OMG The Penny's Dropped! - Herpes Message Board

Gulp! · 03-23-2004, 07:32 PM

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Oh my God! I can't believe that that I have been so stupid! On and off for some time now (though very infrequently) I have felt sore down below (usually following intercourse). A couple of times I checked in a mirror (as you do) and saw just a few small ulcer type lesions. I must be soooooo stupid! I never ever ever connected them to herpes until ............... and this is where it gets really good ...... NOW and NOW just happens to be when I am alone, in a foreign country where I dont really know anyone ......... and it gets better! ....... I no speaka de lingo!!!

This time I felt so sore that I thought I would search on the net for possible causes. I searched for pictures and eventually found some of herpes. Though they seemed extremely varied there were a couple that looked like............ yeah you got it - small ulcers!

Now I am left with a million questions??????????
The most burning (excuse the punn!) are:

1)Do I have some sort of plague? I ask this because reading some of the posts it seems like this is really big stuff (is it???)
2)Does this mean my partner has cheated on me and passed the infection on?
3)What should I be doing about it?
4)What other questions should I be asking??

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze help - I'm NOT home and ALONE!!

Thanxs!

P.S. I am Female!

movingrightalong · 03-23-2004, 09:19 PM

Hey girl,
I know.... shocking stuff. I had a "rash"--- a few bumps on my right butt cheek... for like 1 year and a half. Made NO connection whatsoever until I was looking up "herpes" for someone who had a coldsore and I started reading about genital herpes and was like "um.... I have that!".
To answer your questions to the best of my ability...
1) No, you don't have some sort of plague. You have a virus that invades the skin and is quite contagious, sometimes more than others. There will always be a risk of passing this along to a partner.... do your homework on "asymptomatic shedding" and shedding in general.
2) It doesn't necessarily mean that your partner cheated on you. He could have had it all along and not known, just like you. For some people the symptoms are pretty mild and so the pass it along without knowing that they have it.
3) As far as what you should be doing about it, first of all don't do any "activities" that would allow someone to come in contact with your sores. This is when the virus is most present on the skin... from a few days before the sore appears to a few days after it's gone. There are other times when your body may be shedding some of the virus....(back to the asymptomatic shedding).
4) As far as other questions, read around on the internet and on this board, you should have all of your questions answered and then some. There are tons of suppliments and prescriptions that people have success with when it comes to keeping their outbreaks under control.
Good luck to you. Are you still with the same boyfriend? Have you talked to him yet? It sounds like you're far away from home..... for how long? Where are you? (if you don't mind me asking.) There must be a doctor somewhere that speaks some english, if you feel like going to a clinic... at some point you may want to get a swab or other test done for a confirmation that you do in fact have herpes.
Take good care and keep coming here and asking all the questions you like, this board is an awesome source of information and support.
movingrightalong

One_in_Four · 03-24-2004, 01:00 PM

I feel so sorry for you! This is rough and I can only imagine what you are going through.

Try and find an English speaking Doctor? Maybe get on Valtrex twice a day? For relief, maybe get some whole garlic or garlic oil and mince them up and put on your OB's as a poultice?

You'll need to let your boyfriend know as soon as possible so he doesn't spread it even further. Also, remember that the virus can lay dormant in your body for years and in just the right conditions, your first OB can occur.

Good Luck!

Gulp! · 03-24-2004, 01:34 PM

Wow! Thank you so very much for taking the time and trouble to reply so kindly to my plea for help!

No I haven't told my partner yet . . . . . . since I am a long way from home at the mo I hope that by the time the 'issue' comes up I will have got my head around it sufficiently to talk to him, though that will be an even bigger GULP I fear!

I hope you will understand that I don't really want to say where I am at the mo' my partner does browse this site and would prefer to talk face to face than be identified by my location posssibly causing extra anxt for us both.

My limited experience of doctors here is that they are somewhat behind the times and to be honest the feet in stirrups situation leaves you feeling vunerable at the best of times so would prefer to wait til I return to home shores if thats not gonna be detrimental to any recovery rate??

From reading the board is seems to be that this is something you just have to get on with since its not curable so apart from actually getting diagnosis confirmed are there any benefits to formally disclosing the situation? Sometimes having things noted on your medical records can work against you and I wonder if anyone has experience of this?

I will certainly research asymptomatic shredding - sounds ghastly! Whilst you on the other hand sound supportive, caring and just what I needed last night

Thanx again for being such an angel!

Regards
Gulp!
P.S. It hurts a lot tonight

Quote:

Originally Posted by movingrightalong

Hey girl,
I know.... shocking stuff. I had a "rash"--- a few bumps on my right butt cheek... for like 1 year and a half. Made NO connection whatsoever until I was looking up "herpes" for someone who had a coldsore and I started reading about genital herpes and was like "um.... I have that!".
To answer your questions to the best of my ability...
1) No, you don't have some sort of plague. You have a virus that invades the skin and is quite contagious, sometimes more than others. There will always be a risk of passing this along to a partner.... do your homework on "asymptomatic shedding" and shedding in general.
2) It doesn't necessarily mean that your partner cheated on you. He could have had it all along and not known, just like you. For some people the symptoms are pretty mild and so the pass it along without knowing that they have it.
3) As far as what you should be doing about it, first of all don't do any "activities" that would allow someone to come in contact with your sores. This is when the virus is most present on the skin... from a few days before the sore appears to a few days after it's gone. There are other times when your body may be shedding some of the virus....(back to the asymptomatic shedding).
4) As far as other questions, read around on the internet and on this board, you should have all of your questions answered and then some. There are tons of suppliments and prescriptions that people have success with when it comes to keeping their outbreaks under control.
Good luck to you. Are you still with the same boyfriend? Have you talked to him yet? It sounds like you're far away from home..... for how long? Where are you? (if you don't mind me asking.) There must be a doctor somewhere that speaks some english, if you feel like going to a clinic... at some point you may want to get a swab or other test done for a confirmation that you do in fact have herpes.
Take good care and keep coming here and asking all the questions you like, this board is an awesome source of information and support.
movingrightalong

sarah1000 · 03-27-2004, 05:36 PM

I had finished taking a human sexuality class that spring and it still took me until late summer and a year of "rashes" until I made the connection. Isn't it amazing what our minds can do!

I had the virus for four years before I started Valtrex and still had an amazing response to it, so no I didn't have any negative effects of waiting.

And some people (or so i hear) have only a few outbreaks in their entire lives! I was always envious of those people! But you might be one of them. I am actually in the minority according to the literature (more than one outbreak a month when i am not on Valtrex).

I was also afraid of talking to doctors and getting the prescription filled. If it's an option for you, I ended up going to a doctor in another town and paying for it myself (not because of the insurance company, but to keep the info away from my ridiculouly small town primary care doctor with no concept of patient confidentiality). I explained to this new doctor what i was doing and why and he was really great about it, he charged me the lowest price he could for the initial visit and said that as long as I had the intial blood test to check for liver/kidney problems and forwarded him my records to prove I was getting regular gyn care, he would prescribe it for me without additional visits. I filled the prescription in a large town where I didn't know anyone.

I felt like a secret agent for a while, but such was the cost of my sanity.

ps. Now I have a primary care doctor I trust, and get the prescription filled in my town (albeit, a different town from where potential high school friends and their associates work at the pharmacy).

Good Luck!