getting to know herpes - Herpes Message Board

caughtupinit · 03-30-2004, 03:36 PM

thanks to those who responded to my last post. in particular, siobahn, who made me think of another question. what is it like for women when they first find out they have it? i want some different angles on what my partner might be going through so that i can anticipate any weirdness. as i said, she's been diagnosed within the last 6 months, has had only one other intimate relationship (since being diagnosed) besides me that i know of, and is 24 years old. she's very attractive and i'm sure she's used to being able to command any guy's attention whenever she wants. i guess i'm concerned that this new insecurity is going to mess with her head. any comments in regards to the details of coping with this problem? i'm well informed on the medical side of having herpes, but not the mental/emotional side.

lilangrygirl · 03-30-2004, 04:39 PM

The mental association with having h is so hard to explain. I can tell you that I have been on a emotional rollercoster since i found out i had it which has only been about 5 months. There are so many things that go through your head like will i ever get married, the thought of being rejected. To tell you the truth i dont really ever cry about it any more. There isnt a day that goes by that it isnt on my mind though. I'm only 22 and i do have a boyfriend who is very supportive. I guess what you can do is just listen to her when she is feeling down. I know that i felt ashamed when i first got it. Now i look at it differently. I always say i am not going to let something like h effect my life. If somone doesnt want to be with me because of it then its there loss cause i know what i great person i am. I think the hardest part about having h is the social stigma that comes along with it. People just assume your dirty. Actually i think i am probably clearner then most people. Hey maybe having this is a good thing well in a way. Hopefully this will keep me from ever contracting anything else. I do think everyone handles this situation differently. I think you should just tell her that you are there for her and that you are more then willing to listen to her when she need to vent. That will probably make her feel good. Anyway good luck.

sarah1000 · 03-31-2004, 06:18 PM

I had an experience very similar to the previous post. My current bf is very aware when i can feel a potential outbreak coming on and makes sure I'm eating and sleeping well, just knowing that he doesn not judge me for having this and gives me plenty of cuddling when i am feeling not so good is a huge help.