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Old 02-19-2005, 05:12 PM   #1
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Lucky2323 HB User
Desperately Seeking Help!!! I Pray its not Herpes!!! Very Depressed Need some Advice!

Okay Here goes my story, its sorta long, for those who read it and give me advice I thank you in advance. Okay I am a 25 year old male. I have had three sexual partners in the last six months. During the last semester of college, I started dating a girl and we began having unprotected sex, after she assured me that she was clean and had been tested. Right after we broke up in June, I started getting the urge to urinate a lot, and burned while I urnated, I would also get a clear discharge after I urinated. I didnt do anything about it for two months, thinking it was just a urinary tract infection, and that it would go away, finally in August after severe pain in my kidneys and back I went and saw a Urologist, who diagnosed me with a urinary tract infection, and perscribed me with a cycle of cipro and doxcycline. This relieved the pain in my back and kidneys, but still hurt when I would pee. I went back to him in October and he perscribed me with Sulfameth to try and clear up the infection, and it did a little, but it still hurt a little while I urinated, and I would still get a slight discharge after urinating. I had two other sexual partners during the time, both were protected. Around December, six months after my relationship ended with the girl in question, I noticed a few small red dots on my penis, they were round and looked like right under the skin, the weren't raised. They didnt hurt, bleed, or scab over. They went away after three days. I really just thought it was a reaction to all the medicine I was taking to rid myself of the urinary tract infection. I continued taking the sulfameth and it was making my urinating somewhat normal, but still a slight pain and a slight discharge although it was getting better. The doctor had no clue what it was. Then a few days ago, Its now February I noticed a few red spots had returned. They are red dots and one is on my shaft, one is on my base, and the other is on the base of my penis. they dont itch, hurt, or bleed. I dont have the typical side effects of herpes, no back pain, no tingling, just these spots. Again I thought it was a reaction to the medication, but I am not so sure anymore. I made an appointment to get tested next week, and lets just say I am freaking out. I am so depressed about this, I have always been a happy good looking kid, and now I feel so sad and depressed, and feel that my life is over. I keep thinking who is going to want to be with me, I am damaged goods, I will never be able to get married, and live a normal healthy life, I keep thinking about killing myself. I have never been depressed before. I called the girl who I had been in a relationship with six months prior and she 100% swears that she does not have any std's and has been tested for herpes before. She never had an outbreak when i was with her, as we were sleeping together on a daily basis so I think I would have noticed, and she was never on valtrex or anything. She swears up and down that she has been tested twice in a six month period and is clean. What could this be? Does it sound like Herpes? If so what do I do? I really am so depressed, and feel like my life is over. I have had several girls ask me out, and I dont even want to start another relationship with anyone until I know what this is. I have lost a lot over this, including my job, I find myself crying uncontrollably, and sleeping all day. What do you all think? I really hope this isn't herpes. I have vowed to live a different life if I test negative. I have been praying on a daily basis, and have told myself that I will never have unprotected sex again until I am married. Prior to sleeping with the girl in question, I had slept with two other girls one protected and one not. The one that was unprotected was her first time with anyone unprotected, and prior to that I was with my girlfriend over four years, who we were each others first time. I keep saying to myself I didnt deserve this, I am not some **** who took risks and chances. I simply was cheated. Someone please give me advice. Does this sound like Herpes? Thank you all for your advice.

 
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Old 02-19-2005, 07:42 PM   #2
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Champ17 HB User
Re: Desperately Seeking Help!!! I Pray its not Herpes!!! Very Depressed Need some Advice!

First off I would like to tell you to calm down you are stressing too much. You don't even know if you have it. Herpes is not the end of the world..Not by far
Those red spots you where talking about don't sound like herpes. Plus you said you were in fact having sex after the troubles you were having with your kidneys and back. If you had herpes I assume having sex could have caused an outbreak or you would have gave it to your partners. Until you get tested and know the results...find something you like and do it wheter its sports video games..etc

 
Old 02-19-2005, 09:40 PM   #3
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GvilleGirl HB User
Re: Desperately Seeking Help!!! I Pray its not Herpes!!! Very Depressed Need some Advice!

