panicked - Herpes Message Board

cumquat · 06-03-2004, 07:35 PM

Can someone please tell me how long herpes 2 can lay dormant? I have had only one partner in my life, and have been with him for 18 years. I have recently found out that I MAY have herpes, and want to confront him. Since he's it for me...if I do test positive, I can only assume he's been cheating on me. Can someone please help?? I can't seem to find any info anywhere else, and I am just devastated.

movingrightalong · 06-03-2004, 08:11 PM

They say that it can lay dormant for decades, and then some people have such mild symptoms, and so rarely, that they don't know that they have if for years. If your husband has had other partners in his past (before you) then this could be the case and it's possible that you've just been really lucky.
Also, If either of you get coldsores, don't forget that you can pass the genitals orally.
First thing's first, get a confirmation on your diagnosis. Hope it's wrong, but try not to fret too hard until you know for sure. Does he know that that there is a possiblity thatyou may have it? What are your symptoms? Have you told him that you're having some discomfort, etc..?If so, what is his response?
mra

cumquat · 06-03-2004, 08:22 PM

I just found out yesterday that it's a possibility. Had a regular check up with my gyno and mentioned that I had a sore that appears like clockwork right after I get my period. I never even thought std....since I have only had one partner. I am a cancer patient, and just assumed that it was part of the hormone thing with my preventive recurrent treatment. I was floored to hear that it was probably herpes. My husband is away and I want to get some info before I accuse him of cheating....he has had partners other than me....but I thought that was 18 years ago....see where I am coming from? Don't wan't to jump to conclusions, but it is hard to do.

movingrightalong · 06-03-2004, 08:46 PM

I can only imagine how hard it must be to be questioning something like your husband's fidelity after all these years. The thing is.... yes, maybe he got it recently, but it's very very conceiveable that he contracted it years ago and has it very mildly. Look how long you had it without even knowing.... it could be the same for him. I went a few years without knowing that I had it. I had some bumps on my buttcheek that appeared, without fail, just after my period. I chalked it up to lots of things and herpes didn't even occur to me. It was happenstance that I was looking up some info on herpes for someone else and I was like "um.... well.... my goodness... that's me!".
How long have you been getting the sores?
Herpes is such a toughie--- sometimes it's obvious where it came from and sometimes it's not. It's excellent that you're getting as informed as possible. This board is a wonderful source of first hand experience and support.
Good luck and keep us posted on how things are going.
mra