Hi, I am looking for some advice/input/guidance/anything on/for my situation. Last summer I briefly dated a girl who had gential HSV-1. She didn't tell me about her condition till after we had been sexually active. We used condoms on all occasions except one (and this was still before she told me). After she told me I went to see my doctor who just doesn't seem to have the answers I need. I've had two blood tests which came back negative for type 2 but the results for type 1 were unclear. The first test reported an IgM of .48 and the second one .55 for type 1. I was told this was normal but no one was able to tell me if this means I'm positive for an infection, just that I have normal antibody levels. I've never had anything that I can consider a classic outbreak but I have had and continue to have a sort of patchy redness of the skin on the head and shaft of my penis (sorry to be graphic, just trying to be clear about the symptoms). I am completely confused about what I should do next. If there is a chance I've been infected I don't want to pass this on to anyone but at the same time I don't want life to end. Any advice would be geatly appreciated...
Most people will test positive for HSV I since most people have it, it's very common. That's what your blood tests could be picking up since the tests can't determine where you have the infection (oral or genital) just that you have it. Did you try asking your doctor what the results meant? Sometimes they just presume you know and don't go into further explanations.
I was told as well, that most people will test positive for HSV1 from my dermotologist. I guess up too 80% of adults have it. You can have it with no symptoms or no breakouts. Many people dont know they have it, because I guess this blood test is not done with regular check up's, etc...Unfortunally it wont tell you where you have it, but what I have heard, most are in the mouth area. He said that you get it from kissing, sharing cups, etc...Most get it while there children.
Actually I did ask about the results. I was told until the antibody goes up very high (over 1.0) or I have a culture taken from an outbreak there's no way to know. Even if the antibody count goes up I still won't know if it's gential or oral. This really sucks...
I'm trying to be as cool as possible about this. I've already gone through enough but I'm just not sure how to handle this in a relationship mode. I mean, say I meet a girl and I think it might get serious. Now what? I don't want to lie but I don't want to scare the hell out her either. I feel like either way I'm going to lose here...
It's not easy, that's for sure, but the best thing to do is to find out as much information as you can about your own status and about type 1 and when you meet a girl and tell her about the h, you can do it from an informed (and calm) perspective. Once you know what the risks are yourself and how you can deal with them - yes, it sucks telling someone else if they react badly - but you will be in a position to be someone who does the right thing and tells another person before they get involved in an intimate way.
Probably around half the people in the world have type 1 orally and I would think the majority of them do not discuss with a partner before they kiss them or have oral sex with them that they have type 1 - a lot of them don't even know that they do have it... so... if it is any consolation, at least you know what you are dealing with.
