Vulvodynia and perineum fissures NON STOP after herpes - Herpes Message Board

itneverstops · 12-03-2007, 05:22 PM

Will I ever get to enjoy my life again? My husband (and first partner) gave me herpes not even a month after we began having sex. Oh no, it's worse than that... First I got type 2 in my mouth. I had white spots through my mouth and sore throat, fever etc. At the time, the doctor just said it was a passing virus, but after I developed it genitally and started researching, I realized after the fact that I'd had it orally as well. (Never had a "cold sore" on my lip, just sores on my cheeks and throat.) Obviously, the first month wasn't the best since I was a virgin, and since the herpes, I have had NON STOP pain. It has been a year and a half, and not only have I NEVER enjoyed sex, but I can't do anything (especially use the bathroom) without pain. I am so angry that I carefully waited to have sex with my husband only to have all possible enjoyment taken away by the herpes before I even got to enjoy it. I haven't actually had an outbreak with obvious sores since the first one, but the other types of pain have not ended. For months, I had non-stop UTIs, but when doctors did urine cultures to find the bacteria, there was none and they couldn't do anything for me, so I think the urinary pain was due to the herpes. On top of that, I used to love oral sex and could orgasm quickly every time but now it causes me pain and I rarely orgasm (less than five times since the herpes occured 1 1/2 years ago!) The minute my husband touches me with his tongue or finger, the burning starts around my vagina. It matches all the symptoms of volvodynia, and from what I've read, vulvodynia is thought to be caused by herpes in some cases due to nerve damage. As if that's not all, I have constant tears and fissures all through my perineum that hurt all the time. (Urinating is a painful experience and bowel movements are worse.) These tears get worse after sex and bleed for several days. It's like having thousands of paper cuts that constantly sting, then they itch. I have to use pain relieving antibiotic every day just to get some relief. Sometimes I can barely sit down.
I used to look forward to sex, but now it is just a nightmare. Entry is painful no matter how much lubrication is used, and the whole area burns and stings so bad afterwards that I have to lay there with an ice pack and still have pain the next day.

I keep reading that herpes gets less painful with time, but I seem to be having permanent nerve and skin damage even without outbreaks. Does this ever get better or am I doomed for the rest of my life? I didn't even get to have the "joy of sex" before I began paying the consequences for my husband's promiscuous past (that he lied to me about!) This has totally destroyed my new sex life and my marriage, and so it seems, my future sex life if this pain never goes away. I'm so sick of it! What the heck can I do to regain pleasure and get rid of the constant stinging?

kdlws37 · 12-04-2007, 08:30 AM

It seems like you get a high viral load whenever you OB. All those cuts and fissures are active OBs with a high viral attack. I think, though I am no expert, that even when you don't get a visible surface OB, the nerve pain you get is because the virus is travelling down that nerve in big quantities. But this is just what I am figuring...... And the higher the viral load, the more is the chance of some type of permanent damage. You want to avoid this, therefore you might take a suppressive like valtrex or acyclovir or famvir, which ever works best for you whenever u feel an OB coming on........ Better to take these meds, in my opinion than have permanent damage.
Also, u shud take on a daily basis natural antivirals because alot of people have reported that this is the safe way they have found to reduce or even stop OBs.
There are many things people have found that work for them, so you should research these online. But I will suggest a few : unrefined, virgin coconut oil ( 2 - 3 tablespoons daily ), ( this really helps !), apple cider vinegar, cat's claw, olive leaf extract, garlic have been reported by many to help. also red wine with alot of "resveraterol".

Echinacea is a powerful immune booster which should not be taken for long stretches of time but when you get bad OBs. Neem helps others.......

There is a widespread theory that the more alkaline a body is, the more hostile it becomes for viruses. You could raise alkalinity by eating alot of alkaline rather than acid foods , drinking lots of water and getting alot of oxygen in your system through exercise etc. You may look up online what foods tend to be more acid/alkaline . If you follow this, the other benefit is that alkalinity is very good for overall health, not just viruses.........

