the doctor told her not too worry and that the chances for her to get it were in the millionths. Just not very likely. As for him, he only told here he got it from the tongue ring itself. What do you think? Was it most likely the IV drug using? I've tried to talk to her about contraceptives before she married him and even since shes been married so totally does not want to talk about it and says shes NOT going to talk the pill. Seems as though she just gonna take her chances and might or might not get pregnant. She isn't going to use anything I guess. On the other hand, do you think because she won't talk about it that they may be using condoms because they actually know the risk and just won't tell me. Sorry to throw all this at once. Just wanting to know more. Thanks for listening all.


Hi again,

don't know the answers to almost anything you asked this time. as I said, I am much more worried about the fact that he hasn't told your daughter everything she has a right to know--and this goes way beyond hep c. the fact of his prior IV drug use, especially, is something she has a right to hear immediately. then, he'd better get tested for HIV, hep b, and anything else a needle can carry. (yes, i think this route of transmission is much more high risk than piercings or tatoos--not to minimize those, but iv drug use sticks the point right into the vein, every time.)

My wife and I decided to have babies, meaning no condoms for a LONG time (we are both past the age when girls get pregnant just from jumping into the back seat of someone's car!). but that was her conscious choice (and yes, i had by then been tested for everything we could think of, so she knew her risk was restricted to hep c). We have beautiful twin girls now, and I would be the last to say this is 'improper' behavior for a married couple, but she knew what she was dealing with--her choice was a free, informed choice. this cannot be true for your girl until he has (or you have) told her all she has a need to know.

again, i am more concerned for the character this implies, than for the 'danger' from the hep virus and unprotected sex. Your daughter has the right, the need to know.

As a former IV drug user myself, I am completely unsympathetic to a man who would seek to hide this from, would seek to fool, the woman he claims to love. This is judgmental--I have no right to speak this way, I'm sure. But you asked, so there ya go. Sorry.

Intervene, Mom. This is not going right.


as i said before. just one man's opinion.


sean

Last edited by sean; 08-30-2006 at 02:03 PM.

 
Old 08-30-2006, 05:05 PM   #5
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Re: Daughter married Hep C guy

Thanks again sean. I really appreciate ALL the knowledge and opinions you have told me. I don't know if it would even matter if I find out anything about him that she doesn't know and then tell her. Seems like he has just done something to her. I just can't figure it out. They don't seem like they are IN LOVE. You know the way we felt when we were younger. This is not that kinda love/impression I'm picking up from them. My husband even said that they act as though they are roommates or just friends out in the open when they are around people. Of course, you don't want them hanging all over each other and not being able to control themselves. But there's just something not quite right. We put her a trailor right below me but wouldn't deed her and him the land because we just not sure about him. Anyway, we hardly ever see her. She won't stop by here on her way home from work or where shes going/gone. She has to drive right by my house to get on the Hwy.We have a private road. This may sound stupid but we even tossed it around in our heads that maybe HE's just trying to get a better place to live for him and his mom. His mom hasn't moved in with them yet but they did talk about it at first and I said No Way. Ya'll don't need anyone living with ya this soon in your marriage. They were really really poor and the standard of living just wasn't high. Not that mine is any better. We do have some land and house but it cost too. Ya know what I mean. I did clear enough land off for her to put a trailor on and try and start her life. I had rather her be here where I can atleast see her than off some other place. Then again she never stops by. HAHA I didn't put the trailor where it could be seen from my house I did give them a little privacy. Thanks for listening I know I just keep rambling on.

 
Old 08-31-2006, 04:01 PM   #6
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Re: Daughter married Hep C guy

My father-in-law doesn't know it, but his daughter married a Hep-C guy. We've been together 21 years (married 18). I was diagnosed 6 years ago, but likely had it at least for 30 years. We had sex all that time (well, not recently, we're headed towards divorce). She's been tested a couple times, and hasn't shown any level of HCV.

We have an absolutely wonderful 10-year old daughter. We haven't had her tested, but there's no reason to think she should have the virus. I use my own toothbrushes, and try to keep them away from her.

