I'll help as much as I can. I'm just the kind of person that's going to find out everything there is to know about something when it affects me! There is so much info if you just do a search for stuff like...symptoms of herpes, similarities between hsv1 and hsv 2(called the truth about HSV-1 & HSV-2) there's a great article about that at one of the herpes com sights, then someone suggested to search for Terry (Terri) Warren's manual called The Herpes Manual (great read and easy to find searching). I quickly learned of all the symptoms by experiencing them and realizing that not everyone has to have much of a symptom to have it like my BF.
Notsure: From reading all I've read here and by searching, I've learned that you can have it for a long time without symptoms too! I don't agree with the doctor saying that he must have gotten it from you...he probably got it a year ago from that girl(my assumption). He CANNOT say that he got it thirty days ago... you know that you weren't with anyone else for three years and you don't have any symptoms...right! So now your BF is going to think that you are lying to him and have been messing around because that doctor is an idiot. I was with my BF for 9 months before any "noticable" signs of it came up. Then he had an OB again and just a couple days later, I got this full blown OB. But looking back I remember that I had a few bumps that I just brushed off as nothing. The very first time I was with my BF, he had a small sore on his penis that we just thought was nothing. Then about 9 months later, he had another sore and then just a couple days later I have the OB. Then, just a few days later, he got sores on his face from oral sex! Sheesh! It's been a nightmare but nothing that has happened to us is unheard of and has happened to others. I know that I wasn't with any one and a doctor can't tell me I gave it to him because I didn't!!!!! Have you had any itching or thought you had a yeast infection or just a little burning since he was with that other woman? Maybe a little bump you thought was from shaving? Signs can be very minor. Your BF may have had a sign right about his affair and didn't notice it because it was minor and unnoticable. Just the smallest of sores can be herpes...I know because that's all my BF gets! Let me just tell you this story...my BFs EX more than likely has herpes(they were together 14 years having unprotected sex) but my BF had no idea he had it and I asked him if his EX had any sign of a sore or anything and he said "NO" he never saw a sore and she never said she has a sore...but he has told me on several different occasions that the EX was always drinking cranberry juice for bladder infections(she thought) and always getting yeast infections(she thought)...I think that these ARE her symptoms of herpes. Since I've had the OB and brought to light that he has had it for years without even knowing the symptoms...he has not told her that she more than likely has herpes so she's just going through life clueless and has probably given it to her BF.
I read these board pretty often so I will probably be here to answer whatever you want to know and I'll try to answer the best I can. This is just my opinion on this virus...I think that WAY more people have herpes than is even suspected and it's so common(1 in 4 have it). It concerns me greatly that people think nothing of fever blisters but act like having genital herpes is like leprosy. They aren't aware that having oral sex spreads cold sores (hsv1) to the genitals and gives genital herpes this scares me! If we would all stop being so afraid of the subject of sex, we would all be better off. We need to be educated on this virus because we really don't want to catch it. I know that some people think...OH well, it's not any big deal, it's just a little bump so what's the big deal having it? Well it is a big deal because they could give it to someone and they don't have a little bump, they have all the symptoms know to mankind and are sick for 2 months like me! If all herpes was was just a little sore...it wouldn't be any big deal to have. Blah blah blah...I'm just ranting now so I'll quit!
EDIT~Notsure: Something else I was thinking about...has to do with what doc said~If a person has an OB by thirty days(according to BF's doctor) and your BF got it from you...where's your "by thirty days" OB? I can't believe a doctor would say that!
It's even possible that you don't even have herpes yet! It isn't a 100% guarantee that you have it just because your BF does! So I would use caution when your BF gets an OB to not touch it and don't have sex when there is an active sore and don't just assume "OH well, he has it so I must too!"
Get tested to make sure that your do or don't have it.