Test Results came today - Herpes Message Board

MyRealName · 11-14-2003, 08:13 PM

Were positive, so say the first test(I say "we" since we are one). Here’s the story. I being the husband, have always has the cold sores but only maybe 2 in a year ever since I was little. We went to Disney World for 2 weeks and towards the end of our time there wife started getting what we thought was case of yeast infection but with really nowhere to get the yeast infection medicine. We held out till we got home. When we got home we did buy Walmart brand yeast infection medicine. Wife started to hurt even more. Then a few days later see had me look. In the lips of her vagina I saw what looked like cracking like what you get from athletes foot. A couple of days later we took her to the doctor. Which he took a swab and gave her some medicine that starts with a “Z” just in case of herpes then we waited a few days more. The nurse called today and said she was positive. We don’t know what type.
Now from what I’m thinking, when we were on the trip and 6 months before I did not have and cold sores on my mouth but when she was in pain and after we got back I did develop what I thought was a sun blister and a few canker sores between the gum and teeth. I thought they were nothing really big for me since they were what I call small and not bad. I’m pretty sure I gave it to her maybe a while back ago since we have oral sex every time we engage. And I’m thinking we did do it while I had a OB on my lip.
So question is, what now?? Go get more tests?? And can we ever have oral sex again??

backpacker · 11-15-2003, 04:22 PM

Wow. Isn't it crazy how the health dept and the schools don't teach people about how contagious h is, and how easily it is passed on through oral sex? (I keep saying that in my posts because someday I want someone to respond,"I'm a school superintendent, and from now on this will be taught in my school!")

Having more tests is up to you. I myself have never been tested. I know I have herpes, I know where I have it(genitally) and where I do not (orally), I know how to take care of myself, and I know how to have the best chance to avoid spreading it. What could a test tell me? But if having a test gives you some knowledge or reassurance you need, then do it.

My herpes-free partner and I engage in oral sex (yuck to a life that doesn't include that!) and regular intercourse without condoms. We have been together 12 years. Although the virus can stay dormant for years and years, we don't believe he has ever contracted it; for one thing, he is a diabetic and probably would show it if he has it, due to a weaker-than-normal immune system. He washes his genital area immediately after we have intercourse. I don't think he has always washed his mouth after oral sex, but we don't do that every time. I tend to listen very closely to my body and will not have sex at all if I feel anything suspicious; he is always very supportive of me and sympathetic, so I don't feel nervous or guilty if I need to tell him we can't have sex for a bit. (Actually, I do feel a little guilty anyway, but know that's kind of an automatic response.)

Some people say that suppressive therapy is supposed to protect your partner, but I've read several stories that indicate that this is not true. My feeling is that suppressive therapy would mess up my own body's signals to me and I wouldn't be able to tell as well when I was contagious (and these signals include tingling, muscle aches, a tiny pulsing near my usual sites, and others that don't always lead to sores), and therefore he would not be as well- protected.

For more on our story and other couples' stories, as well as suggestions on how to keep from spreading the virus to other parts of your body and her body, check out the whole "Happy Couples" thread recently bumped up by mra (I think.) Also find the garlic oil thread, becuase it is very soothing and healing for most people, not to mention inexpensive.

backpacker · 11-15-2003, 04:32 PM

I had just posted the above and wanted to edit it to add that the next thing to do, really, is to be very loving and supportive of each other, to remove stress from your lives as much as possible, and to eat well, exercise, and avoid cigarettes...when suddenly the message said I was banned. Right after I posted! This crazy board! So now I'm testing.

bailey1022 · 11-16-2003, 04:02 PM

Myrealname, I just wanted to share with you I also received hsv1 from oral sex. My partner gets 1-2 cold sores a year and at the time we had sex he showed no signs of an outbreak. He was crushed to know he gave it to me, not knowing it could be transmitted downthere. I am taking Valtrex every day for one year and my doctor says we'll see if I need to continue after that. Its all on a case by case basis. I have had only one outbreak, the first, and since then I have developed one in my mouth. I hope your wife stays positive and you will be able to support each other this, its not the end of the world even thought it might feel like it today. Stay strong and keep asking questions.

MyRealName · 11-17-2003, 10:36 PM

Feeling much better today as we will live through this. Were not really thinking about it anymore. I'm sure that if she breaks out again or me then we will start thinking it's a problem. "It's just a bump in the road!"