backpacker

The worst is you can reinfect each other at a different sight. Herpes will always come out on the side of the body where you were infected (unless you were infected simultaneously on both sides) because it travels down the same major nerve pathway. But you can reinfect yourself on the other side. I know. I did.

You really have to decide for yourselves...but I've found that the "special event" idea is not a very good way of thinking if you have herpes. The idea that you should have sex because it is a special day can put a lot of pressure on you, and can make you feel that the day is a failure if you don't have sex. Better to put the emphasis on being loving, caring, communicative, and close.

I'm not saying I don't know how you feel. I watch my fertility cycle closely and always, every month, am dying to have real sex (oh, I hate condoms, and besides, they tend to rub me wrong and can cause ob's) once I stop being fertile. I used to really hate it if I had an ob at the time. But my good man sat me down and talked to me about it, and I've let go of that source of stress now. Basically, he said, Don't worry, when we can do it, it's great; when we can't, we're still great. It's just a matter of one thing that's great or the other.

I can't tell you how much his attitude means to me. It's one reason we're still great after over 13 years.