For most people, with time (which might be a year or a few more), the OBs tend to last alot shorter and become less frequent.

Concentrate on figuring out a formula that will help stop or greatly reduce your OBs. Then stick with it everyday like you would take medication for some other health problem.
Hope this helps ! And if you wanna discuss your oral symptoms more, I'd be happy to anytime.

Ca.Girl2 · 12-04-2007, 10:53 AM

Have you actually had a culture done on your lesions and or blood work done?

Ornament · 12-04-2007, 11:26 AM

Whoa ~ now, that's a rant.....I need tylenol!
Itneverstops,
First things first - you've got to calm down....Stress is a key factor to triggering an outbreak. I know, easier said then done and believe me - I feel your pain...been there - lived through that. Has your doctor recommended anything for the ob's and the pain? What about anitvirals? How much reading/learning have you done regarding the herpes virus? I truly believe education and learning 'your body" are key for dealing with this virus. It can be managable...At first, herpes is an emotional roller-coaster, until you find a way to control it and dooming yourself isn't one of them....it only aggrevates the virus more! Stop stressing, so you can think logically.
Start taking an over-the-counter pain med, aleve, advil, tylenol - whatever works for you.When urinating pour a large cupful of warm water over your lower area, while you're going, this should help. Afterwards use a spray bottle with peroxide (regular kind) and blast that area (let drip dry) do this every time you're urinating. I've even globbed on aloe vera gel (the green kind, sold by sunburn lotions) it can be quite soothing. Then put on boxers or loose sweats with no undies, having nothing touching that area is best. Keep repeating this process until your pain symptons lessen. take daily vitamins and vitamin C to strengthen your immune system, this will help to put the virus in hibernation.
Find a positive attitude, you're not doomed, once you get this under control, it can be manageable and then it will be nothing more that a skin irritation. Keep us posted and oh yea, welcome to the board.
Feel Better & type soon, -Ornament

itneverstops · 12-04-2007, 11:37 AM

I didn't have any blood work or cultures, but my first genital outbreak was so classic, it was unmistakable to the gynecologist. I had every text book sign, but by the time I got help, the lesions were starting to heal and she didn't do a culture. Unfortunately, I didn't recognize my initial prodrome, and I got my first obvious sores on a Friday night. I didn't get to a doctor until Tuesday. At that point, she put me on the highest possible dose of Acyclovir for ten days because she said I had a lot of sores. As for blood work, I couldn't do it at that time because it was too soon, but my husband who supposedly never had any symptoms and didn't know he had it, had blood work done the same day I was diagnosed, and his came back very positive for types 1 and 2.

I have gone back to a different (less judgmental) gynecologist about the constant stinging, burning and fissures, but she said she couldn't do a culture without an obvious open herpes sore. Should I try again and ask for a culture of the fissures that run through my perineum?

One thing I think is weird... I thought I had a good immune system because I almost never get sick. I take daily C, Zinc, multi-vitamins, etc. and echinacea and lysine if I feel worn down. But, these sores and burning I'm having are not separate outbreaks; they never go away. Is it possible to have 1 1/2 years of a never ending outbreak? Especially when I usually never get sick?

My husband doesn't know how long he's had herpes, but considering he's slept with well over 50 women since 1981, it's safe to say he's had it a while. The only person who warned him that she had it was a girlfriend he had in 1983, but given the statistics and the fact that he was sleeping with other highly promiscuous people, I have a feeling he's been exposed at least 15 times (if 25% of average women have it and his partners were far more active.) Still, he swears he never saw a single sore until I had my first outbreak. He reformed from promiscuity in the late 80's and hadn't slept with anyone for 2 1/2 years prior to me. Since then, he's had several more single sore outbreaks. I know it is possible to have it for years without symptoms then have them suddenly show up, but I also know that isn't the norm. I can't help but wonder if he didn't have outbreaks and know all along. He swore up and down before we got married that he was safe and hadn't slept with many people, but if he'd told me the truth about his past I would have insisted on proof =(