I was kinda offended by your whole post. I do hope you don't have it. But if you do it is not the end of the world. And for most people who get this they don't sleep around like most people think. No one deserves to get this, but in some ways it can change your life for the better. I never took "risks" when it came to sex, I got it at 17 with a guy I was not having sex with! And before that I was in a 2 year relationship and we used condoms all the time. I was always the cautious one. And as far as you saying you were "cheated", yea well maybe if you got some life threatening illness, it's Hsv nothing but a stigma that society gives it. Im not "dirty" now that I have this, Im actually probably cleaner the most of my friends who sleep around and just haven't gotten it.
As far as you saying you used protection, well just to inform you, you can get herpes and HPV from PROTECTED sex. And even if she was tested it could come back negative even if she did have it.

 
Old 02-19-2005, 10:22 PM   #4
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sandiegan5050 HB User
Re: Desperately Seeking Help!!! I Pray its not Herpes!!! Very Depressed Need some Advice!

Yeah man. Chill out. I was trippin too when I first got herpes... ive had it for almost 2 years now and have only had 3 outbreaks. Mine arent painful and only last a few days. A lot of people have herpes and dont experience outbreaks at all, dont even know they have it.

You should be happy you dont have anything like HIV. I am shitting my pants hoping i am HIV- , still waiting for my results.

theres nothing wrong with sleeping all day, i love sleeping

 
Old 02-21-2005, 02:11 PM   #5
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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beaker24 HB User
Re: Desperately Seeking Help!!! I Pray its not Herpes!!! Very Depressed Need some Advice!

It could be anything. Some aspects indicate herpes e.g. the recurrence of similar symptoms - but it could be quite a few other things.

You may know that standard STD screening doesn't include herpes, you have to ask for it specifically.

You could have got this virus from ANY of your previous sexual partners who themselves had sexual partners before sleeping with you. Whether the sex they had or you had was "protected" is unfortunately not as relevant as you might think as condoms only offer limited protection against herpes.

Herpes is transmitted by skin to skin contact, not bodily fluids, and condoms as I am sure you can appreciate, do not cover all of the genital skin area. They probably reduce the chance of infection, but they do not achieve the dramatic results they do with a virus like HIV. Plenty of people - including people on these boards - got herpes from sex with a condom. There is a line of thought that condoms may not actually help at all as they cause friction which leads to small cuts which increase the chance the virus will be passed on.

A couple of other points to note:

* Some women get their outbreaks internally and these are of course not as obvious.

* Herpes itself can be very minor and easily mistaken in women for thrush and other vaginal problems etc.

* In a very small minority of people, herpes will not show up when they are tested. In other people it takes up to 3 to 4 months for the antibodies to appear. If tests occur before 12-16 weeks, they may well not be accurate as to a person's herpes status.

 
Old 02-22-2005, 10:22 AM   #6
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Angel HB User
Re: Desperately Seeking Help!!! I Pray its not Herpes!!! Very Depressed Need some Advice!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GvilleGirl
I was kinda offended by your whole post. I do hope you don't have it. But if you do it is not the end of the world. And for most people who get this they don't sleep around like most people think. No one deserves to get this, but in some ways it can change your life for the better. I never took "risks" when it came to sex, I got it at 17 with a guy I was not having sex with! And before that I was in a 2 year relationship and we used condoms all the time. I was always the cautious one. And as far as you saying you were "cheated", yea well maybe if you got some life threatening illness, it's Hsv nothing but a stigma that society gives it. Im not "dirty" now that I have this, Im actually probably cleaner the most of my friends who sleep around and just haven't gotten it.
As far as you saying you used protection, well just to inform you, you can get herpes and HPV from PROTECTED sex. And even if she was tested it could come back negative even if she did have it.
Why were you offended by his post, He was just expressing his concerns with you all, not to offend anyone in particularly.

 
Old 02-22-2005, 04:34 PM   #7
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 50
cinnamongirl_9 HB User
Re: Desperately Seeking Help!!! I Pray its not Herpes!!! Very Depressed Need some Advice!

I have to agree with the majority of people saying it's not the end of the world if you have herpes. Really. I contracted it over twelve years ago from a man who raped me. I was mortified, to say the least. Talk about feeling like I didn't deserve it.

But life goes on. I take medication everyday, and haven't had an outbreak in too many years to remember. Yes, it does change your life, but so do a lot of things. You learn to adapt, and succeed.

 
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