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my child got herpes.....

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Old 11-14-2003, 12:30 PM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Florida
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esam HB User
my child got herpes.....

hi - i wanted to share this story with people because i need to talk about it with someone. i have an 18 month old little girl who has always had rashes since she was little - she seems to be sensitive to several foods so when she wound up having a really bad diaper rash early this year we treated it like we usually did and waited for it to clear up. when it didn't i took her to the dr who decided to take a swab of one of the open sores for some reason - he said he did it out of habit, kinda, cause he was used to doing that type of thing with adults. he told me what the swab would detect (herpes) but that he didn't think it would come back positive. well turns out it was herpes. i have never been so upset in my life. my little girl! finding out it was herpes then led to a test to find out which one it was - type 1 or 2. this also led to having Children & Youth interview both my husband and i cause they had to look into potential child abuse. my child had only been out of my sight for just a few times - at the gym and at a mother's group held at a church. to make a long story short - it was determined it was type 1 (the mouth sore type, right?) - and we figure someone had changed her diaper and wiped her maybe after touching the open and contagious sore on their mouth which in turn spread the virus all over her bottom. now when she gets open sores on her bottom we have to give her Acyclovir. she cries out "owie owie owie!!" because when she goes to the bathroom in her diaper it hurts her so. she is so innocent in this all it breaks my husbands' and my heart that she has to go thru it and deal with it for the rest of her life. i feel as a parent i should have been able to protect her from something like this. i've discussed with the dr's how it could have passed to her - wouldn't the person with the cold sores have known they were contagious? he said that in order for her have had the virus transmitted to her bottom like that the person who changed her would have had to have been in a contagious stage of the virus and known they had the herpes. we will never know who exactly passed this virus on to her. but she is soooo young to have to deal with it. i can only hope during her lifetime that maybe a cure can be found. thank you for letting me talk about this. i can only imagine how it must affect people older and then being sexually active too.

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Old 11-14-2003, 12:52 PM   #2
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jgurl1976 HB User
I have type one (mouth) also down there. I got it from my boyfriend who had a cold sore and preformed oral sex. I had NO CLUE that could have happend. My boyfriend didnt either. I felt really stupid when I went to the Dr. to have it cultured. There is some good news regarding that type down there. It is usually less severe, and you have less outbreaks. Ive had it over 3 yr now and on 2 outbreaks including my first. The second one was brought on by stress of buying a house. Did the Dr. give valtrex? Im not ssure kids can take it but if they can it needs to be given if she still has the sore. I was told by my OB GNY that if you catch the 1st outbreak soon enough and dose it w/ valtrex you have a better chance of having less outbreaks. Hope this helps.
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Old 11-14-2003, 01:13 PM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2003
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notsobad HB User
Esam....your story actually brought tears to my eyes when I read it. How sad that she has to endure such pain at a young age and can't even understand why. That sounds like someone has been really careless with her...perhaps at the day care. It sounds weird...what were they doing....touching her privates...I have changed babies before and don't remember having to actually touch them to change them...will add a prayer for her....perhaps since she is so young it will "burn out" by the time she is a little older and won't have to struggle with it forever....right now she is so young and too weak to really fight it off...that's really sad though..hang in there.

Old 11-14-2003, 03:57 PM   #4
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besafe20 HB User

I am so sorry about your little girl. That is most unusual! I caught herpes 1 down there from oral sex. I had no idea that could happen. That ordeal was 2 years ago for me but I want to share some important information. I spent a great deal speaking with the herpes hotline which I suggest you call. They told me that when the herpes virus is spread it is by sexual contact only. meaning direct contact with the sore. I asked if I could have gotten the herpes 1 down there by someone touching me with their hands or if I had it on my mouth and touched myself down there and if it could be spread that way. They said no. They told me that when oral herpes is found below the waist it is always from oral contact. I know that is disgusting to hear but you should know. Please call the herpes hotline they are great at answering questions and know more then family doctors. I know this because my family doctor was the one who suggested I spread it to myslef! The specialists said it wasn't the case and they were right beause according to my blood tests my immune system showed an immediate response meaning I did not have it before.

