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Old 09-09-2005, 08:19 PM   #1
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Question Am I doomed to get Herpes I from my boyfriend?

I am dating this wonderful man who happens to have Herpes Type I. He has occasional fever blisters on his mouth. I don't know for sure I do not have Herpes I. I have never had a fever blister nor have I had blisters on my genitals. I realize many people carry the virus and do not know...I suppose I could possibly fall into this category but don't know for sure. I have a few questions....

1. The other night, I was kissing my boyfriend. I happened to look after we kissed and noticed that he had a small red area in the corner of his mouth. I knew it was a fever blister getting ready to form and my heart sank. It wasn't oozing but it was it was light and definitely in the first stages. The next morning or so, he said he had a fever blister. Since I kissed him that night, do I most likely have Herpes Type I now?

2. Occasionally, I have had the "tingling" feeling that fever blisters begin with for many years before meeting my boyfriend. I sometimes have a small bump afterwards that looks like a pimple but nothing more. It's usually not red and does not have any drainage, scabs, etc. Could this be a fever blister?

3. I have not had sex with my boyfriend yet although we are headed in that direction. I do not want to make him feel bad since such a large population of people have cold sores. However, now I am scared to have sex with him. Can he give me genital herpes (during oral sex) even when he does not have a fever blister on his mouth? Can we have oral sex when he does not have a fever blister? Can he transmit genital herpes by touching me?

4. Let's assume that my boyfriend passed Herpes to me the other night. How long before I have a fever blister?

Please advise. Thanks!

 
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Old 09-09-2005, 09:50 PM   #2
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Re: Am I doomed to get Herpes I from my boyfriend?

No you are not doomed. I'm 26 and have been married for 5 years. Before I met my husband I was involved with a guy who had fever blisters and we were together for quite some time. I kissed him and everything when he had fever blisters and I never contract anything. I have now been diagnosed with Genital Herpes, which my current husband passed to me through a fever blister. But to this day I have never had a fever blister on my lips. Just be cautious and don't worry yourself too much about it. Hope this helps.

 
Old 09-10-2005, 11:15 AM   #3
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Re: Am I doomed to get Herpes I from my boyfriend?

Gracie,
Hope these questions are not too stupid...do you know how you contracted genital herpes from your husband? What I mean is, did you have unprotected oral sex when he had an outbreak? Did it happen through just him touching you with his hands on your genitals during an outbreak? Or, did you contract it when you had sex with him when he did NOT have an outbreak? I have done some research and it looks like that oral sex is dangerous even when a person has not had an outbreak (fever blister on the mouth type for my situation).

I am sorry for all the questions. This man is so good to me. He is very special and I don't want fever blisters/herpes I to ruin a good relationship because I am worried. I don't know that I don't have it dormant in my system...both my parents have it. You would think I might have come in contact with it as a child.

I can see me marrying this man some day. We both want children so that will obviously require unprotected sex. My boyfriend does not have genital herpes that he knows of. I can't help but assess my risks of contracting herpes. I can easily deal with fever blisters on the mouth. However, genital herpes is a different story that I know you can relate to. Thanks so much for the reply. Good luck to you.

Last edited by jenebeka; 09-10-2005 at 11:17 AM.

 
Old 09-10-2005, 11:27 AM   #4
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Re: Am I doomed to get Herpes I from my boyfriend?

No questions are stupid! You can feel free to ask me anything. I'm not really sure how I contracted it, but after my husband and I discussed it we think the it was from where he went down on me (sorry to be so blunt) and he had a fever blister. I had been drinking the night it happend. It was about 6 months after we had gotten together. The next morning I got up and I was throwing up and noticed my first outbreak. It was scary. He was very supportive though and we have never let it change anything between us. We believe this is how I had to have contracted it considering we had been together many times (almost inseperatable) for the prior 6 months. As far as I know he does not have genital herpes. He has never had any symptoms or outbreaks since we've been together. As for me I take Acyclovir twice daily and I have only had about 2 outbreaks in the last 5 years. Yea!! Just be cautious when he has a fever blister and it will all be all right. Hope this helps. Keep me posted!

