Please keep your fingers crossed for me!!! - Herpes Message Board

stillme23 · 12-29-2005, 06:54 PM

Hey All,

I posted not to long ago that I was diagnosed with HSV after my boyfriend left for Iraq. Well after dealing with it alone for the past two months i've decided that I can't hold it in any longer. It's completely tearing me apart, not knowing if he's going to leave me over it or not. I am to the point where I cry everyday, I puke almost everyday, I don't leave my room, I don't take phone calls, I just don't want to have anything to do with anything. SO! I wrote him a 6 paged letter giving him all of the facts and all I could think of is right there as plain as day in black and white for him. I wrote and revised wrote and revised and it is ready to go. Please keep me in your prayers for I love this man very much and yes it is possible that I got it from him but in a couple of weeks (takes a while to get there) I will know where we stand on the issue. I'm posting cause I need all of the support I can get at the moment for I am going to be really uneasy until I get word from him that he has gotten my letter.

Thanks All!!!

keepsgoin · 12-30-2005, 12:40 PM

Maybe, he's had a niggling feeling that he's had herpes all along too? Way too many people have little symptoms that go ignored. I believe it's because of the stigma attached to herpes. I just wish people would admit somethings not right and go get tested instead of thinking it "cannot possibly happen to me". When I got my OB, as soon as I realized what it must be, I told my BF that those little bumps he gets on his penis must be herpes and that's how I got it. He was appalled by my suggestion but once we started researching it, there's no denying that his bumps are herpes. He, as many people, always thought that if you have herpes you know it by having sores all over your genitals. Well we all know that's not the way herpes is don't we! All of us that have read everything we can get our hands on! He's gotten several OBs since we've been together now and it's so obviously herpes I could just kick myself for not knowing what it was in the first place.

Audrey-B · 12-30-2005, 06:51 PM

Stillme, you are doing the right thing by telling him. It's not a topic which can be hidden and he would have to find out sooner or later. If you have both had previous partners then it's possible that he gave it to you or that you caught it off somebody and only you have the virus and he hasn't caught it yet. There are so many possibilities.

I'm certain that so many people go through soul destroying thoughts after they get their results and want to close themselves off from the world. People with partners think "will my partner leave me" and those without partners think "will anybody ever want me". Either way, our thoughts mostly centre around "love" and "partners". Those who are in a happy relationship where both have the herpes virus or one partner has accepted the other and accepts the fact that they may catch the virus one day, seem to be the happiest as they feel that they are loved and accepted by the other half and they simply get on with their life. So everybody can understand your fears 100%.

There isn't much i can say which will help your anxiety, but the sooner you hear from him the better it will be, no matter what the news is. Waiting is the most difficult part. The anxiety wouldn't be doing much good to your system either, if you are anything like me, it would bring on the ob's. It would be so much easier if this virus didn't have the awful stigma which is attached to it. It would help that the medical profession and schools get better educated on this virus so that they can give realistic and correct information and advice to those who have herpes and to those who want to know how to not get herpes.

I wish you all the very best and hope to hear good news soon. Take care

stillme23 · 12-30-2005, 08:57 PM

I hope I am doing the right thing. I am really struggling with the fact that I am laying this on him while he is in the middle of a combat zone. Initially I decided to wait until at least this summer when he got leave, but considering what it has been doing to me mentally and physically, I just can't wait anymore, I know it's bad that I am causing him extra stress while he is over there but I am not helping myself get well so to speak by keeping this from him. Please keep him in your prayers, I hope this doesn't make things worse for him, if anything happened to him because I stressed him out I would never forgive myself.

keepsgoin · 12-31-2005, 08:21 AM

I think that the only wrong thing would be to NOT TELL HIM...it is of course hard as heck to do it, but telling him is what you needed to do. You have yourself all stressed out like you gave this to him but you realize that he could have given it to you too although you may never know what is the truth. And just because he doesn't have a symptom of it doesn't mean he got it from you! Do you know if you have hsv1 or 2? You could have gotten hsv1 from his mouth? I just assume that everyone these days has oral sex? I know that there are still a few old schoolers that don't but I'll assume you do? BTW, I'm not asking for an answer...

haha!!!!!