| Re: Chances of transmission?
The quick answer to all your questions is "yes" - but nothing is ever that easy!!
Before you start panicing about whether or not this has happened, it's very important that you find out if you actually DO have herpes or not. Go to your Dr., and get a blood test to find out. Being in Canada as you are, I actually had a problem with getting my Dr. to do a type specific test. I'm hoping that's due to ignorance just on his part. Ask your Dr. for a type specific blood test, and you can find out if you have HSV1, HSV2 or, hopefully, no HSV at all!! The test is accurate for prior infections up to 3 - 4 months - meaing that if you acquired the virus in last 3 - 4 months your blood test will be negative.
As for transmission - condoms reduce the risk of transmission, but they don't cut it out completely. The virus can be present in the skin cells of the entire boxer shorts region, and is transmitted via skin on skin contact. So, you could have transmitted the virus to him genitally even though you used a condom. As well, since you engaged in oral sex, he would have been exposed orally as well.
You are correct in saying that it would be OK for you to perform oral sex on him, assuming that you don't have oral herpes and he doesn't have genital herpes.
Get to a doctor and get a blood test. If it comes up negative, take another one in 3 months or so to test for recent infections. In the meantime - if your ex shows up with symptoms, you might want to mention the possibility to him. If he doesn't, wait for the test results to be sure so that you don't worry him needlessly.
Good luck
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