backpacker

Actually, Lisa, there is some disagreement as to how much a condom protects your partner from herpes. The more friction, the more tears in your skin, so the more likelihood of contracting this virus, which doesn't remain politely right where the sore is but seems to shed all around the genital area, and which often (esp with us women) causes sores outside the area covered by a condom, anyway.

Whether you use a condom or not, try using a good lubricant like KY Silky. Put a little on you inside and outside in all the folds, then on him (or the condom.) Then practice gentle sex instead of rough sex. Afterwards, have him wash his whole crotch area with soap and water (actually, my partner and I use Neutrogena since it is less drying.) If you can find a nondisposable douche, then douche with warm salted (about 1/4 t per cup) water, and wash outside gently to get the lubricant off.

My partner and I have been together almost 13 years now; he does not have herpes. We think that condoms lessen the quality of our love life, so we don't use them. We do use a lot of common sense to protect him. We never have sex when I feel not only an ob coming on, but also when I feel unusually tired or stressed or strange in any way. Before we have intercourse, I check myself, first with a magnifying cosmetic mirror and then with my fingers. Then we do our gentle, lubricated sex thing, and we wash up afterwards, usually while we're talking and giggling (OK, I'm giggling and he's chuckling) about how good it was.

don't know anything about the female condom; sorry. Hope some of this helps.