in need of advice and help - Herpes Message Board

vantasias · 03-08-2008, 07:00 AM

my daughter is comming home in a week to visit and she has herpes 1 and 2. she got it from her ex hubby who never told her he had it. her doctor said she did not have it because she does not out break down south. her out break is around her mouth and she takes valtrex for it. she has had herpes 1 for her entire life. but since her dr. told her she did not have it but she wants her to go off the valtrex and have an out break to culture it. her blood test test postive for both. here are my concerns:
1) how can this be spread? do i need to be worried about giving her a kiss, driniking after her etc.....
2) my 2 yr old grandson will be staying with us as well and he open mouth kiss right now and safty concerns there with her changing him and stuff?
i love my family very much and want to protect them/us all. but i really think my daughter is in denial of the whole thing. everytime i talk to her she changes her story about if she has it or not. and now she is slppeing with another partner and did not tell him because she was drunk and then she said he knew and was fine with it for a one night stand. i am very upset with her about the way she is handeling this and i really need some advice on how to talk to her about it. we have bad communication between us in the past. i talk and she never listens. but whst makes me the most angry with her is that she is in the military and works in the lab at the hospital. so she has had background traning in the transmittion of diseases. but tells me there is nothing to worry about because she dont have it. that she test postive for type 2 because she has type 1 that it mutated into type 2 but her only outbreak is around the mouth. i think she was giving him hummer and not the truck and that is how she got it around her mouth.
well enough about it for now thanks for listening to me ramble.
thanks
concerned mother

matter of time · 03-08-2008, 01:25 PM

If she had type 1 all her life, you don't have to do anything different. Do you have it too? A lot of children get oral type 1 from kissing relatives. A lot of people who test positive for type 2 do not have any symptoms. Since she had type 1 all along, that would give her partial immunity to type 2--which could be another reason she does not have symtoms down south.

Hopefully she knows to not kiss anyone if she is having an outbreak on her mouth.

Common sense, I wouldn't share just used drinking glasses even though there is almost no chance of spreading it that way.

Other than that you don't have to do anything different.

vantasias · 03-08-2008, 01:32 PM

yes i have type 1 too all my life but all the years in the military and being tested once a year i have never tested postive for type 2 like she has nor have i ever had to take anything for it. is it only when she is having an out break or will she shed the virus without an outbreak? my grandson is 2 and open mouth kisses and wants to share drinks and food. thanks for your help i hope i am not being a bother i just want to educate my self to it all. i am finding myself in unfamiliar waters but i do love my daughter very much. and i dont want to treat her different like a lot of people do when they find out you have something that they dont understand. again thanks you so much for your reply.

am i contageous to my grandson as well for type 1? if so what precautions should i take i have not had a cold sore in almost 5 years now.

matter of time · 03-08-2008, 01:53 PM

Oral herpes is most contagious when there is an outbreak. Is is possible to spread it when you don't have an outbreak but the chances are very low.

As far as the type 2,as long as no one is touching your daughter's genitals, you don't have to worry about that at all.

Your grandson won't get it from sharing food and cups. He might get it from kissing but if you are not having an outbreak it is worth the risk. Maybe your daughter got it from you that way. If he does get it, it is not a big deal. Half of all children have it and 80% of adults. Many children only have 1 outbreak and never get it again. Of course you wouldn't deliberatly give it to him but no need to panic if he does get it. Did you panic when you daughter got it as a child?

vantasias · 03-08-2008, 06:36 PM

no i did not worry when my daughter got it as a child but then times were different and i did not know what it was. as i am 43 yrs old and my daughter has type 2 outbreak around her mouth not her genitals and no worry about any one here touching her genitals. she got it from proforming oral sex on her hubby and he did not tell her he had it till married 3 months and one day she had a cold sore and he would not kiss her goodbye and told her she needed to go get checked cause he was postive. they used condoms and that is why the dr said she dont have type 2 because it is not located in her gentials but the dr. wants to culture it. if she preformed oral sex and got type 2 that way that would explain the mouth outbreaks right? but her orginal out break as a child was on her index finger of her right hand and the dr. thought it was a spider bite but it would come and go off and on for about 3 months and then nothing that was when she was 1 1/2 to 2 yrs old. so can my daughter give it to anyone since her outbreaks of type 2 are around her mouth? thanks again so much for all your help