I did not tell before hand
Well no place but to start from the top. I have done something that many of you may have done, had done to you, or have not done. Now that covers a lot of ground. I have to make a decision about what to do now. I want to do the right thing but like so many I am was scared. Being scared is what got me in this situation. Some may call it selfish, call it what you want but let's not throw stones. I am airing mine here. The laundry is not all out but there is where I want it to be.
I have H, and I slept with some one that I care about with out telling them. I love this person and Ii am pretty sure that he loves me. He says that he does and Ii believe him and I am sure that he knows that I love him. I have known him for a few months this was the first time it happened. Other times I have turned him down because I thought I would tell him...I thought I would tell him...but I did not. When it came down to it I failed my self and I failed him. We made an agreement not to lie to each other no matter what, Yes I know by not telling him is kind of a lie in itself. But I did not plan on that happening that night, I just could not bring my self to blurt it out in the heat of the moment and spoil everything, although I realize that I may have by not saying anything at all.
The thing is I want to tell him. I really do but I AM scared that he will just call it quits because I did not anttie up this info from the start. We never had an STD conversation, talk or what ever. We did not use any protection at all. I feel so stupid and all of the above that you all are probably thinking and some will type in their replies. Can I ever recover? The only fair chance that I think that I have is to tell him even now, I KNOW THAT WILL is hard, and I guess that is the price that I will have to pay for not being so up front. But how would you all react. Would you take into account that I told you along with the fact that I did not tell you? Please be honest, there is no time or space here for hurt feelings that is a day late and a dollar short. The other option I have is just to not say anything or to hint around to the affect that we should talk about it meaning the STDís. What if he already has it, but I don't think that is the case? I am going back and forth between the two. I REALLY THINK THAT I should tell him, and I REALLY WANT TO TELL HIM but I guess like my original situation I don't know how or when. Obviously no time is really the right time or place. As I see it happened in my situation.
I am trying to keep in mind that this is a pretty liberal person that has been honest enough to tell me some of the mistakes in life that were pretty deep to fess up to me and to whom ever the other situations included. So please don't just look at this thread and keep on truckiní. I mean we don't know each other perfect strangers why not help each other out. It think that it is pretty obvious that Ii have made a mistake and I will have to live with it the rest of my life and I also know that I will have to live with him living with a mistake that Ii made and I am trying my best to correct it before too much time passes. I am no fishing for sympathy. Just advice and experience. Thanks