After much initial research, I decided the interferon route was not how I wanted to treat my body (let's ignore how I probably got it in the first place when I was young). I've researched, and tried a number of natural 'remedies'. Regardless of the hype, they won't 'cure' HCV. But certain ones helped so much with symptoms, that it's a health problem I hardly think about anymore - a 'managed' complication, and little more.

If responsibility finally hits 'pierced tongue', then I and others can point to effective (and far cheaper than interferon if insurance doesn't cover it) ways to manage it and live a fairly normal life.

Remkey88

 
Old 08-31-2006, 07:14 PM   #7
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Re: Daughter married Hep C guy

Nice to hear from you, I'm so sorry about the divorce. Wish you both the best at whatever it is you want. Well, I'm not real sure when responsibility will hit him, I'm afraid he has a long way to go to mature. She is just so naive that I think she just blocks everything out (including what I say) that she just doesn't want to think about it or anything the disorder may bring along with it.

Wishing you the very best and thanks for the reply

 
Old 09-08-2006, 12:01 AM   #8
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Re: Daughter married Hep C guy

Just wondering is type C the same as non A non B? When I was 8 years old I came down with that but that seemed impossible since the doctors said it was more likely with drug users. Well I did indeed have it. They later found out that i got it from the allergy shots that I took every week. Back the they didn't use disposible needles. So there i was just a kid and got it. I was in the Hospital for almost a year and then I destroyed my blood counts. I missed out on about 4 years of my life because of it. I'm now 31 years old so god must of been with me because all of the doctors told my parents I was dieing, but here I am. Have a wife and two kids. I can tell you alot about Hep. I was told by the doctors that the only way to get it was through needles but that was years ago so that may have changed.

 
Old 09-08-2006, 10:01 AM   #9
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Re: Daughter married Hep C guy

Hey,
HepC Is next to impossible to get through sexual contact--I have been married to man with HCV for 30 years, we raised 5 kids together and none of us have it. Before his diagnosis I would sneak his razor to shave with and I even used his toothbrush more than a few times...both things they'll tell you are no-no's. I too would be far more concerned about the fact this guy does not seem very honest with your daughter, but as far as her contracting the disease, it's very, very unlikely. It is, though, absolutely imperative that he not drink alcohol. Alcohol will kill him faster than anything. His drs will have given him the "talk", no doubt about liquor in ANY form. My hubby would be long gone if he'd been a drinker, but he doesn't drink at all and never did.
And, to whomever asked, non A-non B hepatits is Hep C, they didn't have a name for it for a long while. It's a nasty virus. Your son in law should be checked at least every 5 years and shouldn't drink and should probably ease up on the body piercings. One thing that has begun to rear it's ugly head in people with HCV of long standing (25+ years) is liver cancer-something drs are seeing more and more. My own hubby is currently awaiting a liver transplant because the HCV finally "flared" into full liver failure, along with cancer. While many many people will die "with HCV" not of it, some will go out and drink themselves into an early grave or even develop liver cancer due to NO fault of their own.

 
Old 01-13-2007, 11:06 AM   #10
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Re: Daughter married Hep C guy

You can't get it sexually. Me and my husband are both positive and only the mother can pass it to their children while pregnant. Even then there is only a five percent chance. I am lucky . My son does not have it. It also depends on how much virus you have at the time that you are carrying the child. They should not share razors or tooth brushes. That is about it.

 
Old 01-14-2007, 11:05 AM   #11
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Re: Daughter married Hep C guy

Quote:
Originally Posted by mvvette97 View Post
Just wondering is type C the same as non A non B? When I was 8 years old I came down with that but that seemed impossible since the doctors said it was more likely with drug users. Well I did indeed have it. They later found out that i got it from the allergy shots that I took every week. Back the they didn't use disposible needles. So there i was just a kid and got it. I was in the Hospital for almost a year and then I destroyed my blood counts. I missed out on about 4 years of my life because of it. I'm now 31 years old so god must of been with me because all of the doctors told my parents I was dieing, but here I am. Have a wife and two kids. I can tell you alot about Hep. I was told by the doctors that the only way to get it was through needles but that was years ago so that may have changed.

Until they had positively identified the newer virus, all hep C cases, IF they were detected at all, were called 'non-a, non-b.' for many of us this was the way we first heard we had anything at all.

sean

Last edited by sean; 01-14-2007 at 11:05 AM.

 
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