Re: symptom relief?
Put garlic oil on it--that's real soothing. Get a very small, airtight container. Cut up one clove of garlic (that's just one of the pieces on a head of garlic that you can buy very cheaply at the grocery store produce section.) into a few chunks. Put that in the container and cover with extra-virgin olive oil. Let it sit about two hours with the lid on. Now you can swab it very gently (I use a q-tip) onto the sore area. Throw the q-tip away, in a baggie if the smell is too strong for you, and cover the garlic oil again. You can leave it right where you'll use it--no need to refrigerate. You can swab it on as often as you want.
When you pee, I've heard squirting warm water near your urethra as the pee is coming out helps dilute it. Your pee is acidic and is burning the open sores.
It does sound like herpes, but I've also had a bacterial vaginal infection that gave me red sore bumps, swelling, and itchiness.
People don't always know that they have herpes--some have symptoms so mild that they don't notice. You can also get herpes genitally if someone gives you oral sex when he has a cold sore on his mouth. Are you sure he was tested for herpes specifically? Because herpes is not included in the normal STD workup--you have to request it specifically. And, of course, the test results can be wrong sometimes.
I hope you feel better soon. If it is herpes, the primary outbreak is the worst. You can also take garlic pills orally and eat lots of fresh garlic, and take echinacea (I use the drops) for two weeks, 3x a day, to boost your immune system. And then come back here and read all you can to get lots of other ideas for controlling this.
We all know how you feel because we've been through it. You'll go through shock and depression and anger if this is herpes, but try to get through it--it does change your life somewhat, but doesn't have to have the huge impact that you think it does right now. I've had it for about 15 years now and have had a great life, have had children, have gotten rid of a bad husband (nothing to do with herpes) and found a wonderful soulmate who doesn't have herpes, even after 13 years together.
If it's bacterial, you need not only an antibiotic, but something to reestablish the correct balance in your vagina. I bought some probiotics at the health food store and took it for a while. That always seems to be a good thing to do, anyway.
Let us know what happens!