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Old 04-11-2007, 10:05 PM   #1
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asanders319 HB User
Nice story for y'all, my girlfriend's herpes saved my life (sort of)

Hi all, thought i'd share a little story with you.

So my girlfriend and i have been together a few months now. We met when i moved here through a mutual friend who had gone to college with her, who gave me her number. Things started out friendly but began to move in a romantic direction, at which point she told me she had contracted herpes around 2 years ago. I knew very little about H but began a sexual relationship anyway. After only a few days of intimacy i got extremely nervous, basically overwealmed with anxiety about what i was doing and the implications it could have on my life.

Anyway, i came here and alot of the things that people in y'all's little community had to say eased some of my concerns and helped me realize that i wasn't necessarily dealing with some monster that was going to make my penis explode. The things i read here were largely responsible for my decision to give her a chance and commit to a legitimate relationship, which is something i haven't done for a long time.

Anyhow, i went to the doctor to get myself tested when it became apparent that i might already have H or other STI's and not know it (my sexual history is somewhat shady). I ended up testing positive for syphilis (which i thought was essentially eradicated but learned has made quite the comeback in the last two years or so). Because of what she had dealt with, she was extremely supportive. We've abstained from sexual activity for two weeks now with one more to go as i finish treatment, which has actually been interesting as it's allowed us to get a little creative.

I guess my point is, by giving her a chance, i put myself in a relationship with someone who wouldn't be disgusted by the concequences of a bad decision of my own. I'm happier than i have been in years. A recent college graduate, i moved here on the tail end of a 4 year drinking binge that had me avoiding any sort of real intimacy, and sleeping with whoever would come home with me. I finally met someone i was compatible with and thanks in large part to things i read here (especially the happy couples thread) I let her into my life. I've been drinking less, excercising more, losing weight, and have regained asperations that have me making plans to go back to school and do something with my life, and essentially been happier than i can even remember being in the past, not to mention had my eyes opened to the nasty little killer of historical figures swimming around in my bloodstream.

The only thing that really scares me is the worst case scenario: i lose her and wind up stuck with H. I realize herpes is essentially a crap shoot, but we take every percaution possible and i do beleive i am truly comfortable with the risks involved.

So thanks again to everyone here. Keep on keepin on

 
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Old 04-12-2007, 12:01 PM   #2
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PatrioticLady HB User
Re: Nice story for y'all, my girlfriend's herpes saved my life (sort of)

WOW that is great I hope things work out for you. It is amazing how supportive people can be when you have this. My husband has been amazing about it and I just dont want him to get it either but like he keeps saying, it wont kill either of us and is just something to live with. Good luck and keep up the great work you sound like you are doing great.

 
Old 04-12-2007, 02:10 PM   #3
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positive03 HB User
Re: Nice story for y'all, my girlfriend's herpes saved my life (sort of)

thats great to hear!! its nice to hear guys will actually risk all that to be with someone they care about. gives me hope as i am struggling w recently telling the man i am in love with....and im not sure of the outcome. so good luck w everything!!

 
Old 04-18-2007, 05:54 PM   #4
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shao HB User
Re: Nice story for y'all, my girlfriend's herpes saved my life (sort of)

People tend to forget that everytime you start a relationship, there's always risks. The risk that you'll grow apart, that you won't make it, that terrible things could happen to your partner (like an accident) that you'd have to live with, so risking an infection which is becoming almost the norm nowadays can just be added to that list. In the past year alone Herpes awareness has gone through the roof, compared to previous years. By that alone, it wouldn't surprise me if it becomes almost as common as acne, especially since there is no cure, just suppressants.

I'm glad that you took a chance, because if you hadn't, you wouldn't be where you are now... I find when you abstain from sex for a while and actually get to know the person you're with, it makes for a better start to what could be the best years of your life. Good luck!

 
Old 04-18-2007, 06:09 PM   #5
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suzyshop1 HB User
Re: Nice story for y'all, my girlfriend's herpes saved my life (sort of)

Ive been currently married for 16 going 17 yrs in june.Found out about a month ago that i have oral herpes.My husband got tested about 2 to 3 wks ago.We havent heard anything from the doctor about his results.Im taking it as he doesnt have it.Which means sometime before i married when i was younger i contracted it as i have been faithful all these 16 yrs.I think im am one of the lucky ones ,who have only just recently had one small outbreak on the outside of my nose.My husband knows i have herpes but hes willing to take the chance in getting it ,by not changing anything about our sex life.Neither one of us likes comdoms,so were not using any barrier kind of protection.The disease wont kill you just inconvience your life from time to time.If you start to see a relationship developing between you and someone else,tell them.If they dont want to continue the relationship because you confided in them about your herpes status,then thats there loss.Dont think that you'll never find someone to accept you as you are. If they cant accept it then there not the right person for you anyway.There are alot more serious diseases out there ,life threatining ones.If a person cant deal with a non threating disease like herpes,you wouldnt want to be with that kind of person anyway.Who would fall apart at the first sign of a problem.If a person really cares for you it wont matter so much,just be alittle more cautious.There is life after herpes.Take care.

 
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