 
Old 09-10-2005, 08:05 PM   #5
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Re: Am I doomed to get Herpes I from my boyfriend?

Hi all...
I contracted herpes through oral sex as well.... My (then) boyfriend did not have an active sore at the time, but it came out a day or 2 later... I got it about 10 days later.
You can't fret over it, but just try to be cautious from now on. If you see a little pink mark on the corner of his lip, find someplace else to kiss him. I know plenty of couples where only 1 person gets cold sores and the other does not. As for your chances of having it now, noone can say. Most people get it within a 2 week time period, but some people get it years later (or never).
Good Luck!!

 
Old 09-11-2005, 06:41 PM   #6
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Re: Am I doomed to get Herpes I from my boyfriend?

Thanks for the replies and support.

I have two things right now that really concern me. I am trying to not make things bigger than they are but I am having trouble doing that.

First, I am concerned how I will handle the oral sex issue with him. We have not had sex yet. I am concerned about oral sex whether he has an outbreak or not (especially after reading previous posts here). I don't want to make him feel bad or uncomfortable just because he has something that a huge population of people have. I don't know that I don't have it dormant in my system either and don't want to give him genital herpes.

Second, the other night when I noticed the light pink mark on his mouth (when it was too late), hate to be blunt, he had fingered me already. So, there is a chance that he passed it me that way as well. This scares me more than anything right now. I am trying not to worry...if I have it, I have it. I think of the embarrassing trip to the doctor's office...you all have been through this I'm sure.

I wish I could not worry about all of this. I know to be more cautious know. I am always cautious as much as possible. I care about this man very much. I guess I will find out more about him as we get closer to being even more intimate. I think back now over the years of the different boyfriends where kissing was a far as things went. Plus, I think back to times past where I might have shared food, drank after a friend, etc. Then I think, of the three people I have been with, do I really know for sure they didn't have it? After doing the research about herpes, I am surprised I have never had a fever blister or more with the percentage of people with the disease.

Any suggestions on dealing with the oral sex issue in a way that won't make my boyfriend feel bad??? I am trying not to overreact but one can never be too cautious these days. He was very careful last night...no kissing, touching, etc since he has an outbreak. I am glad of that because there are people out there that wouldn't care a bit.

Last edited by jenebeka; 09-11-2005 at 06:45 PM.

 
Old 09-14-2005, 08:33 PM   #7
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Re: Am I doomed to get Herpes I from my boyfriend?

The oral sex issue....
(Everyone PLEASE correct me if I am wrong) I was thinking back to my college human sexuality class and remembered something about protection when having oral sex. It was mentioned that a woman could protect herself by putting a sheet of saran wrap over your genital area (oh, if I had only remembered this a year and a half ago...) as a barrier between your body and your partner's mouth.
This is just what was told to me. I'm adding my own disclaimer: not 100% fool proof. I don't think anything is when dealing with herpes. So, read up, ask questions and don't be embarassed about asking anyone. People in the health/medical field have heard and seen just about everything

All I can say is that when I get to the point where I can let my boyfriend give me oral again, I'm going to try it (provided that I'm not completely full of bologna on this whole saran wrap thing). Despite the fact that my boyfriend gave me genital herpes, I still care for him and want to be with him. Being able to make love to him was the one of the greatest gifts I had. Once I get to the point where we can do that again, it's going to mean even more. At this point, the saran wrap thing doesn't sound stupid to me. I think he and I are beyond that point where you care about appearences. I imagine that if I whipped out a roll of wrap, we'd have a great laugh about it and still have wonderful sex. The important part is being able to laugh and move on without it seriously effecting anything.

So, good luck and let me know!

 
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