Yes, It can be dormant for many years and just poke it's ugly little head out. Alot of people have h and don't even know about it and have never had any symptoms of having it. There are also people who have only had one OB ever, but they can still spread it just the same. Now that you know she has it, you should do some reading up on it and learn to the best of your knowledge how to prevent getting it.
My doctor also told me that it is hard to diagnose someone with having it if they have never had an OB (or are not having one). Most of the time they take cultures and it is possible to have it and the test come back as false negatives.
You have found a good group. Do plenty of reading, but remember everyone and their symptoms and treatments are different.
Yes, it could have come from either of you, and from a previous relationship. We once had a guy on this board get his primary ob--and he had been celebate for over 10 years. Why don't you get a blood test? The results aren't 100% accurate, but perhaps you would learn something. Also, do research on the test she had. Why does her dr say she has had it less than 12 months? Could he be wrong? Many drs are, concerning herpes.
In your first message you wrote that you had been tested and the test came back negative. If that is the case then you have not had herpes for YEARS because your blood test would have came back positive. Say you did have herpes for years, but never showed symptoms of it, you would still test positive for herpes with a blood test. So either you cheated on her recently and gave it to her, but the antibodies have not had a chance to show up in your blood test. That can take on average 3-6 months. Or she is covering up the fact that she either cheated on you recently or got it from her ex husband, but never showed symptoms of it until recently, and therefore never bothered to get tested either and see that she had had it for some time. I read online that even though you don't show symptoms for years, a blood test would still show whether or not you have herpes. If you know you were faithful, then the finger should point at her. Don't take crap from people who lie about cheating and then try and turn the table to blame you. That's just my opinion and advice. Good luck!
One other thing, I don't know how her doctor would know how long she has had herpes for, unless she has had previous herpes tests and they came back negative. A blood test and culture don't indicate how long you've had herpes for. The only other way I can think one would know is that her first symptoms were very severe, described as a primary outbreak which is worse than the subsequent outbreaks. A primary outbreak consists of swollen glands, fever, and the regulars symptoms that can last up to 4 weeks. Although I believe I have herpes and my primary outbreak has been going on for 9 weeks now! My first blood test came back negative, so I know if I next test positive who to blame for infecting me. I don't think it's that hard to determine like people say (unless you sleep around a lot). I don't understand how people cannot know they are experiencing some type of STD infection. I think for the most part people live in denial and don't want to know. Even if you get a tiny sore, or redness, that's an indication that something is not right and you should get tested. Even without symptoms getting tested for STD/STIs should be a part of one's regular yearly physical exam if you are not married or in a long-term relationship with someone you feel totally confident about their faithfulness.
Just wanted to add my 2 cents.....Blame doesn't change anything and it's really a waste of precious energy, just deal with the facts.....It's not like you can change any of it anyway.....Peace, -shinyOrn
Am I incorrect when i say that there is a chance he may have had a cold sore, had some sort of oral encounter occured and she got it that way?
I hope this helps... this is what happened to me
Because My fiance and I have been dating for 2 years and when I found out I had herpes we had been dating for just over a year! I never cheated and I believe he didnt cheat either. I had one outbreak and that was a year ago now. My doctor couldnt tell me how long ive had it? But I did hear it could lay dormant for a long lengh of time and never arrouse!
My fiance has never had any symptoms nor has he had an outbreak. He hasnt been tested yet but we figure no need. We gave up on trying to figure out where it came from and who got it first because it became apparent we would most likely never know where to pin-point it.
We are now just as sexually active as we were before but we are careful about cleaning ourselves and like others may mention we dont do anything if i feel wierd which has only been once.
I hope I helped a bit and gave you some comfort that she may not have cheated...
The 12 month issue deals with the severity of her initial outbreak. A primary outbreak (as described above - more than just sores - but aches and pains and such) is an indication that the person having the outbreak does not have anti-bodies in their body as of yet. If they don't have anti-bodies present then this is their first exposure to herpes and it presents itself in more than just sores - but is flu like and more prolonged. For people who might be exposed to herpes and do not develop symptoms for a long while (months to years) and end up eventually having an outbreak years down the road, that initial outbreak is not as severe as what a primary outbreak would be - simply because they have antibodies that limit the severity. Of course, you almost have to have at least two outbreaks to know the difference between a "primary" outbreak (when anti-bodies are not present in your body yet) and other outbreaks that are less severe.
Thus if she had a primary outbreak and you know for a fact that you have been faithful to her and you have had a blood test to show you have no anti-bodies present, then I'd say it was a good chance that she fooled around.
They can tell how long a person has been infected by looking at the antibody response, which are IGG and IGM. I can't remember which one is the primary resonder but if that shows up that means the antibodies are pretty new. After a while the antibodies will refelct the other result which means the person has had the virus for a while.