Old 11-14-2003, 06:03 PM   #5
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hb2002 HB User
I can't see how the herpes hotline could suggest that genital herpes has to have been caused by oral sex. If someone has a cold sore, touched it with their finger and then touched the babies bottom while diapering her, I would think that the virus could be transmitted that way. I can't see why transmission has to be through oral sex. Granted, it is probably the way it usually is transmitted, but people have had a cold sore and touched themself in the genital area and had an O/B of Herpes 1 in their own genital area therefore transmitting the virus from oral to genital.
With babies, there is always a concern of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, an 18 month old is unable to tell you what happened. I would watch for changes in her behaviour and possibly other signs such as vaginal or oral herpes. You might also want to ask some of the other parents who may have left their babies with the same caregivers if their baby has an "unusual rash", without disclosing that your daughter has herpes. Also keep your eyes open for someone who has a cold sore. But as much as sexual abuse is going to be on your mind, I will tell you that I have also seen people give a babies bottom a kiss (non sexual) just because they are so soft,

Old 11-15-2003, 08:50 AM   #6
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backpacker HB Userbackpacker HB User
I believe the herpes hotline is wrong. I have read (as all of us who have been on this board a while) too many stories of people who have self-transmitted the virus from one place on the body to another, or people who have never had sexual experiences ending up with it. This is a germ, and even though it dies quickly, it can be passed along under certain conditions.

The herpes counsellor that I went to several years ago told me that herpes had been cultured off of wet towels and washcloths (not off of dry ones.) This indicates that if someone uses a damp towel which another person with a coldsore has just wiped over his/her mouth, the former could contract the virus. therefore, I use one certain pattern of towel and washcloth which nobody else in my family uses (I have genital h, not oral, but the precautions would apply to both.)

As for the daycare personnel, you may have noticed that most people with cold sores do not understand exactly what it is (that it is indeed herpes!,) how prevalent it is, or how easily it can be transmitted to other parts of the body. It is not really their fault; why isn't this basic healthcare information covered in school health classes? Also, as we all know here, the person with the herpes does NOT need to be showing symptoms to be contagious; I can't understand why your doctor isn't better informed, as reports and studies of asymptomatic viral shedding have been available for years. Many people pass herpes on without even knowing they have it! And many people are in denial.

I can imagine someone with a cold at the daycare, perhaps with a sore and perhaps not, wiping her nose and immediately after changing your child's diaper, perhaps patting her bottom (nonsexually), as most of us mothers have done, playing with the baby while changing her, and unwittingly passing on the infection because her hands were still damp and the baby was susceptible due to a little diaper rash. There is always the chance of sexual abuse, but considering the ignorance concerning this virus, that is certainly not the only possibility.

Good luck. Keep reading on this board for suggestions as to how to make the outbreaks more bearable.

Last edited by backpacker; 11-15-2003 at 08:51 AM.

Old 11-15-2003, 09:25 AM   #7
Join Date: Nov 2003
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esam HB User
thanks for your replies

i appreciate the responses i've received from my initial post. i am hoping by sharing what happened that i'll either find a way to help my child with her outbreaks or at least share with people how easily it can be spread (nonsexually) to others around you - and esp children.

i agree that i do not think that the type 1 herpes she received on her bottom was transmitted sexually. i also think it was accidental tho it still makes me angry and extremely upset that it happened at all. i believe it could have even be transferred from the worker wiping another child's bottom and then not washing her hands well enough and going on to change my child's diaper. anything is possible and the tough part is we will never really know where she got it or who gave it to her.

the hard part with her being so young is that it just raises so many questions as she gets older - like do we tell her teachers as she goes into nursery school? babysitters? is it better to treat the outbreak or give her medicine that suppresses the outbreak? (right now we give her Aciclovir to treat the outbreak cause otherwise we'd be giving her meds everyday - i guess the dr wanted to see how many outbreaks she'd be prone to having - as of right now she's had it since Jan and has had 7 or 8) we have a new babysitter coming tonight and i will sit her down and talk to her about it. i'd rather have her be prepared and possibly decide not to want to babysit the kids because of my one child having herpes than to find out later that she got it because we didn't do enough.

thanks for your help and for listening

Old 11-15-2003, 10:46 AM   #8
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hb2002 HB User
I have heard the wet towel theory before and someone on this board said they had actually gotten the virus that way.

