I may be the only person who ever comes to this site and gets excited and the possibility of an outbreak, but...
I was SO glad when I felt a bump on Saturday! Just one, not painful or uncomfortable, but I thought Woo Hoo! Maybe I'll have an outbreak! I would love to have just ONE itty bitty very easy outbreak, or heck even a big one...if it's just one!
Dh and I are SO frustrated not having any real answers as to how my boys got herpes. We know the statistics...85-88% contract it from the mother. So the assumption by us and all the docs is that I do. Which is not that big a deal. But it sucks being so unsure.
But then the bump was gone yesterday morning. So I guess it wasn't herpes after all.
I know nobody else around here is likely to relate to my disappointment, but who else was I gonna share my bump with???
On another note...it really frustrates me to read stuff about how it's the end of the world if someone gets genital (or even oral!) herpes! Don't get me wrong...everyone's situation is unique and so is their reaction, so I certainly would never judge anyone's thoughts or emotions. I just feel like most people with herpes out there really have no idea how bad it can really be. I mean, babies die from this junk! Yeah, outbreaks may be really really horribly bad. I get that! But when it's done life goes on. My son is monitored by all sorts of docs and physical/occupational therapists. We don't know if he'll walk or talk or learn properly. We sat in an ICU for weeks while docs told us he might die. I would take any outbreak any day to have saved him from that. After watching that, it seems an outbreak would be a walk in the park! I mean, I guess it's all relative and maybe most people just don't have anything to compare it to? I dunno...
Anyhow...I guess I can't quite articulate what I'm trying to say. It's been on my mind lately. Just thought I'd share it.
I totally understand your frustration and concern. I can imagine there´s nothing worse than being concerned over your children. You´d take any disease, how ever bad, if you could just keep your children healthy. So you have every right to feel bad and frustrated.
What ever problems we have in life we always look at them from our perspective. Someone might have a hughe pimple on their face and feel it´s the worst thing in the world, nothing else could compare. However we try to put things into a larger perspective our problems are always subjective. It´s hard to think that "well, I have this and this problem, but it could be worse".
I had my first herpes ob a month ago. I have no clue if it´s all gone or if I´m having smaller ob´s as we speak. I´m monitoring my body religiously, trying to figure out what is what and fearing every minute my next ob. I don´t know for sure who gave this to me and a thousand and one questions are running in my mind. I do have though strong suspicions on who gave it to me, but I can´t be sure. I wonder if the guy knew he has it or if he has no clue. I´m wondering what type I have, to early to tell, I´ll have to wait for a few more months for blood tests.
And I´m wondering and stressing about what my future is going to be like. You stress about your childrens future, I stress about mine. I´m a 32 year old female and have been single for years. I´d love to be in a relationship, form a family etc., have wanted that for a long long time but no possible boyfriends have come my way. So now I feel of course that the odds that I will meet someone are even slimmer, I´m scared that I will never have that special person in my life. I´ve always loved and enjoyed sex, in a relationship or as a single person. Now I have no clue how that part of my life is going to be, will I have to forget about all the fun you can have as a single person (with protection of course) while waiting and trying to find that special one.
I wish all the best for you and your family. Having a loving husband and children is all I want in this life, so what you have is a wonderful thing, and I´m sure you know it. Again, don´t get me wrong, I really understand your concern, and I send you all my prayers, courage and strength.
hsvmom, I totally understand what you are saying in terms of some people getting very upset about having herpes. In the context of oral herpes, I know it's hard to deal with recurrent outbreaks but literally half of the people in the world have this virus. It does not end your life. With genital herpes, 10-25% of people have it: once again, not life-ending.
But I think what gets to most people is the social stigma of herpes, having to tell partners that they have herpes and dealing with the fear that it may be passed on, rather than the outbreaks themselves.
preocupado...believe me, I am NOT trying to criticize anyone's reactions to their own circumstances, so I hope that I didn't come across that way. I guess I was just trying to say pretty much what you did, but like I said...just can't quite articulate it. It is very subjective. I KNOW I am SO blessed to have what I have! And my boys are more blessed then I hope they will ever be capable of understanding! I guess I was just putting my own recent thoughts out there, ya' know? I hope you get all you want from life and then a bit more. I NEVER thought I would ever have the life I do now, and I absolutely cherish every ordinary moment of it!
beaker...yes, I think you are right about the stigma issue. I am really pretty unaffected by it. I mean, I tell people ALL the time about my boys having herpes! I don't walk up to strangers and tell them, but people are curious and ask about them and if they had a hospital stay and I am very upfront about it. When people ask how that happened, I tell them that I probably have herpes and they probably contracted it from me. I wonder every time though if people are shocked that I would say such a thing?! I guess the whole social issue just wasn't my main concern when I found out, my boys were. That's NOT to say that the stigma shouldn't be a concern for a person, I think that's totally understandable. It just was a complete non-issue for me when compared to my boys' struggles at that moment. Also, the doctors we dealt with were absolutely impeccable! They made it a point from the moment they shook our hands to remind me at every opportunity that there is NOTHING to be ashamed of! I contracted herpes through perfectly normal and very healthy sexual behavior! I didn't do anything wrong or dirty and there's no reason to be ashamed of it. This virus is everywhere and the fact that I have it is NO reflection upon me or my lifestyle or previous sexual history. It's just a virus. They would tell me all that and I would nod my head but was still aghast! I told my family that my babies had "some viral infection." But I quickly realized that they were correct. And the ONLY way I could get past the indescribable guilt I felt was to realize that and put it in perspective, kwim? Anyhow...ALL of that to say, yes...I think you are right. It is probably the stigma and the disclosure that is more of an issue.
Thanks for giving me the place to share *my* thoughts on it. My situation is so different than everyone else's here so i usually try to lend my support or limited info, but don't really post much about where I am with it. I appreciate your "ears" so that I could get that off my chest, so to speak.
And...my boys are great! We were concerned that my oldest (with encephalitis) was falling behind with gross motor skills, but he started rolling this week!!! And my youngest (who rolled the previous week) has a tooth poking through! Oh, I never in a million years would have imagined that such simple accomplishments would have made me so proud!
Trust me, I dind´t feel at all that you critized the rest of the community here for their problems. This forum is for wenting feelings, sharing experiences and info, good and bad. Everything is wellcome, but of course good news are always inspirational to read.
You are very lucky in having such good doctors! Most of us have to find all the info on the internet and that really doesn´t help the situation. I still have this illusion doctors know everything and really they know very little about anything.
I´m in a foreign country myself right now and having no help from the doctors. I´m battling all of this by myself, friends and family on the other side of the world. There´s no lysine to be bought in stores, no help groups, nothing. Well, there wouldn´t be at home either, my country doesn´t have a help group network like the US and natural remedies aren´t sold in such a wide range.
So at the moment my "natural remedy and help group" is this web site. My second ob started yesterday, a month after my primary. Very confused about everything but at least glad I found this forum.