smartypants68

Just like many of you, I went to the doctor for a routine appointment and asked to get a complete physical - blood work, pap smear, aids test, the works. Having not gotten the phone call requesting that I come back in to see the doctor, I proceed to begin a new sexual relationship, using protection, of course, but sexual nonetheless. After a couple of weeks, I still hadn't received my test results in the mail, but given my recent move I assumed that they sent it to the old address so I called my nurse to inquire. As I was giving her my new info, I said, "well, I guess since you didn't call, everything came back ok" to which she replied "all good". Now that she had the correct address, I requested a copy of my results be mailed.

During all of this, my sexual relationship took off, but instead of it just being about sex, we started to emotionally connect, he's great, we're having a great time and we really like each other. Nothing is complicated, hard or difficult. The feeling is mutual, I go on the pill, we stop having unprotected sex, life is good.

Of course, you've already figured out that when I received the results, it said (and I quote) "Good news! Everything came back great, with the exception of the Herpes 2, which I'm sure is old..." ***??? I've been going to this doctor for, oh, I don't know, about 10 YEARS!!!!! and 1) given that I've never had any symptoms, outbreaks, etc.... and the issue has never been raised during any exam or appointment wouldn't she think that this might be news to me? and 2) why isn't a herpes test been PART of the STD testing that I'd had in the past (of course, this is a whole other topic!) and why was this the first time I was getting one?

Anyhoo, back to my story. Spent the rest of the day, night and this morning reading everything I can find online. I call the doctor this morning to try to get in to see her today, which I can't, so I leave a message that I NEED to speak to her about my test results and now, (tic, tic, tic) it's noon and I still haven't heard from her.

What I'm freaking out about is this guy that I've been seeing. We are incredibly compatible, he's sexy, handsome and we have worked out a really good thing that compliments where our lives are and what we are able to commit to at this time. No serious relationship or anything, but it's soo good and I'm so happy with it. But I really do care about him, and if I knew that I had HSV2, I NEVER would have had sex without telling him and now knowing that I MIGHT have exposed him or even infected him is killing me. And I HAVE to tell him, because he means too much to me and not telling him, lying to him or infecting him would be worse than just owning up and telling him the truth even if he walks away. I've spent the whole morning crying just thinking about sitting down with him tonight and talking to him about all of this. Since our whole thing is pretty much based on sex, I can't see him wanting to stay around and risk it, just to have it affect the rest of his life since I'm not necessarily part of that picture. But I've let my guard down, developed feelings for him and can't imagine losing him. I'm so sad and so confused. And I just continue to cry.