just find out you have herpes? - Herpes Message Board

berlingirl · 01-26-2008, 09:00 PM

I am writing this post for those of you who are dealing with the news of having herpes. I am a 21 year old female who contracted genital herpes from another female. I have been in a relationship with my fiance [male] for almost 2 years.

The bad: Right before we became sexually active I was seeing a woman. She was beautiful, smart, and very... decieving. I was nieve about std's and thought i had nothing to worry about with a female. I was wrong. She had no signs or symptoms. About 2 months after we had been together and 1 month after I first met my [now fiance] I had my first sign. I thought i had the worst urine infection of my life. My fiance and i had unprotected sex and that was that. When I went to the doctor for my problem, they gave me test results that were much different than i was expecting. I had to come home and tell him. I cried, he was upset [not angry], i felt dirty, i felt unattractive, i wondered how it was going to affect our relationship. I asked him, how can we have a healthy relationship now, ever time you look at me you are going to know that i am tainted. I felt like my life was over. The lesions were so painful i could hardly walk and they were constant. it is not always like that!!! we dealt with our situation and it has made our relationship so strong. The lesions very painful and if we ever break up i am not sure how i will persue a future.

The good: I am no longer nieve. From this std, I have built one of the strongest relationships in the world. I feel like i could talk to him about everything. I no longer feel like damaged goods, i feel just like my old self. The worst part of having herpes is in the initial stages, after the incubation period, you will hardly even know you have it. [in other words it is very seldom that i feel discomfort from genital herpes]. We have a very open, healthy sex life.

In other words, your life will not change as much as you think!

Other Facts: Contrary from popular belief, Herpes [either type] can NOT be tested for...As you [possibly?] know, cold soars are a form of herpes. Therefor, if you have cold soars, you ALREADY have herpes. They are different types. Example: You think you might have contracted genital herpes from a partner, but you have had cold soars before. You go to the doctor and get a test. Even if you DO NOT have genital herpes it will come up positive. Herpes are determined by a doctor preforming a coloposcopy [examination of the cervix by a microscope], taking a culture [cutting a piece of skin from an outbreak], or the observation OF an outbreak. Herpes can be contracted in any area which has mucus membranes [mouth, genitals, anus] and depending on what strand of the type you have can be transferred to multiple areas.

Hope this helped. Good luck!

catharine101 · 01-27-2008, 01:18 PM

Actually, there is a test for herpes. An IgG blood test will tell you if you have herpes (after 3 - 4 months exposure). I just won't tell you how long you've had it, unless you have previous, negative test results to compare against. You do, however, need a culture test of an active outbreak to determine the location of your herpes.

berlingirl · 01-31-2008, 06:49 PM

well, you are saying the same thing i was because about half the population "technically" has herpes. cold sores are herpes. scabes are herpes. so even if you dont have genital herpes the blood test will come up positive for herpes. thus, you will freak out and make assumptions. the bottom line is, if you think you have herpes beacuse you are seeing something, a blood test is not going to prove that what you are seeing is herpes.

catharine101 · 01-31-2008, 07:43 PM

Well, not quite the same. In your original post, you say that herpes CAN'T be tested for. But it can. I just clarified a bit. For the new readers, clarity is everything, because they have limited knowledge about what they are dealing with, and need to hear things laid out as clear as possible.