Question - Herpes Message Board

saragirl · 05-03-2006, 01:00 PM

How many of you have felt the need to seek professional counseling to deal with the emotional affects of the virus? Some days I feel so hopeful and then others I feel like this means I will forever alone and unwanted. I just wondered if for most people it gets better over time or if professional support was helpful. Thanks!

GettingWellAgain · 05-03-2006, 09:29 PM

Hi Saragirl,

I am also considering seeking professional help both for dealing with having herpes and dealing with my other medical issues that can be stressful as well. I was actually pretty optimistic a couple of weeks ago about herpes, but it was because I assumed that I would get very infrequent OB's on antivirals, which apparently isn't the case. It's like I'm not even taking antivirals at all; the OB's just keep on coming. I am lucky in the respect that I don't get huge blisters and extreme pain, but my symptoms are certainly uncomfortable and whether or not my symptoms are extreme or minor, I hate knowing that I can spread the virus! I will be dealing semi-okay with having herpes until I get a bad OB, which I'm having now. I can't seem to help falling to pieces when this is just going on and on day after day without breaks! I see that in your response to my other thread you said that you are taking OOO and OLE; I have really considered trying one of those alternatives, but I also know that both can cause a herxheimer reaction, or a "die-off" reaction. I don't know if you're familiar with the term, but basically it's when toxins enter your bloodstream because fungus/bacteria in your system is being killed off. I know for a fact that I still have bowel Candida yeast issues (I have CFS), and I'm really actually scared of the initial die-off reaction. Not everyone gets it, and it basically consists of flu-like symptoms temporarily. I should WANT to experience this so that I get better, but with how bad I'm feeling right now I don't know if I can deal with that. My fatigue (from my CFS) is so horrible right now that I don't think my body can take any more stress, so I'm really leary about trying the OOO and OLE. I saw someone on a thread here mention that Noni Juice helped them, and I am thinking about trying that. I bought garlic tablets a couple of days ago, but I think it's too soon to tell if it's going to be effective. I got extra upset today because my boyfriend, before he left for work, hinted about wanting to have sex later. We've been getting along so horribly lately that I didn't want to say right away, "I can't, I'm having an outbreak", but I'm going to have to tell him later if he tries to initiate anything with me. I know he's depressed about that lack of sex we're having now, and I feel so guilty that I can't stand it! Whatever happens, I'm going to have to try hard to pull myself together, because this is even affecting my performance in college because I can't think straight when all I feel is itching and tingling and burning all day. With each tingle, I feel more guilt, as well. I almost wish that I wasn't in a relationship because if I wasn't, I wouldn't mind the OB's so much. If it was just me I had to worry about and I couldn't give anyone else this horrible virus, I would just let it run its natural course. I was thinking about viral shedding today; when the body "sheds" herpes, does this mean the levels of the virus in the body lower each time it sheds? If so, does this mean that the reason the severity and frequency of the virus decreases is because of viral shedding? I'm thinking that since maybe I'm decreasing my viral shedding with antivirals, I'm keeping high levels of herpes in my body. Am I right in thinking this?

~Katalina

braizzle · 05-03-2006, 09:50 PM

Professional counseling is great for helping you feel good about yourself again. I would recommend it. It might also be good to check out a support group in your area... I haven't done this yet, but I plan on going next week just to check it out...hopefully I'll meet some other people who are dealing with similar issues. It's just hard for me to go because I'm scared everyone there will be way older than me, or creepy looking. But, it doesnt hurt to check it out... so that what I'm doing!

Tahoe2 · 05-10-2006, 06:12 PM

I have read a lot of your posts and my heart goes out to you. I have now had this for about 6 years now and trust me, it will get better. I no longer take any kind of medication (except for advil) and every year at my annual gyn. appt. she asks when my last OB was and I always tell her so long ago I can't even remember. When I first contract this it was bad...and very painful. My first OB was HORRIBLE!!! I really thought I could slit my wrists too. The hard thing for me was that I always felt the need to explain my situtation when I went to my gynocologist for the fear that she would think I was sleeping around. People always associate herpes with "dirty" or "permiscuous" people and that's not me. The weird thing about this whole situation is that I actually married the man I contracted this from. He had been with the same girl for 7 years in a commited relationship and never showed signs or had symptoms. We had been dating for about 4-5 months when I contracted it. I was heart broken and so was he. He cried and cried. It was a really tough time for us. Even so much so, that he said he couldn't be me b/c he knew he had hurt me so bad. We just celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary and have be together for a total of 7 years. Things will get better for you! I just always try to remind myself that I'm not the only "normal" person with this problem. Take care! And PS, try to stay as stress free as possible. I know that's hard, but stress brings those OB's on!

braizzle · 05-10-2006, 07:43 PM

So, I didnt make it to the support group this month... it was last night, and, well, I had to pick up my roomate from work, and I didnt want to tell her where I was going. But yeah, about that explaining to your gyno thing that tahoe2 mentioned...Last time I went, she didnt even ask about it. I was thinking, didnt you see it in my file?? why arent you asking me how it's going??? but whatever. I definately think talking to a therapist about this stuff is helpful. Don't feel scared about talking to a professional about it... you pay them to listen, and sometimes that all ya need.. get it off your chest, vent a little, and hopefully you will get some words of encouragement in return. If ya think about it, sure, they might judge you, or think down on you, but thats not their job. Their job is to get you to move on emotionally, and that's whats important. If you dont like them, you find a new one.