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How soon after sex you can get H - please help!

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Old 05-16-2006, 06:50 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2006
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Gemini99 HB User
How soon after sex you can get H - please help!

Hello everybody,

I am new to all this. I met a great guy, and when things started develop fast between us, he told me that he has HSV 2, which he contracted 2 years ago. He said that he had several relationships since, and nobody got it from him... (can it be?) I don't have herpes, never even had a cold sore in my life. I was shocked, but I already liked this guy too much to give him up, and also I liked his honesty. I have never met anyone like him, he makes me feel special. We waited until his outbreak was over and 2 days ago we had sex for the first time. We used a condom, he had a problem with erection and penetration did not occur, but we did everything else - oral (giving and receiving), manual stimulation, anal stimilation. Oh my God how I like this guy. He wants to do it again soon, and we will continue using condoms, but I now feel burning in my vagina and I wonder if I already contracted this? How I can prevent it? Can it be so fast, and without penetration? If he comes in my mouth and I swallow, can I get H in my mouth? Are there some desinfectants that we can use to kill the virus? I also wonder if I get it if there a way to eliminate burning, pain etc.. maybe I am crazy, probably I am, but I am in love with this guy.. I just hope that this relationship will last even if I get if from him... please help! G.

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Old 05-16-2006, 07:47 PM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 53
saragirl HB User
Re: How soon after sex you can get H - please help!

First of all the burning could be caused by a variety of things so just give it some time. Condoms are not extremely affective in preventing the spread of HSV. Your best prevention is him knowing his body and when he is "shedding" the virus which is sometimes accompanied by tingling and burning, but sometimes people are shedding (which bascially means they are at the beginnning of an outbreak) with so symptoms. use condoms, wash with soap and water (vaginally and on your face) after any sexual conduct. Also, you might want to go ahead and get a blood test for HSV2 since you can have herpes and never know it. Read through some of these threads and educate yourself. There are plenty of people who have HSV and have sex without spreading the virus. Educate yourself and it will take some the anxiety away.

Old 05-16-2006, 08:04 PM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2003
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Posts: 956
GettingWellAgain HB User
Re: How soon after sex you can get H - please help!

Hi Gemini,

I agree with everything Saragirl has said. I have seen people on these boards who have requested or have been given a blood test for herpes, and they were positive, even though they have never had any signs of symtoms. It wouldn't be crazy to go get one done, since 1 in 4 adults has herpes, and 50% of college students (from what I've read). I think it's great that you are still willing to start a relationship with someone you know has herpes--so many more people than we think have herpes, and there are so many couples out there where one partner has herpes and the other one doesn't. I have herpes so my statement could be biased, but I just think it would be such a shame if you missed out on a great, loving relationship over a recurring (and sometimes not recurring) skin rash. I just got diagnosed with H not too long ago, and I admit that I probably would not have a one-night stand kind of thing with someone who I knew had herpes, but if it was probably for the long-haul, I definitely would. Herpes is more than a "skin rash" for some people, and can have serious emotional effects, but if it is properly managed and understood, it is something that can absolutely be dealt with. As for your original question, I have *heard* of people having herpes symptoms as soon as 2 days after exposure, but I *believe* the average time for contracting the virus is 2-20 days, someone please correct me if I'm wrong. You said that you "did everything but intercourse"; the burning you are experiencing could possibly be from those "other activities" rather than herpes, especially if there wasn't penetration. As for disinfectants, plain soap and water kills the virus, as well as rubbing alcohol and peroxide. I personally use peroxide on myself frequently, and I have heard of couples using soap and water, and then peroxide, after sex. Also, remember that although the virus doensn't live on inanimate objects/surfaces for very long, it is THEORETICALLY possible to get herpes from:

--using your boyfriend's razor right after him
--using a wet towel after your boyfriend after he wiped his genitals/affected area.

I don't think either of these scenarios are extremely common, but they are possibly. But, on the other hand, the scenarios are only possible if your bf is experiencing viral shedding, which usually occurs right before the OB and during the OB. Some experience viral shedding regularly, but no one can be exactly sure when they are "shedding" the virus. Studies are now showing that taking antiviral drugs as suppressive therapy can reduce viral shedding.

Take Care,

Vestibular problems, CFS, adrenal issues.

Old 05-17-2006, 02:47 PM   #4
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Posts: 1,542
keepsgoin HB User
Re: How soon after sex you can get H - please help!

I think it would be a very good idea to go ahead and be tested for herpes. If you have been sexually active in the past...protected or may very well already have the virus in your body and don't even know it. Anyway...that way if you already have it then you can stop worrying about catching it. Don't assume that you'd know it if you have it...believe you me...most people don't know! Your BF has no idea if his other partners have gotten herpes from him unless they went and had blood tests done. I would never have given up the relationship I have with my BF had I known he had herpes (and gave it to me)...I just wish that he would have known he had it so I could have been careful and avoided sex during an OB that he/we didn't know was an OB. Our total ignorance of herpes is the reason why I now have it because we didn't know that a little raw looking spot was herpes! Please research the many sites on the web and read about herpes so you will know how to protect yourself for getting herpes. For most people it's not a big deal(most have it with no symptoms!) but for some it's been a nightmare of constant illness!

You can have herpes symptoms as soon as 2 days after exposure. You can get herpes on your mouth from giving oral sex. Just remember, it's touching the lesion that spreads the virus...not the semen unless as pointed out in another thread a lesion could be in the urethra which could theoretically make the virus present in semen. You'll need to be careful about touching his penis and then touching yourself. The reason a condom doesn't protect you 100% is that if he has a lesion up in an area that the condom doesn't could touch that lesion to yourself. Washing with soap and water is very important.
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Old 05-18-2006, 05:43 AM   #5
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keepsgoin HB User
Re: How soon after sex you can get H - please help!

I'm going to add another comment to this which just adds to my point about people having herpes but don't know it:

As most of you know from reading my posts that I got this from my BF that didn't recognize his symptoms as herpes. When I broke out in a major OB, I knew he gave it to me and I knew the little raw spot on his penis that I ignored was the culprit...I hammered him about his EX girlfriend and did she ever have any kind of sores or anything that would indicate she had herpes. They were sexually active for a couple years and did not use condoms. He said that she never said anything about sores or anything but I have remembered him telling me that she took acidophilus for yeast infections and was always drinking Cranberry Juice for her bladder infections. So I believe that even though she doesn't have a clue that she has herpes...I think the constant yeast infection symptoms and the constant battling of a bladder infections is really just herpes OBs and she just doesn't know it. Back when my BF was a young man(grew up in the 70s), he's 50 now, he had many sexual partners and one night stands and he said that noone ever said to him that he gave them herpes or asked him about herpes. Even though he had many sexual partners "back in the day" he was still startled to learn that HE could have herpes because it only happens to dirty people...WHAT!? Don't ask me what he was thinking?
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Last edited by keepsgoin; 05-18-2006 at 04:55 PM.

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