I am planning on sueing my ex-girlfriend for knowingly infecting me with genital herpes (HSV-2). We dated for a month before we began sleeping together, and soon enough after about a week of sex (with condoms), I ended up contracting her HSV-2. After confronting her, she admitted she had it but did not bother warning me. Anyway, I wish to file a lawsuit against her in civil court for this (not for the money, but out of principle). I have read of others doing the same thing so this won't be the first time it happens. Anyway, the reason I'm here is because I was wondering if anyone else has looked into this and could perhaps offer some info for me. For instance has anyone else tried? Is there a certain type of lawyer I should go to? Any good websites with info on how to pursue this??
I feel that if I let her get away with this without even trying to do something about it, then I couldn't live with myself. People must be held responsible for spreading this awful disease. Anyone help would be greatly appreciated.
Hey its not fair,
I dont know what you can do as far as the court thing goes, but I have a question for you that is off subject, if you wouldnt mind answering. What if she wouldve told you 3 weeks into the relationship and never had sex with you but the two of you only messed around? How wouldve you reacted? wouldve you stayed? would you have been understanding or wouldve you been mad that she even dated you? Would you please say how you wouldve reacted if it had happened that way? I am going to tell the person Im seeing but Im waiting until I know the person cares to tell them. Just curious of the possible reaction. Hope you dont mind my question.
I actually work in a law firm as a paralegal (well I'm almost done with my paralegal certificate) and I can tell you this that you can sue anyone for anything. But this doesn't mean that the Court will grant you damages. You would need to prove that having "H" has significantly ruined your life. How much do you sue for? How do you put an amount on having this disease? Having "H" doesn't stop you from having a normal life it is more like an inconvenience. So I doubt that you will get very far in Court. I am not going to say that having "H" isn't a life changing experience because it is and it sucks a majority of the time but so does life. Nothing in this world is fair and unfortunately you and all the rest of us are here all because of the same thing. I do think that this girl should have warned you but that this is just one of the reasons so many people have "H" its because people are so afraid of coming to terms with actually having this.
That's funny suing someone for them giving you Herpes. First of all you would need medical records of every single partner you've ever been with and then you yourself would need medical records testing you every six months which includes testing for herpes which isn't a standard test they perform in std testing. I do think it is your responsibility to ASK HER and if you didn't then i'd say it's your fault. It's also her faut for not telling you in the first place. If you didn't demand and std test before you ever slept with her and both got tested then i'd say you don't have a snow balls chance in heck of any kind of lawsuit. You'll come to terms with it eventually, everyone does.
You know what else is funny about that. This guy my X knew was a total player and he went out with this woman a few times and he "supposedly" used a condom and was careful and then a few weeks later he found out he had herpes and called her, she admitted she had it, he asked her why she didn't say anything and she said it's because you never bothered to ask LOL
Still think herpes is more of an inconvienence, but yanno you take a chance with everything in life, whether it's driving to the store, eating fast food or walking across the street. No one said life's fair and having sex no matter how safe you think you or they are is like playing Russian Roulette. If i was you i'd be thankful it was ONLY H and not something like HIV that could kill you.
Last edited by serialnovelist; 04-12-2004 at 05:18 PM.
did you discuss STDs with her prior to being intimate? Granted, the situation of her telling you afterwards and pretty much infecting you with prior knowledge of being a carrier is extremely screwed up, I dont really see why suing her is going to ease anything. If anything I would think drawing the process out over weeks of court hearings and such would cause you more anger and pain than it would satisfaction. Also, assuming you win....you didnt really win. You still have HSV, and I dont think it'll settle anything for you emotionally.
Bearing that in mind, yes, it would be possible to file a lawsuit, but difficult. It would involve medical records and such.
Why didnt you ask her if she had any std's? Its the first thing ya do nowadays when your dating. Get a clue man. Suing her is ridiculous. You arent gonna win anything and ya still gonna have herpes. Sorry bout your luck though. Now that you have it will you be upfront with the women you date? I sure hope so.
Yes, there have been other lawsuits out there, BUT those lawsuits are catering to the spread of HIV. Those people that are suing are people that have been exposed to death by their partners that have HIV & knowingly passed it on to them without mentioning the fact that they were infected. HIV is life-threatening - HSV isn't, it's only a minor inconvenience in this journey that we call life. Also, you're going to have to prove that she was the one that passed it on to you, which means dredging up past partners, both yours & hers (medical scientists are finding out that herpes can lie dormant for years before showing a symptom/sign of infection).
I don't think it's possible to prove. Even if you've had no other sexual contact with any other person, how do you prove THAT? Since HSV can lie dormant forever, there can never be any proof that it did come from her, even though you know it did. The way I look at it, I can grab a doorknob infected with a cold and get a cold, I can crash my car and die, or I can fall blindly in love with a girl who was so afraid to lose me that she was afraid to tell me she had symptoms. The stigma involved with herpes is so strong (thanks to those who sell the drugs) that people are just terrified to tell. I know, because I will be too! I know we have to tell, it's wrong not to. But, the fear of rejection combined with the human sex drive is a powerful force. People who don't have herpes underestimate that force, like I did, and so we have 80% of the population with some form of herpes.