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Old 12-11-2004, 11:36 PM   #1
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Best defense for not infecting partner?

Im just curious I know condoms are not 100% effective... especialy with females I heard because it will not cover our entire genital area... but if used properly how effective is a condom to prevent your partner from getting this???? And does anyone else know anything better.?!?!?!.. or that has worked for them... I have hsv 1 genitaly... and I shave and i think maybe when i shave i break out... maybe... i think it is just from my razor but i dont want to assume... its nothing really just tiny bumps. please reply if you know anything thats more protective!!!!.. thanx take care and merry christmas!


xoxox heaven

Last edited by Heavensent102; 12-11-2004 at 11:37 PM.

 
Old 12-12-2004, 06:14 AM   #2
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Re: Best defense for not infecting partner?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavensent102
Im just curious I know condoms are not 100% effective... especialy with females I heard because it will not cover our entire genital area... but if used properly how effective is a condom to prevent your partner from getting this???? And does anyone else know anything better.?!?!?!.. or that has worked for them... I have hsv 1 genitaly... and I shave and i think maybe when i shave i break out... maybe... i think it is just from my razor but i dont want to assume... its nothing really just tiny bumps. please reply if you know anything thats more protective!!!!.. thanx take care and merry christmas!


xoxox heaven
It's possible that you are outbreaking when you shave down there, but more likely that hair follicles are becoming swollen from the shaving. Look closely and see if you see a hair in the bump - if so, that is likely to be the problem. You could always get these bumps swabbed as soon as they appear, and tested for herpes.

I have read that the statistics show that whatever the risk of passing on genital herpes would be, condoms reduce it probably around 50%. Their effectiveness does vary pretty wildly though. As you have genital HSV1, the chances of passing it on from genital contact should be lower than genital HSV2 although there are no guarantees, and condoms should reduce the risk: although again, no guarantees. They may cause friction, and it's not a good idea to use condoms with spermicide as these can cause problems apparently.

Do you take Valtrex or another suppressive therapy? This would be the main way in which you could reduce outbreaks and your asymptomatic shedding and thus the risk of passing on the virus to a partner.

 
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Old 12-12-2004, 07:53 AM   #3
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Re: Best defense for not infecting partner?

Condoms really only protect you from the part of the genitals it covers....The female condom actually protects more. (All though I haven't used one..I am Female)...It fits around the whole vagina I believe. You should use condoms all the time during sex, just to be extra careful. But you should also be taking something to suppress OB's. I know that lots of people here use alternative therapy for controlling their OB's...It's whatever works for each individual really. Those alternative forms (herbs etc,,,,,) Do work in keeping your immune system up, so you are healthier causing less OB's. But an anti-viral medication such as Valtrex and Acyclovir, work against "asymtomatic shedding". Personally these drugs in my opinion work best against keeping H at bay. They don't boost your immunity like herbs but they do control the virus the best. Some people get OB's even when they are feeling perfectly fine. Long term use though is kinda what scares me though. Any medication for a long period of time is bad on your liver. But in the beginning of having H, sometimes meds work best until your OB's become less frequent.
I am not a doctor, this is just my opinion, if you really want to be sure, please speak to a professional.

PS...I find that waxing is really the best

Last edited by Lotuslilgrl; 12-12-2004 at 07:58 AM.

 
Old 12-12-2004, 12:41 PM   #4
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Re: Best defense for not infecting partner?

