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Old 02-21-2005, 02:12 PM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2005
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chicagostyle HB User
Dating someone with HSV-1 & 2...

I have been dating someone for the past month...
Last week he told me that his last long term relationship (last 5 years and they were engaged...she broke it off) left him infected with HSV-1 and HSV-2.
I have so much fun with him and am very much into the possibility of starting a serious relationship with him, but am concerned about my own health.

From the reading I have done on the subject, I have concluded that I have HSV-1 because I do get cold sores once a year when extremely stressed..they usually consist of one small sore residing on my gumline...

But my concern is about sexual activity and how at risk I am for contracting HSV-2 if I go through with sexual relations with this man.

He told me, he does not have outbreaks on his penis directly, but usually in the skin in the pubic region.

The specific questions I have are...

1) If I give him oral sex, not during an outbreak, will i be infected with something worse than what I already get maybe once a year on my gumline?

2) If he gives me oral sex, not during an outbreak, will I be infected with the HSV-2?

3) Is the percentage high of people who get HSV-2 during intercourse, even with a condom and not during an outbreak.

Any information would be helpful, and if you have a similar situation you could share...
of if this topic has been brought up, which I am sure it has, a link to that particular conversation would be great.

Thanks so much in advance...

 
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Old 02-21-2005, 02:30 PM   #2
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beaker24 HB User
Re: Dating someone with HSV-1 & 2...

1) If I give him oral sex, not during an outbreak, will i be infected with something worse than what I already get maybe once a year on my gumline?

Although theoretically possible, this is VERY unlikely. If he has HSV2 I would assume that this infection was genital. HSV2 infections of the mouth are rare. They would be very rare indeed in someone who already have HSV1. If you were infected, it is unlikely that the infection would ever return. There is a very small risk but to be honest with you - this one is not likely.

2) If he gives me oral sex, not during an outbreak, will I be infected with the HSV-2?

You do need some clarification about the location of each of his viruses, so I suggest you ask the guy - it is very very likely he has HSV2 genitally and not on his mouth. If this is the case, he cannot give you HSV2 from oral sex. However, there is a small risk that you could be reinfected with HSV1 genitally from his oral HSV1. The risk is low because you apparently already have oral HSV1 and so have antibodies to the virus.

3) Is the percentage high of people who get HSV-2 during intercourse, even with a condom and not during an outbreak.

I don't know the exact percentages but this is unfortunately not uncommon. Several people on these boards were infected in this way. The thing about herpes is that it is transmitted by skin to skin contact, not by bodily fluids. This guy does not get outbreaks on his penis, but it sounds like on an area not covered by a condom. This increases the risks.

The things you need to ascertain are:

1. Your own herpes status. You should be tested for both HSV1 and HSV2 to confirm your HSV1 and make sure that you do not already have HSV2. This will give you a clearer idea of what you are dealing with.

2. The location of the guy's herpes infections - as I say, chances are it's oral HSV1 and genital HSV2.

3. Whether he is on suppressive therapy. Suppressive therapy significantly reduces the risk of herpes being passed on to a partner.

 
Old 02-21-2005, 04:41 PM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: MD
Posts: 1,457
backpacker HB Userbackpacker HB User
Re: Dating someone with HSV-1 & 2...

You should read the "Happy Couples" thread. It is a whole long thread with stories and advice about having and keeping an uninfected partner herpes-free.

 
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