You better believe that painful urination is or could be a symptom of herpes...definately...and pain in your pelvis. For some, it's the only symptom they will ever have. That's one of the reasons that people can have herpes and not know it...I mean, who would have dreamed that painful urination is a symptom of herpes? I sure didn't know that...that is, not until I started doing research on herpes. In my head, herpes was blisters in the genitals...that simply isn't true for very many herpes sufferers. Many people will say that they never knew they had herpes because they didn't have any symptoms but it's usually not that they didn't ever have any symptoms, it's more likely that they had some symptom but it never crossed their mind that would be herpes. For example, what woman hasn't had an itch that she assumes is a yeast infection...you use some over the counter treatment and it's gone right...well just think how many of those cases were not really yeast infections at all, they were really a herpes OB but the woman assumed that she used the yeast infection treatment and the itch went away that she had a yeast infection and never once thinks another thing about it. She doesn't go and have a herpes blood test done or anything...then one day she has this sore down there and finally goes to the doctor and is told it's herpes...then she assumes her BF of 5 years gave it to her...HA! But she doesn't remember is that "YI" years ago.
As far as spreading it when you don't have any symptoms, that is called Shedding and I don't think any of us can say how to know if you are shedding...there just is no way to know. The virus is present without any symptoms and can be spread to your partner. I believe that any time you have herpes, there is a certain risk of your partner catching it no matter how careful you try to be. For most people, herpes doesn't effect their well being and most people that have herpes will never, throughout their entire lives, even have a clue that they have herpes. The real problem with herpes is the stigma attached. Any time you have sex with someone, you are taking a risk of catching herpes. It's just life in the big city...people just have to use condoms and do the best they can and if you catch it...well, such is life! There are a lot of way worse things in life then having herpes!!!!!!