I have been making love with my soulmate for 13 years and he has never gotten h. We have a good system that works for us, and we use condoms as little as possible (to prevent pregnancy, and I know when I ovulate.) First, I always pay attention to the signs my body gives me--if I've been feeling tired for no reason, unusually stressed out, aching legs, sensitive skin in the groin or down a leg, irritated anywhere in my crotch, or anything else strange, we do not have sex. At these times we cuddle, massage backs or feet or necks, scratch scalps, read to each other, take walks, talk, etc etc. If I haven't been feeling any signs at all, then I check myself out before we have sex. I have a double-sided cosmetic mirror (one side is normal, the other magnifies) and use the magnifiying side to check out the area where I might get ob's. Then I wash my hands and (hopefully) give the all-clear sign. Right before he goes in, I put some KY Silky (not regular gloppy KY jelly) inside me and around the outside, and rub it on him, too. This decreases friction, which causes micro-tears in both of your genital tissues during sex and increases the chance of infection if the virus is present. Remember, if you have no sign of an ob or impending ob, any virus that might be present due to asymptomatic shedding (if it truly is asymptomatic, which I have my doubts about) is not nearly as virulent, so your job is to reduce the chances that any weak virus present will be able to overwhelm his immune system. So reduce friction as much as possible, and practice gentle rather than rock'emsock'em sex. This is also one reason why we don't use condoms if we can avoid it (and never will once I go through menopause): they cause more friction, and sometimes an uncomfortable amount! (The other reason is that we feel they lower the quality of our sex--and we are monogamous, so don't worry about things like AIDS.) Finally, after sex, we he always washes off his entire crotch area with soap and water for about 20-30 seconds, just as you would wash off your hands when exposed to any virus, such as a cold. In fact, I had a herpes counsellor tell me that she had been probing a client's herpes blister once for a swab when it burst and some of the liquid went into her eye. Instead of panicking, she merely rinsed out her eye with an antiseptic. She had no cut in her eye and got the virus killed or washed out soon after, so her eye was not affected. Anyway, while he is washing, I also wash the KY Silky off, since the stickiness seems to irritate me afterwards.

Well, that's our system, and it works for us without compromising the quality of our sex lives. Of course, no system is foolproof, and my partner knows that someday he may get h. Acceptance of this is just part of the deal. Good luck to you.

 
Old 12-12-2004, 01:31 PM   #5
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Re: Best defense for not infecting partner?

May I please ask how you told your partner that you had this... I'm young still a teenager 17 actualy... and I got this before Ieven had actual vaginal intercourse... I have hsv 1 genitaly and no I do not take suppresive for this because my mom knows that i dont ever break out... so I think shed know it was because i feel i may want to have sex... wouldnt she??? but anyways I'm not planning on sleeping with a lot of guys... just in case id just like to know. I know I could never not tell him about it. And my ex boyfriend.. the one of the only people who know about this, ummm well okay he was my first boyfriend... and we were together 19 months .. (i know it doesnt seem like a lot.. but for me it really was) he was everything to me... and i ended it because he always lied to me, and seemed distant, then we wanted me back, then i wanted him back... but now it has been a long time since we have even spoken .. but I feel as if I want to be with him because he kne and accpeted it... and I dont want to let anyone else know about it... did anyone else feel this way? is it ust a stage or???

ok thanx guys once again... lol
xoxox heaven

 
Old 12-13-2004, 03:39 PM   #6
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Re: Best defense for not infecting partner?

hey, heaven...you don't have to accept anything just because you have h. Some people cannot get past it, but many can, and others it doesn't seem to bother much. So just like everything in relationships, you just have to find out whether this person is a good match for you. Herpes is only one of many many issues. But telling about herpes is an excellent way to weed out undesireable partners. If he can't accept h, he probably won't be able to accept many other parts of you he doesn't like. If he thinks badly of you for having h, he probably would think badly of you for other nonsensical reasons. You're not looking for just anyone; you're looking for your soulmate, who will see the real, special you, and who will cherish you above all things, and will remain trueblue through many hardships--of which herpes will be the least important. (Also you are looking for the person you respect and admire above all, to whom you can remain faithful, forgiving, and loving through all the vicissitudes of life.) So telling about h is good way to recognize whether this guy is as good as he seems (many aren't!)

Everybody feels nervous about telling, but if you believe that you are a good, worthwhile person, then you will not blame yourself if he reacts negatively--you will see that it reflects on him. Of course, you don't need to tell right away, as long as you don't get sexual right away. Take it slow and see if he seems worth it. Then, when you think things are heating up and you're ready to, tell him. I just told my soulmate and he said, "Oh? OK." Then I told him what I thought we should do to protect him, and that was that. We've never had much problem with it. When I have ob's he says, "I'm sorry you have to go through this." He never acts like it's a big inconvenience for him, though it is--for both of us.

 
Old 12-13-2004, 10:47 PM   #7
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Re: Best defense for not infecting partner?

Backpacker, you are right. If your partner is willing to accept the fact that you have herpes, then he is accepting YOU for being YOU, not for purely physical appearance, materialistic reasons, intelect etc. Nobody chooses to just go out one day and get infected with herpes unknowingly and it doesn't make you a dirty or unworthy person of being loved so, heaven, hang in there and don't give up. There are so many people who don't have herpes and can't find a partner and so many people with herpes who have found a partner. Finding a partner is just one of those things which takes time.

 
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