I'm sorry to hear that your test came back positive. I deal with those feelings you described on a regular basis! It will help to read through some of the threads and to see that you are not alone. I also think that focusing on yourself and learning how to care for yourself to manage this virus is where your focus should be right now. I find I feel so much more in control (and have fewer outbreaks) when I am taking care of myself physically and emotionally. For me the emotional stuff is hard but it is a vicious cycle of worry, depression, outbreak, worry, depression, outbreak. So...all of that to say that this is an extremely common virus (in my town 1 in 3!) and it is manageable. Love is out there for you, but love yourself first! Ok that's enough of "self-help" mumbo jumbo!