Re: Please Help
1. GvilleGirl's advice sounds right to me although I am not a doctor either!
2. The herpes virus does not survive very long outside the human body - typically, less than thirty seconds. It has been cultivated from warm wet towels after several minutes, but catching it from a hotel's sheets or bathtub is exceptionally unlikely:
a) As GvilleGirl says, these are not warm wet objects; the sheets are dry and the bath too hard
b) The length of time since they were previously used would probably rule out herpes.
3. It is not a very good idea to let someone else use your washsponge or cloth. As a general rule, you shouldn't share these items anyway because if any item is going to pass on an STD, it is these. The risk is probably low, but it is there, and it's a good habit to get into not to share this stuff. As I say, herpes has been cultivated from wet towels, so I would make sure that you have separate bathroom items for the different members of your household - washcloths, sponges, towels etc. Backpacker who posts on here quite a bit recommends getting items with different colours or patterns so each family member has their own things which aren't used by others.
4. Herpes can certainly appear after seven years of not apparently appearing at all. One of the things about this virus is that it can remain dormant for a long time.
5. The other thing is that the virus can also appear in a very mild form. You say your husband has had nothing on his penis - has he ever been itchy in the genital area, had any kinds of bumps or irritation? Genital herpes can appear anywhere in the area which would be covered by a pair of boxer shorts, not just on the penis. It can also be mistaken for a variety of other genital complaints (and vice versa). Men tend to have more outbreaks than women, but the outbreaks tend to be less serious.
6. Although neither of you have cold sores on your mouth, the chances are that one or both of you nonetheless has HSV1. 50-80% of the population do. 90% of them do not get recurrent cold sores. Most people were infected as children and had one cold sore they do not recall (or more rarely, did not have a sore at all).
7. The question about bathing with your child - has anyone got any advice on this? I don't have kids and I am not sure about this one.
Sorry as I know it must be a difficult and stressful time for you. Keep posting here, there are some knowledgeable people on this board. Good luck.