Paps do not test for herpes, but they do test for HPV.
Herpes can be tested for in 2 ways:
1) A swab of the infected area during an actual outbreak; OR
2) A blood test
Your boyfriends symptoms could potentially be caused by herpes....he needs to be tested. And you yourself, if you haven't had an outbreak, you need to ask for a blood test for herpes specifically (the ones in the US are called the Western Blot and the HerpeSelect Type-Specific IgG)....
Thank you so much for your reply. I'm going in search of somewhere to do a blood test in the morning. It's all very confusing, so I have this to deal with and the fact that I'm feeling so guikty because he still won't talk to me.