for starters, I would like to say to anyone who is going through the stress of not knowing if you have herpes or not, educate yourself about herpes. Thats why I did, and it has gotten me through, its been a month since I found out. I also live a completly normal life, don't think about the outbreaks too much, even when they happen, and have (or had) a really great sex life.
Now for the problem, my bf and I both got gh at the same time, not sur ewho gave it to who, but we dealt with it. We just broke up yesterday and I have a million things running through my head. The last time we almsot broke up, I couldn't stop thinking about how I would have to tell someone knew that I had herpes, and I couldn't just go through it with someone I care about. Now I am scared again. Its really hard to tell people. I know herpes is not near as bad as peolple think, but i'm so scared to have to tell someone again. I was so happy to be going through it with someone I cared about. Sorry, just had to vent
Try to deal with telling the way you've dealt with h. Don't think about it until you have to, and then just do what you must. One day at a time. There's no need to worry about it now. And if you're with the right one, everything will be fine. And if you're not, better to find out sooner than after you've married him.
I am going through the same thing. I contracted genital HSV-1 from my last boyfriend. He hadn't had cold sores since he was a child and never even realized he was putting me at risk. He was supportive and helped me through the situation - talking to me, helping with meds, etc. However, this happened near the end of our relationship, which was not working out for others reasons that had to do with us not wanting the same things out of life. Now, three months later we have finally broke up and I am starting to have anxiety all over again about H. I am sure some of my anxiety is about the end of a longterm relationship and losing that friendly day-to-day interaction and some of it is about the prospects of finding a new relationship, which seems more difficult due to the H. He feels bad. I feel bad. However, I guess we can't stay together when it's not working just so we don't have to break this news to our future partners. I guess my advice to you and my plan for myself is to just take time to work through the feelings about the issue and about H. I am planning on attending the next support group in my city. I am hoping it will help, although I fear being around too many people who are still negative and upset after years of dealing with this may make me feel worse. I guess I will just have to wait and see. I have a friend who contracted this 8 years ago and has never told her current long term boyfriend. I know that is not an option for me so I am focusing on how I can tell someone in the most positive, informative, non-dramatic way possible. I sincerely hope that the right person will be able to deal with this and I can still get married and have a family since that is something I really want out of life.
Just wanted to say, I know exactly how you are feeling/what you are going through. I contracted herpes when I was with my ex and it would appear I got it from him...although I'll never know for sure. I was really gutted when I found out I'd got H, but since we were in the same boat, it wasn't that big a deal and we were there for each other and understood what each other was going through. Since we've split up, my main concern has been the same as yours...future partners. I'm worried about being alone and not finding someone who will want me as I have H....however, since finding this site, I have gotten a bit of a boost after reading the happy couples thread! It's true... we have to get ourselves positive first. Being able to share experiences, I'm sure we'll be able to help each other and will get there!