I totally understand your frustration and concern. I can imagine there´s nothing worse than being concerned over your children. You´d take any disease, how ever bad, if you could just keep your children healthy. So you have every right to feel bad and frustrated.
What ever problems we have in life we always look at them from our perspective. Someone might have a hughe pimple on their face and feel it´s the worst thing in the world, nothing else could compare. However we try to put things into a larger perspective our problems are always subjective. It´s hard to think that "well, I have this and this problem, but it could be worse".
I had my first herpes ob a month ago. I have no clue if it´s all gone or if I´m having smaller ob´s as we speak. I´m monitoring my body religiously, trying to figure out what is what and fearing every minute my next ob. I don´t know for sure who gave this to me and a thousand and one questions are running in my mind. I do have though strong suspicions on who gave it to me, but I can´t be sure. I wonder if the guy knew he has it or if he has no clue. I´m wondering what type I have, to early to tell, I´ll have to wait for a few more months for blood tests.
And I´m wondering and stressing about what my future is going to be like. You stress about your childrens future, I stress about mine. I´m a 32 year old female and have been single for years. I´d love to be in a relationship, form a family etc., have wanted that for a long long time but no possible boyfriends have come my way. So now I feel of course that the odds that I will meet someone are even slimmer, I´m scared that I will never have that special person in my life. I´ve always loved and enjoyed sex, in a relationship or as a single person. Now I have no clue how that part of my life is going to be, will I have to forget about all the fun you can have as a single person (with protection of course) while waiting and trying to find that special one.
I wish all the best for you and your family. Having a loving husband and children is all I want in this life, so what you have is a wonderful thing, and I´m sure you know it. Again, don´t get me wrong, I really understand your concern, and I send you all my prayers, courage and strength.
We´re all fortunate in one or another way