I also don't share towels with anyone, wash my hands constantly and even carry one of those antibacterial gels bottles that you can use anywhere to wash your hands without needing water. (they're wonderful).

I also have a two month old grandson and before I will even pick him up, I wash and disinfect my hands. Actually my daughter has bottles of this disinfectant gel throughout the house, in her diaper bag, and in her car because you can never be too sure if the person picking up the baby has washed properly. She has recently started to slack off on this hand washing ritual she has made people go through, but I have told her that herpes can easily be spread, as well as other germs, so hopefully she will still be as diligent as she has been in the past. However, once he is at daycare etc, you no longer have control over who is touching your child.

Because I have two large dogs and spend a lot of time in dog parks and picking up my dogs poop, I immediately wash my hands with this gel before I even touch my own steering wheel. However, you wouldn't believe how many people play with dogs, rub some bellies of the other dogs in the park, pick up a slimy tennis ball which has been in 10 dogs mouths and throw it for the dogs to catch, pick up their dogs poop and then after all this think nothing of picking up their child, touch their childs face, give them a kiss and then pick up the child and put them in the car. It's done without thinking. But I am fairly sure I read that dogs can get herpes as well and if the dog is having an outbreak then perhaps it can be transmitted to humans. Again, I'm not 100% sure about dogs having herpes but I do recall briefly scanning a posting from a woman who's dog has herpes and she was wondering if the dog will need to have a c-section.

As more and more people have the virus, I think the chances of passing it on in a non sexual mannner are becoming more and more prevelant. I'll bet that if someone has a cold sore, and shares a soda straw with someone, that person could end up having cold sores as well. It's pretty scary. Very scary when you think how easily it can be passed on to a baby or child completely innocently.

Last edited by hb2002; 11-15-2003 at 10:49 AM.

Old 11-15-2003, 12:56 PM   #9
Join Date: Oct 2003
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zebra1 HB User
I am so sorry for your sweet little girls situation.I would look into going to see a naturopathic or homeopathic doctor and try different remedies for prevention of outbreaks and even possibly treatment of outbreaks.Olive Leaf extract is apparently a huge immune booster and has worked to suppress outbreaks for many.Foods as you know by now trigger outbreaks,chocolate,pop,almonds,even oranges and I believe it is foods high in lysine that are to be avoided or kept to a minimum.Major tip,*EpsomSalts*,when she gets a outbreak try a bath with alot of these salts in it,they pull toxins out of the body but most importantly they are very DRYING.I have heard that this helps to soothe and dry the sores quickly.So 2-4 quick 5-10 min. soaks a day w/ salts would be recommended.A few drops of extra virgin olive oil and or jojoba oil in the bath will help speed the healing of her skin.

Old 11-17-2003, 10:06 PM   #10
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oceandreams HB User

Last edited by oceandreams; 11-18-2003 at 05:56 AM.

Old 11-17-2003, 10:14 PM   #11
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oceandreams HB User
Originally Posted by zebra1
Olive Leaf extract is apparently a huge immune booster and has worked to suppress outbreaks for many.
I can vouch for olive leaf extract. I used it over a year ago when I had an active cold sore on my lip, and it went away quickly, and I haven't had another one since (I used to get them 2 or 3 times a year). I took olive leaf extract capsules everyday for about a month, and also used olive leaf ointment on the blister itself. The brand I used was d-Lenolate, made by East Park Research (you can find it on the net).

Old 11-20-2003, 09:55 AM   #12
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hairjewels HB User
Re: my child got herpes.....

I started on olive leaf this year. My last outbreak was in January 2003. I recently ran out of olive leaf and now I have an outbreak. When I felt an outbreak coming on, I took more than normal. I take 2 capsules/ 3 x a day.

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