I'm in a loveless marriage for the past 1.5yrs. we sort of both have given up...I think we're going to finish raising the kids, and then be done. We were both very young in the beginning, some 20 yrs. ago. I needed him more @ first and now, not @ all. I've changed. I began an outside relationship about 11 mo. ago, perhaps longing for comfort and closeness of another human being. Low and behold 9 mo. into the relationship, I have my 1st. OB, much to my shock, fear, disgust and every other negative adjective, that can be thought of. I was devastated. I saw my OB-GYN, who did a swab and confirmed H via phone, 2 days later. He (my - secret thrill) also confirmed his, with a bloodwork test. He said he was Dx. w/it., some 13yrs. prior, but stayed in denial or didn't trust the clinic. Anyway, I'm trying to find happiness again, even though the H will always be there. I haven't tried the garlic oil...Does it prevent OB and maintain flare-ups?? I'm noticing a tingling sensation on one side, does this indicate another flare-up? I'm suppose to start my period next week..Is it back already???? Start Valtrax again try garlic/oil or what???? I'd appreciate any advice. Also, Backpacker, I hope you read this and advise. I've read the boards for about a month and find your attitude and advice uplifting! Please continue. -Orn.
Some people feel that taking garlic orally (fresh or in pill form) helps them avoid ob's. I haven't found this to be true for me. But the garlic oil/ oral garlic combination has helped soothe my ob's, and helped them heal faster. Right now (you may have read in other threads) I am taking more garlic orally and using some olive leaf extract, too. My period just started today, so we'll find out soon if I've warded off an ob. (Yes! The hormone fluctuations around your period definitely start this thing off!) The best thing to do is to start trying anything that sounds reasonable and that would fit in with your lifestyle, budget, and self-concept.
Usually that tingling means the virus has become active. I think it is a warning, and you have a chance to ward off an ob, perhaps by getting lots of sleep, trying to reduce stress, starting the garlic treatments, or whatever. What you don't want to do is irritate the area by searching, poking, and prodding a lot. Try to enjoy life and take it easy if you can--I'm not saying you can, with children and a marriage gone wrong! (By the way--my story is very similar to yours, but finally my husband and I separated. In our case, it was better for the children, because we fought a lot. Another difference--I got the h from my ex, not from my affair. But I believe I understand quite a bit of where you are, and how difficult a position it is.)
I don't know anything about Valtrex. Suppression isn't my thing, nor is taking medication every day. Some people seem to respond well to it; others don't. I think that is just another personal decision you have to make. I like to know my body, know what's happening...I have this feeling that using suppressive therapy would mask the signs that I've learned to pay attention to, the signs that have helped me protect my partner from contracting it.
You probably have realized that, if you do happen to have sex still with your husband, you must tell him, because he has the right to protect himself. But since herpes can lay dormant for many many years, you don't have to mention your secret love, if that is too difficult (or dangerous.) But maybe that's a moot point.
I'm sorry I didn't write back sooner. I saw your post yesterday, but wanted to have time to write you a good answer, without one of my boys hurrying me off the computer (it's theirs, not mine--they paid for it!) I know the realization that you have herpes and that it is (probably--I said probably, nonexist!) for the rest of your life is a harsh blow. But remember to get on with your life, do the things you love, enjoy your children (how many?), keep learning new things, and be the best person you can. Your life doesn't have to revolve around herpes, and you are still you. (I read recently that when Christopher Reeve saw his wife for the first time after being paralyzed, she told him she was in it with him no matter what, because "you are still you." Makes you think that we can do all right with just this little virus, huh? Also that he chose a good lifemate.)
This teaches us all to take care of our bodies! Yes, backpacker, please continue your positive approach! I am trying! I went to a yoga class tonight and it felt good! I'm just getting over my first break up of a brief relationship because of H. I don't think I miss him because I didn't know him that well only after 7 weeks. He didn't know me very well.
I am divorced over 13 years and I am really ready for a relationship now and this has to happen! It's difficult enough to meet people especially once you get older. I am 51! I won't give up because I don't want to be alone!
Have a good weekend!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ornament
Well, here's my story.....
I'm in a loveless marriage for the past 1.5yrs. we sort of both have given up...I think we're going to finish raising the kids, and then be done. We were both very young in the beginning, some 20 yrs. ago. I needed him more @ first and now, not @ all. I've changed. I began an outside relationship about 11 mo. ago, perhaps longing for comfort and closeness of another human being. Low and behold 9 mo. into the relationship, I have my 1st. OB, much to my shock, fear, disgust and every other negative adjective, that can be thought of. I was devastated. I saw my OB-GYN, who did a swab and confirmed H via phone, 2 days later. He (my - secret thrill) also confirmed his, with a bloodwork test. He said he was Dx. w/it., some 13yrs. prior, but stayed in denial or didn't trust the clinic. Anyway, I'm trying to find happiness again, even though the H will always be there. I haven't tried the garlic oil...Does it prevent OB and maintain flare-ups?? I'm noticing a tingling sensation on one side, does this indicate another flare-up? I'm suppose to start my period next week..Is it back already???? Start Valtrax again try garlic/oil or what???? I'* appreciate any advice. Also, Backpacker, I hope you read this and advise. I've read the boards for about a month and find your attitude and advice uplifting! Please continue. -Orn.
Thanks soooo much for your reply, I was beginning to think I gave too many details of my situtation. And that perhaps people were judging me and my chosen lifestyle. I'm determined to find happiness. I feel like, I lost sight of myself, found pleasure in a outside relationship and contracted herpes. My thrill - guy, is more than caring, supportive and understanding. Something I don't have in this marriage. My husband hasn't touched me or even tried since my vacation in August, and I was the one who initated it then. His response is that he doesn't feel like it or that he's too tired. However, he is a wonderful provider and an excellent father. Just not a good mate. My kids are 21 & 15. And don't need me as much as they used to.
On the OB supression issue...this is my 2nd. flare-up pre-menstral. It started with a tingle/burn sensation. I went back on the Valtrex, 1 gram 1 time a day for 5 days and it seems to be warding off the OB. Today is my 3rd. day medication-wise. I also, found a spray Aloe-vera gel @ my drugstore, which seems to make me more comfortable. I'm also taking Lysine daily, but don't notice any difference as far as supressing it.
As far as telling my husband about this, I can't! He'll blame me or endanger me in some way, sad, huh? I just don't forsee being that close w/him again. I guess I'll deal w/it, if & when the time comes. Not, very high on my priority list.
I'm finally getting over the gloom of H and realize it isn't life-threating. But, I'm also glad I've joined this board and get to talk w/people like you in this same situtation.
Thanks again for your kind words. I needed them.
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